Learning to forget
by Klaine-Blurt
Summary: Kurt and Blaine split up when Kurt moves to New York for College. Kurt has a long term boyfriend but is everything as it seems, and why would Blaine end up back up on the scene after many years of no communication? WARNING contains lots of angst including domestic violence. COMPLETE -With Sequel In Works
1. 1:Courage and Strength

_**A/N . Don't worry I haven't forgotten about the fic I'm just having writers block on it at the moment and this just came to me ive written a good few chapters for this already. There is two ways it could end, one is basically just later on than the other, so I would apprechiate your feed back to know if you want me to bother with the 2**__**nd**__** part or not. I hope you like it I hope to be able to post at least the 1**__**st**__** part of this (up to the 1**__**st**__** ending everyday well see what happens after then)**_

"_Help please help! Ask questions later. I need help, if you still live in New York if you can please get to quickly. And whatever you do please don't reply back to this text"_

The thing that cause him to dare to ask for help started early on Saturday morning when Mark came in at 4am. Kurt had been asleep on the sofa but he was a light sleeper especially these days. He literally jumped off the sofa with fright, he didn't even remember sitting down on the sofa let alone falling asleep on it. He knew almost instantly he was in for hell, he remember he'd done so much the previous night that after working all day and all the house work he had done, he must have fallen asleep before doing the pots or the hovering.

"What the hell are you doing asleep on the couch when you haven't finished cleaning this place?" Mark spat.

"I'm sorry; I'd done so much what with work and all the other jobs like the ironing and the cooking that I don't remember falling asleep. I really am sorry" Kurt said quickly and quietly.

"I'm sorry, I come back to this place looking a mess like this and all you can say is I'm sorry" Mark was starting to raise his voice now. And to say the amount of alcohol clearly in his system he still seemed perfectly capable to put a sentence together.

"I know, I know, it's no excuse. I'm sorry. I'll go and get it all sorted now. I really am sorry"

"Yes you dam well will" Mark said pulling Kurt up by the hair. Kurt didn't as much as flinch at the pain that must have been racing though his boy with this force on his normally flawless hair. One he was fully standing Mark pushed him in the direction of the small kitchen. Kurt stumbled but managed to remain on his feet and hurried the rest of the distance to the kitchen.

Once Kurt was in the kitchen and sure Mark couldn't see him he let out a little shudder that took over his whole body. Within a second however he was back to his perfect posture with a blank expression on the porcelain skin of his face. He runs the water and starts to make quick work of the pots, not making Mark and more angry and the forefront of his mind. He knew that rushing the pots wasn't a good idea. Before he even knows what's happening Kurt hears a glass smash on the tiled floor. Mark is there is a flash "What the fuck are you doing Hummel?"

"I'm..I'm sorry, so sorry, I was trying to get it done quickly so that I could get round to getting the living room up to your standards. I'm sorry." Kurt's blank persona seems like it could slip away any second but somehow he managed to keep it. "I'll go get the dustpan and brush to get this lot cleaned up" He took a step towards the cupboard when a hand slaps him hard forcing him to stop.

"You'll do no such thing, you made this mess, you'll get down there and sort this fucking mess out with your bare fucking hands" He shoved both hands onto Kurt's shoulders and proceeds to shove him down. "It might teach you a lesson, seems nothing else has so far you ungreatful cow. Seems like not having your mother around when you were younger did lots of damage to you and stopped you being domesticated properly". At these words Kurt freezes and a single tear falls down his check, luckly hes on his hands on his knees with his face towards the floor so Mark doesn't notice. Marks put him through physical pain so many times before but nothing compares to the pain of those words, they cut deep, deeper than anything else.

It wasn't until Mark spoke that Kurt realised that he wasn't doing what he was meant to be. "Get a fucking move on, this mess wont sort itself out you know." He kicks Kurt hard in the back, easily hard enough to leave a mark on his easily bruisable skin. It was a few seconds before he realised that his hands had slipped forward into some of the glass. He ignores the pain as he sets to cleaning up the glass. When he's got all the glass physically possible with his hands he dares to look up at Mark and ask "Can I please get the hoover?"

"Yes you may but don't you dare look at me you clumsy bitch" And with that he slaps Kurt with a truly purposeful force. Kurt scrambles to his feet as quickly as he could, but it obviously wasn't quick enough for Mark's liking as the next thing Kurt knows he's falling into the sharp corner of one of the kitchen counters. He knows this will be yet another mark to add to the ones already forming on his skin.

He hovered up0 the remainder of the glass shards quickly before moving into the living room and hovering that as well even thought it was almost immaculate so Kurt hovered it at least twice a day to try and keep Mark happy, he never wanted to give him ammunition to be angry with him, he knew it just wasn't worth it. He switched the hoover off and packed in away immaculately, so as not to upset his boyfriend. "Good you've finally finished pretty boy, now get the fuck to the bedroom and get undressed. I need some relief after all the stress you've caused me this morning, even though I'm meant to be the man you love the most in the whole world. And don't even bother arguing with me Hummel just fucking do it".

"But I…I don't want to" Kurt whispered back.

"Don't piss me off Hummel just fucking do it"

Kurt knew exactly what was coming and he hated not being able to fight back. He knows that when it comes to sex he is basically there just to satisfy Mark. It had been this way for over 3 years now. Mark was basically using Kurt to satisfy his natural sexual desires. And Kurt was certain about one more this that it was always much much worse when Mark was drunk. If he didn't care about Kurt during sex normally he most definitely didn't care about him when he was drunk. It was always the worst, normally within no less than a minute of being on the bed Mark would be as deep inside him as physically possible. Without how much is hurt Kurt, how much Kurt felt like he was going to be ripped in two and it never got any better.

Once Mark had finished with Kurt he fell asleep instantly. Kurt however couldn't sleep his mind was racing with so many thoughts, he couldn't believe he'd let this all happen again, why hadn't he left last time? He'd been promising himself that ever since it first happened 3years 1month and 4days ago (yes Kurt remember it that clearly) that he'd get out that he'd leave. But every single time Mark managed to convince him to stay, with an apology and flowers and a new designer outfit that to be honest was normally brought with Kurt's own money, but it always worked.

Kurt could feel his body bruising under him. It was the same story whenever this happened, as weak as he is he always tries to say no to the sex especially on these terms, "No, please Mark I don't want this", and it never worked. Instead it normally made things worse. He was normally forced onto his stomach his arms being held above his head by one of Marks hands. The other one of which normally ends up leaving deep scratches all over his body along with multiple bite marks. After sex like this Kurt was always black and blue, but one thing Mark normally made sure it was in places people wouldn't see, and he knew it wouldn't be long until he could hardly move.

Kurt sobbed silently as he lay on their bed so many thoughts going through his head. He remembered the 1st two years of this relationship and god they were wonderful, truly wonderful, they had been equals and everything had been perfect. Then it all went wrong and to this day Kurt still didn't know why, all he knows it that deep down its his fault, can only be his fault that his perfect boyfriend turned into some kind of possessed monster. Kurt had lost count of the times that he'd been hurt like this. The amount of times he's been too weak to leave. His mother would be so disappointed and ashamed of him right now, she'd always taught him to be himself and hold his head up high. A fresh wave of tears come flooding into his eyes, they words that Mark had used about him and his mother ringing in his ears. Never ever had Mark stooped this low, and it was Killing Kurt from the inside. And this was what made him realise he couldn't do it anymore, if he owed it to anyone to fight this to at least try and get out it was his mother, his precious late mother. So, from somewhere he didn't even know he had, he found the last inch of strenght left inside him, and he picked up his phone from his bedside table, and he remembered those words that he'd seen so many times in his locker in high school "_COURAGE_". He slowly but purposefully typed out the message, not even sure if it would reach the person it was meant for, but at least if he tired he could make his mum proud. As soon as it was sent he deleted the evidence.


	2. 2:The apology

**A/N it seems like quite a few people have read this story and enjoyed it. This is actually an extra chapter I'm adding it wasn't one of the original 4 but it works so I thought I'd add it so now its 5 chapters long, if I don't do a sequel. Depending on numbers who have read this by the time I head to bed. I may publish the 3****rd**** chapter as it's already uploaded as a document on to here just needs the last few adjustments. Please continue to review to let me know what you think. **

Kurt wakes up later that day to the sight of Mark bringing him breakfast in bed. So he must remember at least some of last night and is feeling guilty Kurt thinks to himself. He tries to push his way up the bed, but with just waking up and all the bruises, he feels way to sore to do so. It's clear to Kurt that Mark has seen him struggling as he quickly lays the tray down on the bedside table and is soon at his side. Kurt doesn't flinch when Mark comes near him, as much as he wants to at the thought of Mark touching him, but his heart does start racing.

"Hey, baby it's ok I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. I'm sorry," Mark says his voice laced with what sounds like regret.

Once Kurt is sitting in a comfortable position as possible, with all the bruises covering his body, Mark places the tray gently onto his lap. Kurt not really sure his he can stomach eating right now, but he isn't going to refuse and risk Mark getting angry.

"Eat this sweetheart it will help you feel better. Then I'm gonna run you a bath so you can relax, then were going to go shopping and I'm going to spoil you." Yes with my money Kurt thinks to himself, he's always earned more than Mark since he'd graduated college what with fashion design and acting. Again he doesn't say anything though, he doesn't want to give Mark any reason to stop being sweet like this. "We'll get you some new outfits, and then we'll have lunch together and watch a movie if you want?"

Kurt isn't going to argue "Yes please," he says after swallowing a mouthful of toast.

"You don't need to say please Princess, it's the least I can do to make things better" Kurt has to hold back a shudder at being called Princess. Yes he is gay and that doesn't bother him especially not now, he'd come to terms with that years ago, but being called Princess always makes him fell like less of a man, and more like a failure. What who us he kidding he is a failure, he's told so often enough.

Kurt finishes his breakfast in silence and Mark goes to run him a bath in their on-suite. To be honest Kurt isn't exactly sure how he is going to get in and out of the bath, his body feels so battered, and yes battered really is the only way to describe it. What hurts more though is that fact it's all been caused by the man who is meant to love him the most in the whole world. Kurt knows this isn't really love, it's physical and emotional abuse, but what can he do, he made his bed, he has to lie in it right?

A while later he slowly sinks into the bath, wincing as the warm water splashes over all the places where he has open wounds from the bites. He slowly lets himself relaxed having locked the door before getting undressed; he doesn't want Mark coming in. He picks up his phone just to look at the time, 10:37, not too late. It isn't until now he remembers that text he sent just 4 hours ago. He thinks about how much courage he'd somehow managed to muster just to send that text. It also hits him like a tonne of bricks because his cry for help doesn't seem to have been answered. However he managed to find that bit of courage and he isn't going to let it escape him right now, he decides for his mother and her memory he is going to try just one more time. He can still hear the words Mark said about his mother reverberating around his head. He pulls up the blank message screen and quickly types out a message.

"_Please I know you may be confused, this isn't a joke I need help. If you still live near the address in the previous text come please. I need help" _

Kurt doesn't put his name on the text as he knows that putting his name of the text will do one of two things. It would either make the recipient realize that this wasn't a joke a come quicker, or it would have the complete opposite effect and make only too sure the recipient doesn't come, so he thinks it's safer to leave his name off altogether. He hits the send button before he has chance to change his mind, and as soon as it's sent he quickly deletes the evidence again. He lays his head back onto the back of the bath and allows himself to try and relax.

He must have fallen asleep as he is woken to a gentle knock on the door. He can hear Mark's gentle voice talking to him.

"Kurt, you alright? You've been in there over an hour and I've not heard any fresh water running."

"Yes I'm sorry I must have fallen asleep, I really am sorry I'll get out now," Kurt is quick to make it clear his is now getting out he never spends this long in the bath.

"No, no it's ok; don't be sorry you're obviously tired. Run some more hot water into the bath, as it must be pretty cold by now." It's only then that Kurt realizes that Mark is right and the water is cold, and he's shivering. "Wash your hair and do all of the other stuff I know you like to do at the end of your bath, and then one you've finished get out when you're ready. We have all do we aren't in a rush, I will just go and make myself a coffee and watch the telly until you're ready, and don't worry I will make sure it's something long and interesting, I know how long your moisturizing routine is."

"Okay thanks," Kurt says. He knows that the giggle that came from Mark at the end of that sentence is a genuine one and not one to be scared of for once. In a way it makes him feel guilty about the two texts he's sent. But then again to be honest he isn't really very hopefully that they'd even reach the person they were intended for, and even if they did he isn't really sure if the person will act on them or not.


	3. 3:All a big joke

_**A/N: Ok you did it i decided that chapter 1 and 2 had enough traffic for me to be able to upload this i hope you like it. Sorry this is a short one. The way I am splitting this story up it doesn't work to be part of either of the other chapters it has to be a chapter on its own but it's just a short one. Again let me know what you think.**_

He wasn't used to his phone going off at such an inhuman hour on a Saturday. He was even more shocked when he realises the text is from a number he doesn't recognise and wasn't saved in his phone. He was so close to just deleting the text without even looking but to be honest he was kind of intrigued by it especially with the hour at which it arrived. To say it wasn't what he was expecting would be a major understatement. He was both amazed and shaken to the core but what he read, he had to read it a few times just to take it in properly. Within minutes his mind was all over the place. If it was someone's idea of a joke then it's pretty sick, and also how did they know his number. If it was true why the hell did his person need help and again who the hell was it, to have his number and think even for a minuet that he might try and help them. He didn't know what to do, but he knows one thing for sure he wasn't going to get back to sleep anytime soon. He got up and went for a shower to try and get his head straight.

He got out of the shower 15minuets later. He was more convinced that anything that the whole thing was a huge practical joke. He was tempted to open the text and ring the sender to find out what they hell they thought they were playing at, but then he remember that the text had clearly said not to make any contact over the phone back, and so he just couldn't, if by some small chance this was actually true it seemed like if he contacted the person back they could get into some kind of trouble or something. Then a thought crossed his mind, how many people would be up at this time in the morning to be able to play a joke like this?

He got dressed still toying with his thoughts. One in particular kept coming back over and over again. If something was wrong with whoever sent this text, and he did nothing and then in a few days he found out that something had happened and that he didn't do something to stop it, well he knew he would never ever forgive himself. He was sure that being 100% sure that there was no possibility of no one being hurt or in danger what more important that the fact he may make a huge fool of himself, hey if he did it wouldn't be the first time anyway.

He decided that to be honest it wasn't the day for him to be acting on anything like this especially not at that time in the morning. He had a pretty big gig later that evening. He decided that he would go and play it had always been his was of escape, time away from his thoughts, and he didn't want now to be any different. He went into his study/office and picked his guitar and started playing, singing "Tonight's the night" just one of the hundreds of songs he's written, and one he would be singing later that evening.

He'd been playing for over three hours when he heard his phone go off again. He thought it was probably his agent confirming the details were all ok for that evening. However it wasn't and within a minuet all the thoughts that had left him before he started playing were back. It was from the same number as earlier and he couldn't help but think that maybe something really was wrong.

He decided that before anything else he needs to check if the address in the first text is actually really place. He turned on his mac book and Google searched the address. It was a real place around 10-15minuets away from his department. If this was a prank it must have been very well thought out as surely no one would use their real address when pulling something like this, is what he thought to himself. He decides that no he was right h could definitely not take the risk that someone maybe in danger. He knew that no matter what he would have to go and check all was ok, he most certainly wasn't the kind of man who liked guilt. He'd had enough guilt over the past few years in many different forms and he certainly didn't want to add anymore to that pile. He knew for sure that he needed to take his phone that way he could excuse himself more easily if it was some kind of big prank.

He got into his car feeling awfully nervous. He didn't like the thought of making a fool of himself but he also didn't like the thought of anybody being so helpless that they only way that they can reach out was a text message. He thought about all his friends and he didn't believe any of them would be this distant for this to become there only outreach, but still he couldn't do nothing. He sat in the car for a few minutes composing himself before pulling out his cell phone to get the zip code of the place he was about to go to and tap it into his sat nav. He had a feeling if he didn't leave quickly he would soon run out of courage to do so, so he started the car and without another thought he was off.


	4. 4:He knows that voice

**A/N** **The last chapter didnt seem to get as many hits as i thoughts, im hoping people are still liking the fic, and its just to do with when it was posted or something. Please review and let me know your still liking it, as I'm meant to be starting, the sequel to the 5 chapters i already have but i dont want to write them if people arent enjoying them, as ill focus on something else instead if thats the case.**

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There a knock on the door, normally Mark would have sent Kurt to answer it, but for a few reasons this morning he didn't. One he felt super guilty about what had happened earlier that morning even though he didn't remember most of it, two Kurt was so bruised and stiff he could hardly move and three he was busy getting dressed hiding all the evidence of what had gone off. When Mark opened the door both him and the guy standing the other side recognised each other instantly even though it had been 6years at least since they last saw each other.

"So you sent this" The guy at the door said sounding a little shocked and thrusting the phone into Mark's hand. Mark snatches the phone and skims the message quickly, and fuck he knows that number his bitch is in so much trouble right now. Without a second glance back Mark walks off, with a look of such angry in his face, slamming the door behind him. Luckily the guy standing at the door in quick enough to stick his foot out and stop it from closing completely, for two reasons really one Mark has taken his phone and two something seems not quite right about the whole situation.

At first all the man can hear is light mumbling coming from inside the apartment neither voice is clear and he couldn't hear what they were saying. Of course he knew one belong to Mark but he had no idea who the other voice belonged to. He just stood there quickly for a minuet hoping that any second of the two people will come back with his phone and explain the situation. Then all of a sudden he hears Mark's raised voice well about its normal level "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" There's a mumbled answer in return but he still can't work out what is being said or by whom. The conversation quickly gets worse and Blaine can hear Mark shouting at someone "THEN PLEASE TELL ME WHY THE FUCK BLAINE ANDERSON, YOUR EX, IS AT MY DOOR WITH THIS ON HIS PHONE" there is a really malicious tone in his voice "TRUST ME YOUR GOING TO FUCKING PAY FOR THIS." At this Blaine can't just stand at the front door any longer, someone seems to be in danger in there he doesn't know who but that doesn't change the fact that he's got to at least try and help. He pushes the door open and walks quickly into the living room, he soon has a clear view of the bedroom. He is almost in the doorway just in time to see Mark raise his hand with something in it above his head. It's at this point Blaine's eyes are drawn to a small figure cowering in the corner.

Blaine freezes as he sees Mark's arm move quickly and purposefully downwards. He like his heart literally stops with what he hears next. The figure cowering in the corner lets out a screaming "NO" and god Blaine knows that voice even after all these years and even when its screaming so unnaturally, the owner of that voice is unmistakable. Oh god no is the only thing Blaine can think to himself, not him of all people; this was the last person he expected to be in a situation like this, and he fighting back tears. He fights back there tears as he hears the item in Mark's hand collide loudly with Kurt's head. As Mark yells "AND THAT'S JUST FOR FUCKING STARTERS YOUR GONNA PAY FOR THIS YOU DIRTY LITTLE SLUT." Blaine breath seems to stop if he knows one thing about Kurt (he hopes he knows a lot more) he knows he's many things both good and bad but he isn't a slut.

Before he knows what he's doing Blaine is running forward screaming at the top of his voice "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE" he grabs Mark's hand just as he's about to swing it down about. And at this point he's so thankful for his boxing days. He somehow manages to get what he now realises is a little statue out of Mark's hand. And again his body is reacting before his brain can and he's swinging a right hander at Mark which hits him clear in the face. "I'D GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW IF I WAS YOU, AS IF YOU LAY ANOTHER FUCKING FINGER ON THAT PERFECT MAN I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS. AND TRUST ME I WILL FUCK YOU UP BIG STYLE!"

It seems Mark gets the message as without another word and not even so much as a glance at Kurt he turns and runs. For a moment Blaine wonders how all he did was punch Mark. Then he's cruelly reminded why, Kurt is laying on the bedroom floor, and Blaine's unsure what state he is actually in. Kurt is just a few inches away and Blaine's breathe hitches when he realises exactly how bad this could actually be, for all he knows that blow could have killed Kurt. He panics but manages to pick Kurt up, and he's shocked by how light he is especially for his age and height, and he lays him carefully on the bed, that he and Mark clearly normally share, he can tell but just how pristine it is. He checks with baited breath that Kurt's got a pulse and the surge of relief that fills Blaine when he realises he has is indescribable, "Thank fuck for that" he mutters to himself.

He quickly locates a large suitcase which he knows for sure is Kurt's and quickly packs it with clothes that he of while he knows there's no doubt are Kurt's. He reaches in the bed side door to pull out some sock and briefs, and gosh that's kinda awkward after all Kurt is still his ex-boyfriend, and he knows the look of these briefs only too well. He grabs the suitcase and walks to the door, he glances around very carefully to be as certain as he can be that Mark isn't there. He runs with lighting speed down to his car (he's so thankful he drove and didn't take a taxi now), he shoves the suitcase in the boot, he knows Kurt wouldn't be impressed with the treatment of his suitcase but at the moment he really didn't care he needed to get back to him, to make sure he was alright. Once he sees he's still there and that Mark isn't back he calms a little, and grabs his own phone, along with one that looks like it's probably Kurt and a set of house keys, he doesn't know why he wants the keys but it's a just in case kind of thing. He places all three items into his pocket before he scoops Kurt, his precious Kurt well that's what he used to be anyway, up into his arms like a baby. He carries him down to the car, and manages to unlock and open the back door while keeping Kurt in his arms. He lays him down gently on the back seat and covers him with his, in case of emergencies blanket (he didn't expect this to be the kind of emergency it was used in). He places a kiss onto his forehead just as a way to try and reassure Kurt that he's safe, even if he isn't conscious. He jumps into the drivers seem and without another though of anything starts to drive them towards he house, as quickly and carefully as he can. Mindful that Kurt is laid out on the back seats not buckled in.


	5. 5:You're safe now

**A/N Well this is the last of the chapters i had planned to be part of the original fic, but people seem to be enjoying it i am going to be doing more. The 1st new chapter is already written for you ready to be uploaded the day after this one. Please continue to review and let me know what you think. Sorry this is a shortish chapter, the next one makes up for it as its a pretty long one **

Blaine unlocks his apartment door as quickly as physically possible he places Kurt's suitcase hurriedly on the sofa before rushing back to get Kurt not waiting to leave him for any length of time. Blaine's apartment only has one room with a bed in it; the other potential bedroom is his office come music room. So he carries Kurt's inside and lays him ever so gently on the top of his bed. As soon as Kurt's out of his arms he lets out a sigh that's so big he wasn't even sure it was one a human was possible of creating. He's never expected to see Kurt ever again, especially like this. Kurt was the love of his life for two years and seeing him like this was without doubt one of the worst moments in Blaine's life.

Once he'd had time to collect his thoughts and convince himself that yes his ex-boyfriend was going to be ok he stroked a finger gently over his hand before exiting the bedroom and headed towards the kitchen. His nerves were shot and he'd only had one coffee that morning what with everything that went off and even with all the adrenaline in his system he wasn't a person that could normally function without two or three coffees. He also needed to coffee to try and help him control the shakes that were now coming over his body from the sheer shock of the earlier events: Seeing Kurt and Mark after all these years, learning that Kurt and Mark were seemingly a couple, and seeing Kurt be hurt like that, his precious Kurt. No Blaine he's not your precious Kurt anymore he hasn't been for some time he thought to himself.

He's half way through his cup of coffee when he's startled by screaming, it takes him a second to realise where it's coming from. As soon as he does he's throwing his coffee cup on the kitchen counter and running to his bedroom, to Kurt. He doesn't even really know what's gone off today or whenever other than Mark hitting Kurt over the head with a statue, but he knows that he needs to go and try and comfort Kurt. The fact that he is Kurt's ex-boyfriend and the way Kurt treated him last time they saw each other didn't matter. He needed to do this Kurt had been his best friend and he needed comfort now and Blaine couldn't not provide the comfort.

Kurt is face down in the bed screaming "NO PLEASE NO. MARK I DON'T WANT THIS NO." Blaine lays his hand on hurt's shoulder and Kurt flinches in what seems like pain before be freezes and stops screaming, and Blaine is pretty sure its fear and not comfort that's preventing him screaming. Blaine instantly wonders what more there is to this whole situation for Kurt to be scared by a simple hand on the shoulder, he knows it's not right at all. Blaine quietly whispers "Kurt don't panic please, it's me Blaine your safe now I promise" Blaine doesn't push it any further; he knows that Kurt's always been the kind to just need a few minutes to himself sometimes. He doesn't loosen his grip on his shoulder however he wants Kurt to know that he's here and that at that particular time he wasn't going anywhere.

After what feels like a life time, but is only actually problem a time span of a few minutes, Blaine feels the tale tall movement that Kurt's crying. He knows the feeling all too well from the amount of times he's had to be Kurt's shoulder to cry on before. "You're safe now Kurt, I promise you're safe, I'm here and right here right now I'm going nowhere. You're not at home you're at my apartment, I don't know exactly what went off back there but I got you out, Mark can't touch you here. Let it all out let, let it all go don't hold it back." Blaine knows that Kurt often finds it hard to fully cry to the point of having no tears left until he's told he's allowed to. Blaine moves to sit on the bed next to Kurt keeping contact with his shoulder at all times.

After a few minuets Kurt's still crying but he's pulling out of the grasp of Blaine hand, he's wincing pretty badly but he's moving to lay his head on Blaine's shoulder and trying to wriggle into an embrace. Blaine knows that yes things are a little awkward but he can't not open his arm and wrap it around Kurt, slowly and gentle, mindful that Kurt maybe very scared of fast movements after earlier.

He knows that now Kurt doesn't want to hear his voice, he's crying loudly, Blaine knows that the simple embrace is enough. He feels his shoulder getting slower wetter and allows his time mind to wander. The last time he was allowed to comfort Kurt they were still a couple in High school. Oh my gosh how he missed those days, how he wondered how different things would be right this second if they didn't break up and Blaine feels flooded with guilt. He's sure that's why he went to the address in the text message so there wouldn't be any guilt but he still felt it anyway.

Blaine's brought back to earth with a loud thump. Kurt's screaming and then he's hyperventilating. It seems to Blaine that Kurt's shaking all over as if he isn't in control of his own body. He tries to help Kurt saying firmly but calmly "Kurt calm down, it's all right your safe, you need to breath, please breath…IN and…OUT" but it's too late the next this he knows Kurt slumps against him and its obvious to Blaine he's had a panic attack and blacked out.

"You are safe now i promise"

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The original story ended here, but i have decided i am going to continue it, and go into Kurt's healing process hope you contiue to enjoy and continue to review


	6. 6:Why had he been so stupid

**A/N Well this fic seems to be going really well so I decided that I would start doing an extension, this is the 1****st**** of the chapters that wasn't planned as part of the original fic. I know this may not be the best chapter or the fic or its type but a few people wanted to know breakup details so I did what I could to allow me to still update, so I hope its ok. Please keep reviewing I'm really grateful for all the reviews and the amount of hits this fic is getting. **

Blaine felt so guilty; he didn't quite know why it wasn't like he'd done this to Kurt. No he'd rescued him for it. He'd never seen Kurt looking so frail ever, not with everything he'd ever been though both alone and when they were together he knew that he'd never been this bad. He still couldn't actually believe this wasn't just some awful dream or something, Kurt was such a kind person and he couldn't imagine anyone wanting to do something like this to him, especially not Mark, they'd been good friends since Kurt moved to New York, and sometime between now and the time Kurt and himself last spoke they had obviously become an item.

Blaine couldn't help but stoke the forehead of the person who had once been the love of his life. Oh where did it all go wrong he thought to himself? This could have all been so different if I wasn't such an arse all those years back. He thought back 8 years and he really could kick himself at what an idiot he'd been. Kurt was moving to New York, and everyone especially Blaine's parents kept telling him how hard long distance relationships were, and that Kurt would have so much more freedom in New York, and that gays were able to so much more easily open over there that it wasn't fair on Kurt for Blaine to hold him back.

Of course Blaine had been stupid enough to believe them. That fateful converstation was still so clear in his mind even to this day.

"_Kurt I know you are going to New York and I'm so excited for you, you are going to do amazing things for yourself, I know it. However I ..i…I don't really know how to say this but I don't think that we can still carry on. You are going to be in such an amazing place full of amazing people and it isn't fair for me to hold you back. I feel like if we stay together that's exactly what I be doing. And believe me when I say I'm not making this decision lightly I'm doing it for you to set you free, to allow you to reach your full potentinal and if any one deserves that it's you._

_A single tear rolled down Kurt check "Blaine you…you know that isn't want I want, you really do. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, ever, and I don't want to lose you. Please don't do this"_

"_Kurt you won't lost me well stay friends I promise but the relationship won't work, it's not fair on you, you're going to be so busy you're doing a joint Major in Fashion and the arts, you're not going to have time to Skype me every day or for me to come and visit you every weekend. We'll have time for a few texts every few days and Skype maybe once or twice in a good month. You need to be set free and by staying with me it's not doing that. I'm still planning on applying to New York universities next year, so it most definitely doesn't stop us being friends, we can re-asses everything next year, we don't even know if I'll get into anywhere in New York yet what then Kurt, and I just can't imagine that I think it's better that way, rather than risking getting any deeper this year for it all to be tore away from us next year. I really am sorry you have to believe me"_

"_Well trust me when I say I really don't want that to be your decision Blaine, but I love you enjoy to respect it if that's really want you want to happen". They lent in and gave each other a final kiss on the lips_

"_You do realise I'm still never saying goodbye to you don't you? You're the only man I've really ever wanted" Kurt said with tears in his eyes, all he could do was nod in response._

I was such a twat, why didn't I have faith in myself that we would get to New York. In Kurt that he didn't want any of those other men in New York he wanted me. Why is it so clear to him now that Kurt had been speaking the sole truth when he said that he didn't want another man he wanted him. He'd been blind from the start basically he should have known that the only reason his parents had told him those things was that, they were hoping if he and Kurt spilt up that they still had a chance to turn him straight, it's all they tried to do since he came out to make him think it was his fault and his chose and just a phase. He'd lost the love of his life because of two people who wanted to make him into what they wanted and not what he wanted to be, how had he let it happen.

Blaine your such a fucking idiot he thought to himself again, you really were you can't even say that you made just one mistake you managed to fuck it up again not quite two years later. He had managed to get into NYU. He and Kurt had of course stayed friends when their relationship had ended just like the promised they never said goodbye to each other and kept regular contact. This contact had only increased once they were both back together once Blaine moved to New York. However he'd been so stupid, he'd been too scared Kurt would reject him, would have realised there were better people than him to dare to even try and restart there relationship as more than just friend. And god did it make him feel like an idiot, he should have known that Kurt was waiting so long in the hope that he would show him his feelings were still there. I should have known that after I finished it with him he wasn't just going to come out and say he still had those kind of feeling for him, he'd almost broken his heart why would he come out and say them. He'd had a feeling he did still have those kind of feelings though as he noticed that Kurt often acted very similar to the way he had at Dalton. The memories of the last time he and Kurt had actually talked properly came flooding back to him, that horrible evening just over 6 years ago, the last time he'd heard from Kurt until earlier that day. They had been out with Mark and a few other friends and Kurt was due to join them and he did, along with company.

"_Hey, guys you alright, I hope you don't mind but I've brought Jason from work with me"_

"_No Kurt of course we don't mind, the more the merrier hey" Mark chirped in already slightly tispy from the drinks he'd already put away._

_Everyone exchanged greetings with Jason and he had blended into the group pretty well._

_Later that night there were all sat down at the table and Jason had slipped one of his arms around Kurt's waist, lifted the other up to his face to turn it towards him, and gave him a chased kissed on the lips. Blaine had almost chocked on him beer. _

"_What the fuck Kurt are you to an item" he had said surprised and slightly angry_

"_Yes we have been for about a week now, but we just want to take things slowly, so we didn't think it needed to be wide wide public knowledge" Jason offered quickly_

"_So Kurt you didn't think it right to tell your friends you were in a relationship with this guy when you introduced him earlier" Blaine said angrily_

"_No I didn't Blaine I didn't think it was important, I thought it was important that you got to know him for him first and not just my boyfriend, and you can't exactly talk it was a good 3 weeks before we put out relationship out in the open" Kurt said annoyedly_

"_That was different Kurt it was a first for both of us so we were completely clueless, and both agreed it was best"_

"_Yes exactly what me a Jason did thankyou very much, we agreed it was best if people go to know him for him. So no its not different at all"_

"_So you don't think that we kind of had some right to know then as your 'best'" he spat out that word as if it didn't matter "friends, the people who have been here for you through everything"_

"_Blaine you haven't been here for me through everything, if I remember rightly you ended it with me just a week before I came to New York, to start Univestity, do you actually know what that did to me yes we stayed friend but you were my first boyfriend and you did kind of mean a lot"_

"_what do you mean did kind of mean a lot"_

"_Exactly what I said, you meant a lot as a boyfriend back then, but I'm with Jason now, you mean a lot to me as a friend now and a friend only, you made your choice"_

"_And you thought this was the best way for me to find out my ex is dating again, you didn't think of telling me first to protect my feelings?"_

"_What do you mean to protect your feelings, you broke up with me Blaine. I can't stay single forever to protect you from your feelings you know, maybe you should be looking for someone to stop you being so dam uptight and possesive"_

"_Well maybe I'm being possestive as I still having fucking feeling for you alright, made ive regretted that day back in Lima ever since the words came out of my mouth, maybe I wish me and you were still together about to celebrate our 3__rd__ year together"_

"_Well that's tough shit isn't it, I can't be expected to wait around for you forever to tell me you still had feelings for me, you've been in New York almost a year Blaine, you have long enough to do that. I will be honest when you came to New York I did believe you were going to say you still had feelings for me, but when after a month you hadn't well I learnt to live with that. I slowly started letting myself believe I could be with people other than you, and here I am I've found Jamie now, and you'll have to either accept it or get the fuck out as I'm not about to let you control me"_

_He couldn't stand to hear any more so he just stood up and walked out of the bar as fast as he could. I walked all the way home, and curled up on his bed in tears, he'd lost his chance, he'd been such an idiot for not acting sooner._

_Two weeks later he received texts for all other the people other than Jason that had been there that night and all were stupidly pissed off with him. It seemed that his actions had led to problems between Kurt and Jason and they weren't sure if they were staying together. It was the last thing he wanted, obviously he had wanted Kurt to be happy._

_Kurt's text had been the worst "I hate you so much right now, you finished with me and made me unhappy and when I finally get my first boyfriend after being with you, you fucking ruin that too. I would contact Mark and the gang for a while if I was you as they all hate your guts right now"_

_And that was the last bit of contact he had with Kurt until today, he had sent him a few messaged a few weeks later after he let things calm down but he got error messages so he just assumed that Kurt hated him too much to want to speak again, and to be honest he wasn't surprised. _

So yes all in all Blaine had pretty much managed to fuck everything up with Kurt not just once but twice. He was such a screw up. In a way it made it even harder to understand why at that very moment Kurt was lying on his bed, still blacked out from his panic attack.

I can never repair the damage I did during those few years, Blaine thought to himself, but I'm going to do everything I can to help Kurt get through whatever situation he's in right now, and maybe just maybe give friendship another go if Kurt was willing to let him.


	7. 7:We need to talk

**A/N I managed to just get this finished to upload today, but I've not even started on the next chapter so I cant promise the next will be up tomorrow, if it isn't it will be up the day after. Please review and let me know what you think :D **

Blaine was now facing a dilemma, Kurt was in his apartment lying on his bed, finally snoring having gone from being blacked out to being asleep, and Blaine himself was due at his gig in a few hours time. He wasn't sure he wasn't sure what, or how bad it was, but he was sure there was more to Kurt's situation that just what he had witnessed. He'd known Mark ever since morning to New York, Kurt had introduced them, Mark and Kurt had met during Kurt's first year of collage Mark's 3rd year. Blaine had seen him short tempered a few times, mainly when his friends has been slated or made to feel uncomfortable for any reason, but he'd never seem him like that, and hadn't actually thought it was possible for him to be like that. He also knew Kurt, perhaps better than he had ever known anyone else, and well this wasn't Kurt at all. Kurt had been through hell in high school what with coming out, and then his dad's heart attack and all his problems with Karofsky and the numerous other bullies and he always came back strong, so for him to be like this just wasn't right.

Blaine was torn this gig had been in the pipeline for months, he was slowing making a bigger break in the music industry which wasn't an easy thing. He was sure he would severally damage this if he didn't go, however Kurt was clearly broken and Blaine wasn't sure if he could actually leave him to go to the gig. He was just stuck. He was playing all the options over in his mind when his phone rang.

He spent over 15minutes on the phone to his agent explaining as little as he could while still getting the message across to her, and without making it too personal. He explained how much he wanted to do the gig, but that he'd let Kurt down enough times before and he couldn't and wouldn't do it again. She was actually very understanding, even more so than Blaine thought she would have been, and she gave him some good advice. She told Blaine he needed to talk to Kurt, as if he had ever mean as much to Kurt, as what Kurt had and clearly still did mean to him then she didn't think he would Blaine missing this for him. She told him that she thought that Kurt would know how much this would mean to Blaine. However is sounds from what you have said that he may be scared to be left alone, and I know it's not common place but if you want to still come tonight and you can convince him (if he even needs convincing) the he can come with you, and if he doesn't want to be in a audience he can stay back stage. She said she would pull a few strings and that she understood his situation but didn't want him to be what maybe his biggest chance in life.

Blaine decided that he needed to go and have another play, like he had earlier that morning, to clear his mind again. He was mindful that he also really needed to practise some of the songs he was due to perform tonight, many of which were his own work. Blaine was really able to lose himself in music. He was oblivious to that fact that after he'd been play for around half an hour, Kurt walked out of his bedroom and stood at the open door listening for at least 10minutes, not daring to interrupt him. Kurt finally managed to find the courage to knock on the door once, Blaine finished a song that Kurt didn't recognise. The shock made Blaine jump slightly he'd expected for Kurt to stay asleep a little bit longer. Instantly Kurt was almost in tears apologising "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Blaine, I didn't mean to I really am sorry" he was close to hyperventilating again.

"Kurt it's okay, don't panic please, I really don't want you blacking out again it's not at all good for you, I just wasn't expecting you to be up yet, and you know what I'm like when immersed in music. Please calm down, I don't know what's got you so worked up but it's ok, I promise. Now listen to me please, Breath IN…now Out, take back control over your breathing."

After a few minutes Kurt's breathing evened out and deepened. "That's better" Blaine said calmly "did you want something anyway, I'm guessing you did with the fact you knocked on the door, you didn't need to knock you know you could have just come in."

"Ok thank you er, yer yer, could I have a glass a water" Kurt said in a sheepish whisper.

"You don't need to ask to get water" Blaine sighed "do you want something else stronger like coffee and do you want me to fix you something to eat?"

"Coffee sounds great, but I'm not hungry thanks" Kurt side still very quietly.

"Okay come on, I could do with a break and a coffee as well, let's go a sit down in the kitchen shall we?"

Kurt nodded in response, if he'd have made Mark jump like that he would have been hit, or punched or kicked or something like that, but all Blaine did was offer him comfort. He couldn't understand why, he was glad Blaine had got him out of there this morning but that's all he had expected Blaine to do, and the left him to fend for himself. Kurt couldn't understand why Blaine was going this after the way they last parted all those years ago. Kurt felt himself well up and he began to sob silently. Blaine noticed instantly he'd seen this boy broken before, not as badly as this but he'd seen it, he knew he was crying. He walked slowly but purposefully over to Kurt and stood in front of him to clearly make his presence known. Then he gently took his hand in a gentle touch that Kurt could have pulled out of had he wished to. When he didn't Blaine began to speak "I don't know exactly what had happened to you, but I know this isn't you Kurt, but I do know you well enough to know you most certainly need a coffee right now, come one"

Blaine placed two cups of coffee down on the breakfast bar before sitting down on a stool next to Kurt. They sat in silence for a while both occasionally taking sips of coffee. _'how does Blaine still know how to make coffee so perfectly for me, he's always been one of the few people who can make me a perfect cup of coffee' _Kurt thought to himself. After a while Blaine broke the silence "We need to talk Kurt" he said slowly, Kurt froze in instant horror. It took Blaine a few moments to realise why "Oh no Kurt not about that don't worry, that's something you have to decide if and when to tell me, if you want to speak out it I'm here but if you don't I also understand that and I would never push you. But we do need to talk, kind of about me and this evening if that's okay? Again Kurt could only nod his head in response. "Well you know I studied music and English and NYU. Well I have a job in the business sector because as you know music isn't the easiest of professions to just go straight into. Well it doesn't mean I haven't been trying and well tonight I'm meant to have my biggest gig ever, it could be my change to make a proper break."

"What do you mean you meant to" Kurt interjected quietly.

"Well, I know you may not like me saying this but, you like so broken, I brought you here passed out, you woke up screaming, in what I can only describe as pure fear, you had a panic attack while lying in my arms, by choice, then you almost had another just because you made me jump, then you cried because I offered to make you coffee, and I know that isn't you Kurt. It don't know if I can go to the gig, know that something's wrong, wondering if you'll have a panic attack or wake up screaming with no one here." Blaine said honestly.

"Blaine I appreciate your concern but cannot chose not to go because of me, I couldn't live with that" he paused before continuing "I'll be fine on my own for a few hours" the second half of the sentence was far from convincing.

"Kurt that wouldn't convince a child let alone me. I can tell you won't be alright, so I've got two choices for you. I spoke to my agent earlier" Kurt gave Blaine a worried look "don't worry I didn't go into much detail, well anyway she said she can pull some strings and you can come, either in the audience or back stage. Or you can stay here, and I understand if you need to, but if that's the case I'm staying here too."

"Well I know what you are like and I know you won't give me any other options, and I won't let you give up a chance like this just to stay here to look after 26 year old me. So I have no choice but to come but I don't think I can be in the audience not with so many people, is that ok?"

"Yes of course it will be, thank you, let me ring my agent and let her know, now will you please drink that coffee it will help you with those shakes" Kurt hadn't even realised he was trembling slightly.

Kurt spent the whole of the gig backstage he could face being in large groups of people easily anymore. Blaine quickly checked in on him during the interval. The whole evening made Kurt realise how much he had really missed hearing Blaine sing he had such natural and raw talent.

Once they arrived back at Blaine's apparently, after much refusal from Kurt who tried to get Blaine to let him go to a motel. Kurt simply said "Your voice is amazing as ever and you'll get somewhere you know, I really believe you will."

Blaine insisted that Kurt took the bed. Kurt tried to convince Blaine otherwise for 15 minutes before having to admit he was too tired to try and get Blaine to listen to him, and had to go to bed. He thanks Blaine profusely for helping him, and apologized for being such trouble.

After going into his bedroom to wake a screaming Kurt, from what he could only gage to be nightmares, and offering a presence and comfort he decided it may be easier if he just slept on the floor near the bed. This way he could be a physical presence constantly in the room and he could get to Kurt quicker next time he started screaming.

However Blaine awoke the next morning slightly surprised. The sunlight was streaming through his curtains and it made it clear it was early in the day. He was shocked and pleasantly surprised to realise that his presence in that room last night how at least allowed Kurt to get a few unbroken hours sleep.


	8. 8:Deeply wrong

**A/N I don't know how but I managed to get another chapter done. You may not get an update until satuarday now though as I have an important exam on Friday so most of tomorrow will be taken up with revicing but the story line for next chapter is pretty much there already. I Hope you like this chapter love reading your thoughts and reviews :D**

It was the next day that Blaine really knew that there was deeply something wrong with Kurt, and to be honest he didn't actually want to believe it could be worse than he originally thought.

Since Kurt was still asleep when Blaine woke up Blaine decided to make Kurt and himself some breakfast, especially Kurt seeing as he hadn't eaten for the whole of the day before. Half way through the cooking Kurt had stumbled into the Kitchen half asleep, but fully clothed with hair not an inch out of place. Blaine knew that the only thing that got him out of it was a good cup of coffee.

Blaine knew Kurt probably wouldn't be too happy but he made him a full fry up, Blaine thought he could do with gaining a few pounds anyway, he felt and looked a lot slimmer than he used to and he used to have a slim figure as it was. They both ate silently for a while until Blaine decided to break the tension and make small talk, about what Kurt was doing for work, as the last thing he had known Kurt was studying a joint major in the Arts and fashion.

"Oh, I work for a small fashion company, designing they seem to like my work quite a lot, most doesn't get made into actual lines, but quite a few are used on the catwalk so it pays pretty well, I've done a few minor roles on broad way, nothing major yet but it's a start, getting my name out there and noticed you know. And to be honest that's a start when I sound like this, it isn't exactly best for most male roles."

"No but it's what made you you Kurt, it's what got you in to NYADA in the first place, and soon enough it will do even more for you it will get you that lead on Broadway I know it will. Have faith in yourself, your amazing Kurt." Blaine replied with total honesty.

"Thanks Blaine I do wonder sometimes but you know me I won't give up."

"I'm glad to hear it. Do you fancy another coffee, you still don't look fully awake."

"Yes go on, and no I'm not it still takes at least three coffees to get me going properly, and I'll make a start on the washing up."

"You've not changed one bit Kurt. And no you don't need to do the washing up I'll do it, go and sit in the living room, and relax, or if you still play there's the piano if you want to play, I'll bring the coffee through to you."

"Yes both those things sound nice and are both things I'll consider doing later, but the least I can do to say thank you for what you've done for me. Oh and before I forget here I want you to have this" Kurt took his wallet out of his pocket, and pulled at a handful of dollars" and handed them towards Blaine.

"No way Kurt, you know I will not accept that, I've had you here as a friend and you know I would have done the same for anyone of our friends, so you know I won't let you give me that. I did this because I wanted you to be safe, so please put that away and stop being silly. But I will let you do the washing up if it means that much to you." Blaine was kind of flabbergasted he hasn't expected Kurt to try and pay him for letting him stay with him. He was doing it as a friend.

Blaine went about making another coffee and Kurt started on the washing up and that's when it all happened.

SMASH.

Blaine's back had been to Kurt so he hadn't been expecting it but he knew it would just be an accident. He turned round to see Kurt frozen. He waited a few seconds exepecting Kurt to apologize or something not that it really mattered. However just he stood there frozen to the spot unable to move.

Blaine slowly moved towards Kurt, horror flew through Kurts eyes.

"Kurt" Blaine said softly.

"Please Blaine I'm sorry, don't please don't, it was an accident, please just don't. I'm sorry. Please don't, I'll fix it now I'm sorry." Kurt pretty much feel to his knees and started picking up the broken pieces with his hands.

Blaine didn't exactly know what was going on, but he knew it had something to do with why Kurt had been acting so scared the previous day. He sunk s down very very slowly in front of Kurt; he did it so slowly so not to scare him anymore. "Kurt stop please" Blaine said slowly but clearly. He moved his hand both slowly forward to take Kurt's wrists and hold them still, he was careful not to hold to tight however. At this point a few things happened, Kurt tried to move backwards in pure fear, he also screamed "NO" and Blaine noticed the awful purple and black bruises on each of his wrists. Kurt's wrists were pulled out of Blaine's hand and he was cowering in the corner exactly how Blaine has seen him with Mark the day before. This it hit Blaine like a tonne of bricks, what he had witnessed yesterday, hadn't been the first time Mark had laid a finger on Kurt. Blaine felt all the colour leave his body. He didn't know how bad it was but he was sure that this whole thing was much deeper than he knew. He stayed where he was and began to speak in a very low and comforting tone. "Kurt. Its ok I'm not going to hurt you, if you feel better I will stay here away from you. I was only trying to stop you picking that up with you bare hands I have a sweeping brush and a hoover which do that job perfectly. I didn't want you hurting yourself. Why did you feel you had to do it that way? Why didn't you ask for a sweeping brush or something? I understand if you can't answer me, but I want to make one thing clear, "I'm not angry, and I most certainly am not going to hurt you for breaking a glass."

Silence filled the room, Blaine stayed perfectly still so as not to make Kurt think he was going so much as touch him, Kurt had his head down, knees pulled to his chest his arms wrapped tightly round himself, and was rocking very gentle backwards and forwards, if you weren't looking closely you wouldn't have realised he was moving. After a few minutes Kurt realised that maybe Blaine was actually concerned about him and not, as Mark would have tried to beat the living crap out him. He took his arms slowly from around himself and moved them towards Blaine, palms facing upwards.

Blaine was partially confused, partially understand, but mostly filled with horror by what he saw. On Kurt's hands were at least a dozen fairly deep cuts, they looked fresh but not fresh enough to have been caused just then. He still didn't move he composed himself for a few seconds before asking "Kurt did you get them doing something similar to what you just tried to do just now?"

Kurt nodded slowly not daring to look at Blaine, not waiting to know how weak he thought Kurt was, Kurt knew it would all show in his face. Blaine was shocked deeply, he didn't expect any of this for a second. He knew why Kurt wasn't looking at him, he knew Kurt was ashamed of himself but he didn't know why. He knew this wasn't Kurt fault, and he guessing if he still knew Kurt right, that Kurt thought that he's think Blaine thought him to be weak. So he said gently "Kurt look at me please" and let it at that, he looked softly towards Kurt, pure concern on his face, not disgust or anger or anything pure concern and worry for this man who had, and if he was honest with himself still did, mean so much to him. Kurt moved his head up slowly, he was still scared that Blaine would do something to hurt him if he didn't do what he asked, he knew he was probably being very irrationally but he couldn't shake the feeling off from deep down. He was shocked by the look on Blaine's face a few times before, one of which was when he had learnt Karofsky had threatened his life; he knew that there wasn't anything in his mind but concern and worry. He let out a breath he didn't even realise he'd been holding in, and he relaxed slighty and stopped rocking. Blaine smiled at him, and Kurt broke he couldn't keep it in any longer he knew Blaine wouldn't judge him, and he couldn't keep it all in any longer. He broke down crying, he crawled slowly towards Blaine and placed his head in the space between his neck and his shoulder, the place that had comforted him many times before, and he just cried, more that he had ever cried before.

* * *

**A/N Also can someone tell me in a review if we ever see Blaine play guitar in glee if so when, as someone i know told me they are sure he did but they cant remember when, and im not sure if he did or didnt.**


	9. 9:He wanted to kill him

**A/N I am really sorry this has taken so long to update. I had writers block and the chapter just didn't seem to want to write itself the way I wanted. I knew what I wanted to happen, but the wording just wouldn't come. But it's here now I hope you like it please review and let me know what you think. **

Blaine had let Kurt cry for a few minutes before he asked for permission to pick Kurt up. He didn't want him to be like this sat on the cold floor of his kitchen which was also still full of glass.

They were on the sofa Kurt still clinging tightly to Blaine, huge sobs still ripping though his body. Blaine had to admit it was killing him; he never wanted to see this boy like this. What felt worse was he didn't know why it was so bad, so he couldn't promise Kurt that everything was going to be ok, as he couldn't be sure it was himself. He knew that at times like this Kurt liked soothing circles rubbing into his back. Blaine very slowly moved his hand to rest on Kurt's back. He waited a while to check it didn't alarm Kurt before he started to move in the way he knew Kurt loved. He couldn't help himself the boy that he had loved more than anything in the world was clearly very scared.

Blaine wanted nothing more than to be able to take all that pain away from him. He wanted to be able to hold him even closer and tell him that he would always be there for him and that he loved him. Tell Kurt that he would never let anyone hurt him again but he couldn't. After around half an hour on the sofa the sobs coming from Kurt seemed to slow down and his movements seems less erratic. Blaine decided he would try and get Kurt to talk but respect him if he didn't want to.

"Kurt I understand if you can't tell me, but what I saw Mark doing yesterday that wasn't the first time he had hurt you was it?" Kurt shook his head so gently if Blaine hadn't been expecting the movement he wouldn't have noticed it.

"I didn't think so after what just happened in there. Do you think you would be able to explain anything to me at all? You dropping that glass seemed to trigger everything do you think you could tell me why. If you can't' I understand, but I want you to know I am not here to judge you I just want you to feel safe."

"I…I…I can try." Kurt's voice was almost inaudible, what with a mixture of how quietly he was speaking and the fact he was speaking directly into Blaine's neck.

"As I said Kurt I am not going to make you do anything, tell me as much or as little as you feel able to. I am here to listen for as long as you want me to. Also tell me if you need time or space and I will give you whatever you need." Blaine said he really did want to know what was wrong with Kurt but he wasn't going to push him, he was distraught enough as it was.

"Just please don't let go of me right now. I…I…I feel safe in your arms. If I am to have any hope of telling you anything I need to feel safe. However I understand if you don't feel like you can keep holding me, so don't feel obliged to."

"Kurt if what you need right now is to be held, and comforted then I am happy to do that. I want you to feel as comfortable as possible. I hate seeing you so broken; this isn't the Kurt I'm used to seeing."

"Right well things happened earlier in the morning on the day I sent you those text messages. The reason I didn't name them was because I was scared you would run a mile if you knew they were from me. Mark had been out drinking, I told him before he left I'd do the last bits of cleaning up in the flat. Well I don't know how but I fell asleep on the sofa before I had finished. His judgement was clearly clouded by alcohol, and well he got angry. He…he pulled me to standing by my hair." Blaine wanted to flip just from knowing this, and he had a feeling it was going to get a lot worse. He knew that he had to stay calm for Kurt. He knew this couldn't be at all easy for him. "I didn't want to give him any reason to start of fight. So I told him I would get everything finished before joining him in bed." Kurt shuddered at the word bed, which Blaine instantly more worried, Kurt loved his sleep. "Well he didn't give me chance to move before he was pushing me in the direction of the kitchen. There were a few pots that hadn't been done, and I knew it was this that had made him so annoyed. Well I started on the washing up, and just like I did just now doing you washing up I somehow managed to drop a glass. You will understand in a minute why I acted the way I did and I'm sorry for that.

Blaine decided to interrupt Kurt at this point; he didn't want him to be apologizing for anything none of this seems like it was his fault. "Kurt you have no reason to be sorry ok, from what I am hearing you are not to fault for any of this."

"Okay but I am still sorry. Well Mark was in the kitchen like a shot yelling at the top of his voice. Well I tried to go and get the dust pan and brush to clean it up and the second I took a step forward he slapped me." With this Kurt started to sob again very lightly, but he continued talking. "He forced me to the floor, and well he…he. Blaine he told me I was messed up because my mother hadn't been around to bring me up." Blaine knew how much Kurt mother meant to him so he understood why Kurt was so upset by this and why he was crying so much he was close to making himself sick. He knew he had to help Kurt gain back the control over his body. "Kurt listen to me, you are not messed up, your mother would be so dam proud of you right now. You made it to NYADA; you grew up into a real man, and showed many others how to be real men. You have been through so much in your life, and you always come out the other side with compassion. If anyone was going to make their mother proud it would be you. You need to try and calm down for me; you are going to make yourself poorly otherwise. So please for me, try and take some nice slow and deep breaths." I took a while but slowly but surely Kurt's breaths started to even out. Blaine held Kurt even tighter if that was even physically possible.

"Thank you, you just, well you know you know how much my mom means to me, and for him to say this, it killed me inside. I haven't let myself think about it much until now as I knew it would just be too painful. Well what he said made me freeze, and I let a single tear fall from my eye. I never let myself cry around Mark so it shows just what it did to me. Well I obviously was frozen too long for his liking. He placed his foot on my back and pushed me down, obviously I had been right next to the glass and my hands slipped forward into it. That's why I have those Kurt on my hands. It's why I did what I did in your kitchen. The second that glass left my hands I was back in my kitchen, I could only image you as him. That's why I froze and tried to clear the glass up the way I did. Then I knew you had seen the bruises on my wrists and I hate to think what you think of me for them."

"Kurt I understand, I really do. I don't blame you for breaking that glass, accidents happen. You know how clumsy I can be. I must say Kurt seeing those bruises did fill me with horror, not towards you, but towards to the things that may have caused them."

"Are you really sure you want to know how I got them, as I can promise you, you won't like it. You may want to lose it, but if I am to tell you I need your word that you will not. I just, I just can't be dealing with that right now. I feel safe here right now and if you lose it that will be gone."

"Kurt I would like to know yes. As I know only two well bruises of that kind are not your everyday bruise. Yes I know how easily you bruise but even for you they are something else. Again don't feel obliged to tell me. Tell me because you want to. If you do tell me, I promise you I won't let go of you until you ask me to, and I will not lose it."

Kurt took a few deep breaths trying to summon the courage to finish what he had started. "Well I continued to clean up the kitchen and hover up the living room. He was getting more and more violent, I was slapped some more, I was pushed into the kitchen worktop among other things. Once I was finished he basically ordered me into the bedroom and to get ready for bed. Well like an idiot I obeyed him. He made it clear what he wanted once we got into the bedroom, I told him that I didn't want to. And well because I said no he…he" there was a long pause Kurt didn't think he was actually going to be able to get the words out of his mouth. Blaine pulled Kurt in tighter he had a feeling he knew what was coming next but he hoped to god he was wrong. The next thing he knew it came out of Kurt's mouth almost too fast to understand. "He raped me" the second the words were out, Kurt was back to be a sobbing broken mess.

Blaine had never been filled with so much rage in his life, and to not be able to act on it, took every ounce of self control Blaine had. Mark had raped, raped, Kurt. The same Kurt he knew would never do any harm to anyway. How the hell could anyone do that to Kurt, he had always been the fragile type, especially Mark the man who was meant to love Kurt. Blaine would love nothing more than to go and kill Mark right that second and yes he really did mean physically kill. But Blaine knew that at the very moment, Kurt needed him. Kurt needed to be with someone who he knew wouldn't hurt him. He needed to be held close, and he needed to feel loved, wanted and protected. And Blaine was going to try his hardest to make Kurt feel all of them things


	10. 10:Holding back

**A/N - Really am sorry how long this fic has taken me to update. I've just finished some very important exams and it had to take priority over writing. Now i have finished i am hoping i will be able to update this fic much more frequently. Hope you enjoy, and i will try and get the next chapter up in the next few days. Please keep reviewing.**

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Blaine didn't know how he'd managed to do it. Everything seemed slightly out of focus since the words "He raped me" had come out of Kurt's mouth. However somehow he had managed to convince Kurt he needed to tell the police. Blaine told Kurt that he fully understood if he didn't want to tell them everything, but he had to tell them about the stuff that had happened when he was there. Blaine said that this way he would be able to be a witness. So here they were at the police station waiting for someone to take statements.

"Mr Hummel?" A middle aged officer said.

"Yes that's me"

"Ok, would you mind coming with me. I'm officer Deakin and I will be taking your statement from you. Your friend can wait out here and another officer will take him to get his statement as soon as one is free."

"No…No…No. I can't be on my own. No, I can't do this."

"Kurt you need to calm down for me please. You know why you need to do this. I promise I will be here when you come out. Other than to make my statement I will stay right here."

"No Blaine I can't. I can't say any of it again without you being there. Please don't make me."

The officer stopped them both at this point knowing that they were getting nowhere. "Right how about this. If I say you friend, Blaine was it sir, can come in with you while you give us the back ground information. He will then have to leave when you give the part of the statement that he is part. Do you think you will be able to do it that way?"

Kurt nodded slowly. He knew he would find it easier to begin talking with Blaine there. He didn't know why, but after all these years he still felt safe with Blaine.

10minutes later they were sat in an interview room.

"Right Mr Hummel, can I please know the full name of the person the accusations you are about to tell me are about?"

"Markus James Barnes" Kurt was gripping tightly to Blaine's hand. He knew that the questions where going to get harder to answer. However while he could he needed a comforting touch, and he was getting this from Blaine.

"His address?"

"The same as mine."

"Can I ask what your relationship to Markus is?"

"Yes he is my boyfriend. He has been for just over 5 years."

"Ok and you both went into the relationship by your own choices?"

"Yes we did. We were friends for a while before we got together. We met when I was in my first year of university."

"That is good to here. So this isn't a forced relationship we are dealing with. May I ask what your relationship to Mr Anderson here is?"

"Yes he is a good friend of mine. I have been staying at his to let things at home settle down. We have known each other since high school. He also happened to be the one that saved me from what happened."

"Thank you. Now I know the background I am going to have to ask if Mr Anderson can leave us for a while. You need to both make statements on exactly what happened. You cannot do that together in case you change facts to make them agree with what the other said. From what you have seen you are getting a lot of support and strength from Mr Anderson, so if it is ok with both of you we will put him through there. That way if you need support you will be able to look over and see him, but unable to communicate. Is that ok Mr Hummel?" Again Kurt just nodded he knew this was when he was going to really struggle. He'd never told anyone any of this before Blaine. No he was going to have to tell a complete stranger without the support of Blaine.

"Blaine can I have a hug before you go?" Kurt whispered, it was so quite it was only just audible. Blaine obliged and stood up and wrapped his arms tightly around Kurt.  
"Kurt everything will be fine I promise. I will be just through there. Take your time; nobody is going to force you to do anything you are not comfortable with. I will be sat in there so you will be able to see me. One word I told you many years ago 'courage'." With that Blaine stood up and allowed one of the two officers to escort him into the next door room.

If he was being honest Blaine was in a way grateful to be able to have a word with one of the officers without Kurt there. No, he didn't like leaving him so scared, but there was a few things he needed to tell the officer separate to his statement.

"I was wondering if I could tell you a few things before you have to go back in there. It's not to do with the events of what happened so it probably won't need to be in my statement but I think It may be useful to know before Mr Hummel gives you his statement."

The officer gave Blaine a sceptical look, but eventually replied. "Yes you may but I need you to be as quick as possible please."

"Ok thank you very much. Right it has taken me a few days to convince him to come here. He is scared stiff he is one of them people that stays strong for a long time and then breaks all at once. However as he said we have been friends since high school. I will be honest for a year and a half during high school we dated each other. It wasn't a too messy break up or anything, but after a while we lost contact. Well I hadn't heard from him for 6 years, we had an argument and well just broke contact. However when we first met back in high school I helped him with a lot of things. Back then he held things back a lot, and it took me a long time to get him to open up fully. From what I saw of him when he told me what had happened he isn't fully letting go. I know you might think I'm crazy but we've always been able to read each other like books. There is something, or things that he isn't saying. All I will say is that he will withdrawn if forced to say anything he isn't ready to. I'm not saying he is going to lie to you far from it, but if you ask me there is going to be bits that maybe left out." Blaine felt guilty here. When he had managed to convince Kurt to go to the police he told them he didn't have to tell them about the _rape._ To be honest he doesn't want to think about the word. However this isn't what he was talking about. Yes he could read Kurt like a book and something in his eyes told Blaine there was more that he wasn't telling him. He wasn't going to push Kurt to tell him any of it, but he knew it was there.

"I just thought I would let you know, as it may be worth making a note somewhere so that if he does feel like he can tell anybody the rest then it's still possible for him to. Sorry to have rambled on for so long but I just thought it was important for you to know."

"Mr Anderson thank you for being open and honest with us, and I will keep it all in mind during our interview with Mr Hummel, and make sure the information is passed onto my supervisor. May I ask you what he confided in you back then to make you feel this situation is the same?"

"Yes. He was the only openly gay person at his high school, and he was being bullied badly for it. He came to my Private school to spy on us for a glee club thing, but that's another story. Well he confided in me that he was being bullied. He didn't tell me much that first day but slowly I learned more and more. Each time we spoke until I knew everything, he had the same look in his eye as he did when he was talking to me earlier today. However I do understand if that isn't enough for you to go on, to believe what I am saying."

The officer nodded. "Thank you once again. If you stay in here as we said Mr Hummel will be able to see you. Please do not try and talk to him in any way. Once he has finished his statement you will be taken in there to give yours, and if Mr Hummel still feels it necessary to be in close proximity to you then he can come in here so he can still have some form of visual contact with you at all times."

"Okay thank you very much." Blaine replied. He was glad that they had got two such understanding officers that had allowed Kurt to be able to see him constantly throughout this. Once the officer left the room Blaine let out a sigh. Yes he knew Kurt was keeping things from him. He wanted to know what, as he wanted to stop Kurt being so broken. At the same time however Blaine was sure the things were about Mark, and he wasn't sure if he would be able to learn much more without having to act on the want to kill the man.


	11. 11: Happy and Sassy Kurt

Sorry this has taken so long. So much has been going on, the beta from my other story can no longer beta so I don't have a beta at all. So I'm trying to get these stories the best I can without one at the moment. I have also been away on holiday which was much needed so well yes that's why this took so long. I hope that the next chapter will be up within a week

It had been a long day. Both Blaine and Kurt were exhausted. Blaine was glad he had convinced Kurt to go to the police but he knew that it would be emotional. He also knew that it would mean things potentially getting worse before they got better. The allegations against Mark would lead to him getting arrested, but they were told very clearly that he would easily be allowed bail. They got back to Blaine's fairly late on Sunday evening. Blaine decided he would order take away as he knew Kurt needed to eat and to be honest he couldn't be bothered to cook. Kurt insisted on paying saying it was the least he could do to thank Blaine for everything he was doing for him.

They were both sat down on the couch eating Chinese. Blaine was pleased to see Kurt seemed to be eating it pretty readily. However he knew he needed to have another conversation with Kurt that he may not like.

"Kurt. Do you need to be in work tomorrow? As I know you may not like me saying this but personally I really don't think you in the right state of mind to be going in. I mean you have cuts on your hand, and bruises on your arms, you've been hit on the head. Do you really think it's going to be the best thing for you?"

"Yes I am due in work tomorrow. I am due to do some important work finishing off some designs for a show next month. Plus I can't afford to miss work, Mark need the wages in his account on time so he can pay for the flat."

Blaine almost choked on his dinner. "Say what? Did you just tell me that Mark needs the money in _his_ account to pay for the flat? Please tell me you mean that everything goes into a joint account."

Kurt didn't reply for a second wondering how much to tell Blaine. He decided that this wasn't any worse than the conversation that morning so that he would be honest. "No Blaine that isn't what I mean. Everything goes into Mark's bank account. I earn the most so it pays the majority of the bills. Then from that Mark will transfer a percentage of what's left that I am free to do what I want with."

"I'm sorry Kurt but no. Just no. It may have been the way it worked during your relationship, but after what he did to you can I please make a request. It's a request so I will understand if you say no, but hear me out before making a decision. When I knew you back in high school, you always prided yourself on your freedom, and that included your money. You worked in your dad's tyre shop so that you could get money that was rightfully yours, and you did with it what you wanted. To me for you to be letting everything to go straight to Mark and not into a joint account doesn't seem right. Will you let me ring up your work and tell them to make sure that your wages do not touch that bank this month, and tell them you are taking a few days off? I promise I will not tell them any more details that you want, but I just know this isn't you Kurt."

Kurt sat quietly for a good five minutes playing the options over in his mind. "Why are you doing this for me Blaine? I mean I'm an adult as are you and I've made my bed and surely I should lie in it."

"I am doing this, because one I know it's not you. Two you are my friend and I would say the same to any of them. If there boyfriend or girlfriend did that, they should not be the one paying for a joint flat that they are not in."

"I really do want to say yes. I know that if I go into work they are going to know something is wrong with me. They all seem to have a sixth sense. What if I lose the flat, what if I lose my stuff. What if…just what if…oh never mind. No."

"Kurt this will be the last thing I say on the matter. But is the real reason your saying no because you are scared of what Mark's reaction is going to be?"

Blaine knew the answer when a single tear fell down Kurt's face. He placed his dinner on the coffee table, before doing the same with Kurt's. He opened his arms gesturing he wanted to give Kurt a hug before saying "May I?" Kurt nodded so with this Blaine wrapped his arms slowly and gently around Kurt to try and offer support.

"Kurt, I know it must be so hard, but you know the police are involved now. They are your wages. Once he has been arrested and put on bail he won't be able to contact you. That will have happened before your wages don't go into that bank. If I'm being truly honest I don't think you're in the right frame of mind to be left of your own for a few days. Well I have actually got the next week off, I had some holiday that needed using up, so I decided I would use it to write some more songs. If you agree I will ring up your work, sort out your wages and getting you a few days off. Then we can try and do whatever you need to start recovering. How does that sound. If it's possible and would have the decision, I will go to work and get your designs for you to do here."

"Yes…yes please. Your right I wouldn't be in the right frame of mind in work anyway. Are you sure I'm not going to be in the way of your song writing on anything?"

"No of course you're not. Thank you Kurt, I know this is what you need. Also why we're talking do you need to let your dad, Carole or anyone know you're here? Will Mark have contacted them, or will they have tried to contact you."

"No...No its fine, they won't know I'm not at home. I don't want to worry my dad you know." Kurt felt immensely guilty for not being able to be honest with Blaine, but being honest would open a big can of worms. The truth was he hadn't spoken to his Dad and Carole for over two years. For all he knew his Dad could have had another heart attack. Yes he would tell Blaine at some point, but he wasn't ready for him to know the full extent of his problems with Mark yet.

Blaine nodded he knew Kurt's dad had had a heart attack the year Kurt moved to Dalton. "Okay, well let's eat dinner. It's been a long day and I don't know about you, but I am ready for sleep."

"Yes. Yes I am, can I ask you a favour. Can I sleep on the floor of your room tonight I don't want to be alone, things seem worse in there on my own."

"No Kurt" at this Kurt's face fell "oh no Kurt I don't mean it that way. I mean no, you can't sleep on the floor. I understand why you don't want to be alone, but please let me sleep on the floor and you have the bed. "

"If you are sure then thank you Blaine."

"Of course I am Kurt. I hate seeing you so broken. I really mean it; you are not yourself at all. I just want to see the old Kurt. The happy, sassy Kurt I remember from high school." Kurt had to laugh at this; yes he had been very sassy back in high school.


	12. 12:Why hadn't Kurt told him

A/N After abandoning you guys for so long i thought i would treat you to another chapter already. I can't promise the rest will come this quickly but i promise i wont give up on this fic until its complete :D

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Blaine had been worried about Kurt when he first got him to his apartment, and found out what mark had done the morning of that text. However two weeks later he didn't know whether to be more or less worried. Okay yes Kurt was slowly coming out of his shell he wasn't asking for permission to do everything and he wasn't flinching at every loud noise. He had gone back to work two days ago, Blaine wasn't whole on board with that, however he understood that Kurt had an important show coming up so he needed to get back to the office. However what made Blaine concerned what that in the two weeks Kurt had been living with him he hadn't contacted his Dad once. When Kurt had been boarding at Dalton he had called Burt at least 3 times a week. Blaine believe that Kurt would have kept that up especially living so far away from his father now. Everyone know what Burt having a heart attack did to Kurt and knew Kurt wouldn't forgive himself if anything happened to his Dad. Blaine didn't feel good about what he was about to do but he didn't feel like he had much of a choice.

The phone rang and Blaine hoped that the owner of the phone was still the same.

"_Hello Finn Hudson speaking. May I ask whose calling?"_

"Hello Finn its Blaine."

"_Blaine?"_

"Anderson"

"_Oh god Blaine I'm sorry it's been so long I didn't recognise your voice. Not that I'm trying to shrug you off or anything why are you calling. I haven't spoken to you in what 5 or so years?"_

"I erm..um…I need Burt's number."

"_I um I don't really think you do need Burt's number Blaine."_

"Right Finn I really really do, I wouldn't ask if I didn't.I need to ring so Kurt can talk to him."

Finns voice raised to a pitch Blaine didn't even believe was possible for him. _"You have Kurt with you? Give me your number and I'll get Burt to call you."_

Blaine didn't understand why Finn got so excited when Kurt had been mentioned but he went along with it and gave Finn his number. Not even 5 minutes later his phone was ringing. He didn't even have a chance to speak before Burt started

_"Kurt is that you?"_

"Ur No Mr Hummel it's Blaine."

_"It's Burt Kiddo, but may I ask where is Kurt?"_

"He's at work Mr…Burt."

_"What do you mean he's at work? How do you know he's at work? I don't know anything so how do you the person who broke his heart all those years ago?"_

"Right Mr Hummel calm down. I know because he is living with me at the moment and what do you mean you don't know anything."

_"Right I apprechiate you calling, but if Kurt is living with you you know exactly what I mean so don't play stupid with me."_

"No Mr Hummel, I really don't know what you mean. Kurt's only been here two weeks. I know when he was at Dalton he phone you all the time, and I haven't heard him call you once. So I took my chances to get your number to make sure he rang you tonight."

Burt half sobbed, half scoffed and half laughed at this. _"My son wouldn't have called me or had contact with any of us back in Lima in what about to and a half years."_

Now it was Blaine's turn to scoff "Did you just tell me your son. The same Kurt Hummel who rang you constantly at Dalton hasn't called you for over two years?"

_"Yes why?"_

"Oh it's just when I asked him if he wanted to call you he said he wouldn't know he wasn't at home."

_"No that's true we don't even know where his home is Blaine. He cut contact and we tried visiting his old place but he wasn't there anymore his phone number had changed." Burt sounded like he was almost crying now. "And then you ring me telling me my son who I haven't spoken to in two years is living at your house, and that he's alive, and safe."_

"Well as safe as he can be Burt."

_"What does that mean Blaine?"_

"All I can say is that he is safe now. However I promised I wouldn't tell anyone anything without his permission. I know you may want to strangle me right now but I've broken promises to your son too many times before. I can't do it again." Now Blaine was crying it was true he really had and he'd do anything to take all those times back. He knew he couldn't so he was going to try and start making it right from now.

_"Blaine…Blaine its ok I understand. My main concerns are over he is alive and I know where he is. Can you do me two things one try and get Kurt to ring me tonight and send me a text if he won't and two give me an address so I can write to him if he won't talk?" _And Burt didn understand. Yes Blaine had broken Kurt's heart but he could tell by the way Blaine was talking now he still had deep feelings for Kurt.

And Blaine did, he didn't want to upset Kurt but at the same time he couldn't refuse Burt. He knew from the way Burt sounded that he wasn't angry at himself or Kurt. But while he was relieved to hear Kurt was safe it was clear he was still very worried about him. So he obliged and gave Burt his address, hoping in a way it wouldn't be needed.

_"Thank you so much Blaine. Tell him that I'm not angry at him. That I love him and I'm just so glad he's safe. These last few years have been hell for me."_

"I will do Burt. How are you? I know Kurt and when he knows I've spoken to you he will either be mad at me, or bombard me to know how you are."

_"I'm well Blaine, keeping to the diet he made for me after I had my heart attack. I don't have to go for check-ups anywhere near as frequently anymore; they don't think I'm at high risk anymore. So yes good, even better now I know where Kurt is. Thank you Blaine."_

"My pleasure Mr Hummel, I'm sure we will speak again soon. Bye."

_"Goodbye Blaine and its Burt."_

Now Blaine really was worried. Why hadn't Kurt told him it had been two years since he'd spoken to his Dad? Why had Kurt stopped contact with his Dad in the first place? He definitely wouldn't have expected that from Kurt. On top of all this there was a nagging thought eating away at him. Surely Mark couldn't be behind this. Sure Kurt would have go against anyone who tried to stop him contacting his family.


	13. 13: I'm really not ready

**A/N: This seems to be back on a role. Hopefully I will have the next chapter up for you within a week. Let me know what you guys think**

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Blaine had spent the rest of the day thinking about how to approach the new information he had learnt from Burt with Kurt. He knew he needed to find out why his friend had been so distant and why he hadn't contacted his own Father in so long and then proceeded to lie about this. He wasn't looking forward to the conversation and he was scared Kurt would view what he had done as Blaine misplacing his trust. However he needed answer. So many thoughts were running through his head and he needed to get rid of them with the truth before he turned himself crazy.

Blaine decided that he would make a proper roast dinner for Kurt and himself and make sure they both ate properly before he brought up the conversation. Even after two weeks living with him Kurt still seemed pretty thin, and didn't eat no was near as much as Blaine would like.

True to his word Blaine cooked as roast Chicken dinner which by impeccable timing was finished just as Kurt walked through the door from work. They spent the entire meal talking about work. Blaine said a few things about how his job in the office had been the past week, boring as ever it always was, and how he just hoped after his gig a few weeks before he would pick up in popularity in the music world. However mainly Blaine let Kurt talk about the fashion show that he had coming up in two weeks time. Blaine knew how important the show was for Kurt. In the fashion industry being in a show like Kurt was showed that you have some real talent. Blaine knew Kurt had talent, but this would should the fashion world Kurt had talent. So Kurt rambled about his designs and his models and many other aspects of the show. It was much to Blaine delight that Kurt also ate all of the dinner that was placed on his plate. Blaine's plan to cook Kurt's favourite had worked a treat. However that didn't stop the worry he felt at the impending conversation.

Later that evening they sat on the couch watching Disney's Tarzan, Blaine decided he would have the conversation with Kurt. So when Tarzan finished Blaine started before he had time to back it out and ignore it until the next day.

"Kurt I think we need to have a talk. However you need to promise me that you won't freak out at me."

"What? Why? What's wrong?"

"Kurt calm down. I am going to warn you now you may not be happy with what I am about to say. However I did it for all the right reasons. Are you sure you are alright with me doing on?"

"Are you kicking me out? Please just let me stay tonight and I'll go home tomorrow. Thank you for your hospitality until now. I really didn't mean to impose on you like this. I really am sorry Blaine it wasn't meant to be like this. I'm so sorry but please let me stay tonight."

Blaine held up his hand to silence Kurt. "Kurt stop I am not kicking you out. I wouldn't kick any of my friends out in the situation you are in. However I need you to be honest with me now, I have reason to believe you haven't been totally honest with me since you got here. Can you be honest with me now?" Kurt could only nod. "When I asked you if you wanted to phone your dad you said no because he wouldn't know you were not in your house. Why is that?"

"I erm….i…we."

"Kurt it's okay. You haven't spoken to him in quite a while have you?" Again Kurt just shook his head. "Do you want to know how I know?" Kurt thought for a moment and then nodded. "I rang Finn Kurt; he almost jumped down my throat when I told him you were at mine. He got Burt to ring me and we spoke." Kurt had many theories on how Blaine knew he had been lying but this was not one of them and he panicked. Blaine had spoken to his Dad. What had his Dad said? Had Blaine told his Dad about what he had witnessed with Mark? Before he could stop it his breathing started becoming short and shallow and he was going into a full blown panic attack.

"Kurt listen to me please you need to breath." Blaine ran into the kitchen to retrieve a paper bag. He had picked up a pack a few days after Kurt arrived as he had had a good few panic attacks. He ran back from the kitchen and helped Kurt put the bag around his mouth. After around 5minutes Kurt had regained control of his breathing.

"You spoke to my dad? How much did you tell him, you told him everything didn't you?" Kurt said

"No Kurt I didn't. Do not worry I did not tell you Dad about Mark if that is what you're worried about. I told him it wasn't my business to be telling him. So you haven't got to worry. I told you I wouldn't say anything without your permission and I didn't."

"Thank you Blaine, thank you so much. How is my Dad? Is he okay, he hasn't had another heart attack has he. Is he taking care of himself? Are him and Carole still together?" Kurt kept rambling.

"I will answer all of them questions Kurt but first of all you have to be honest with me. How long is it since you spoke to your dad?"

"T…Two years and six months." A single tear feel down his cheek. "And it's been one of the worst periods ever in my life."

"Okay thank you for your honesty Kurt. Your Dad told me the same thing but I needed to hear it for you. Your Dad is fine Kurt. He said he is doing that well he doesn't have to have check-ups anywhere near as frequently anymore. He said he was keeping to the diet you made for him. I didn't ask him about Carole. However seeing as it was Finn that got him to contact me I am guessing that your Dad is still with Carole. Now again I want to ask you something else. Why didn't you tell me?"

Kurt sighed he knew exactly why he didn't tell Blaine and he needed to be honest. "I knew that if I told you it been so long that it would make your alarm bell rings. We were roommates at Dalton Blaine; I know you knew how much I used to ring my Dad. I wasn't ready to face up the what it would led to you knowing if you knew that I wasn't ringing him. To be honest I'm still not sure if I am ready for you to know." Tears were flowing freely down Kurt's cheeks now. Blaine opened his arms up in invitation for Kurt, which he quickly accepted burring himself in to Blaine's chest. "I couldn't ring him after all this time. I knew he was going to be so pissed off with me. He brought me up on his own for ten years after my mom died, and then I deserted him. He must hate me." Kurt managed to get out through his tears.

"No Kurt you are so so wrong. He told me to tell you he loves you and he's just so glad you're safe as the few years of not know have been hell for him. He misses you Kurt. He wants you to ring him. He wants to hear his son's voice. I think that's the only way he is going to believe that you are safe."

"I will I'll ring him just give me a bit of time please Blaine. I will do it within the next hour I just need to get my head around the fact my dad is safe myself. As for all I knew he could have had another heart attack and died." Kurt said lifting out of Blaine's embrace.

"Of course Kurt, do it in your own time. I can't and I wouldn't push you into doing anything. However I must ask why? Why did you stop talking to him?"

Kurt sat in silence he wasn't ready to Blaine everything. If he told Blaine the truth would Blaine push him to tell him the rest? He didn't know but he knew one thing he was lucky after already lying to Blaine that he hadn't kicked him out. So he at least owes him the truth as to why. Besides without Blaine Kurt wouldn't know his father was alive and well. "Mark." It was nothing more than a whisper and if Blaine hadn't been waiting for an answer he wouldn't have heard him. "Please Blaine don't ask me anything else I'm not ready. I'm really not ready. If you ask I owe it to tell you but I don't feel ready yet, I'm sorry."

It was one of the options Blaine had thought about when he wondered why Kurt hadn't told him, and it was the one he least wanted to be told. However Blaine was here to take care of Kurt not to make him tell him anything that he wasn't ready to. He didn't want to do anything to make all his work the past few weeks go to waste. "Thank you Kurt and I'm sorry. I would not think about making you tell me if you are not ready. However if and when you are ready I'm here to listen."

The tears started flowing down Kurt's checks again. Admitting it was Mark's fault that he hadn't spoken to his dad for so long was a step in admitting just how much control Mark had had over him the last 3 and a bit years. It was both empowering but awfully worrying all at the same time. "I really am sorry I can't tell you any more Blaine." Kurt said trying to snuggle into Blaine again. Blaine quickly opened his arms, and started rubbing soothing circles into Kurt's back. Whispering in his ear to let him know he was safe. Kurt fell asleep after a matter of minutes leaving Blaine his thought. All of which had got surprising worse since he had been told Mark was to blame for Kurt's none contact with his family.


	14. Important AN

A/N - I am hoping to grace your presences with a new chapter tonight. I need to proof read it and that can't really happen until my daughter is in bed, as I find it a lot harder to re-read and change something than just writing it. Any way you have all been so good following this I wanted a bit of input into how you want a particular part of the story to go.

Its clear there is more abuse behind what we know already. Well what I want to know it When is comes out (not going to say how or to who) but when It does how do you want it. Do you want it in the form of a flash back as if its happening then and there. Or do just want Kurt to explain it in the past tense or maybe if I can a mixture of both?


	15. 14:To hear his voice again

I think quite a few of you may like this chapter. I hope you do anyway. Thankyou for anyone whos answered the question about how the abused gets told thankyou. if not check back one question really want to hear your thoughts. I love all your reviews :D

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Blaine let Kurt sleep he knew that it must have been a lot for Kurt to find out all that information. He sent a text to Burt saying that he had spoken to Kurt and he was overwhelmed with everything. So got very worked up and then fell asleep. He said he would get Kurt to tring in the morning which is exactly what he did.

"Hey Kurt, do you think that maybe it's time to ring your dad now?"

Kurt paused for a few minutes before answering. "Yes I do, he deserves to hear my voice I just really hope he doesn't hate me."

"Kurt he won't hate you. Here is his number in case you don't have it. I will just go out and grab a coffee. Drop me a text or something when you are done. We can talk then if you want."

"NO!" Kurt froze for a few seconds he flew back to the first time he had shouted at Mark after he turned violent. Then he forced himself to remember he wasn't with Mark, he was with Blaine. "Sorry I didn't mean to shout. I mean no, I don't want you to go out. I need you here, I need you for support, I need you to hold my hand if things get hard and hug me if I want to cry."

Blaine thought for a moment, he didn't want to intrude on Kurt's privacy with his dad, however he said he would be here for Kurt whenever he wanted it so he wasn't about to refuse now. "Okay but if you do want any privacy promise you will tell me. I won't get angry or offended I just want you to feel comfy."

"Okay I promise."

Kurt's hands were shaking while he dialled his father's number

"_Kurt?" _Kurt hadn't expected that one word coming out of his father's mouth as a question would affect him so much but it did. He also broke there any then. His dad was safe he could hear his voice after all this time.

"Yes Dad it's me."

"_Oh god Kiddo you are safe, you don't realise how good it is to hear your voice again." Burt was almost crying his son, his one and only son was safe. The boy that had helped him get through so much when his wife Elizabeth had died and he was safe. Kurt was alive and he was on the other end of the phone._

"I do Dad; I know what it's like. I know because it is so good for me to be able to hear your voice again. I'm sorry Dad." And that's when Kurt broke. He started sobbing. How could the man he had put through so much crap still sound so loving and caring. His dad was safe, he'd failed his dad in so many ways but his dad just seems happy to know that he Kurt was alive. He broke down into full body wracking sobs.

"Kurt give me the phone please." Blaine said calmly. He had expected Kurt to be effected by the phone call but not to break down so quickly. Kurt handed Blaine the phone, which Blaine took before opening his arms to Kurt could come for comfort if he wanted. Kurt quickly hid his head in Blaine's chest. Blaine put the phone on loud speaker so Kurt could still hear his Dad's voice.

"Hi Mr Hummel, its Blaine, I think Kurt just needs a few seconds."

"_Thanks kiddo, and its Burt Blaine. _

"Okay sorry Burt."

"_Is Kurt okay?"_

"Yes I just think he's a bit overwhelmed. I don't think he realised how much this was going to affect him. Just hearing your voice again was a bit too much for him. I'm sure you're aware that it's one thing being told someone is okay, but another being able to check for yourself." That was it Burt broke down himself, and Blaine had never once hear Burt cry._ Blaine's words couldn't have been truer. His son was safe, Kurt was safe._

Once Burt and Kurt had both finished sobbing they continued their conversation. Kurt however decided there was no point taking the phone of loud speaker he needed to stay in Blaine's embrace. He caused that hurt to his dad and it was not something he was proud of.

"Again I'm sorry Dad. I really am I never meant to hurt you, or Carole or anyone for that matter."

"Kurt. It's ok. I am not saying that these last few years have been easy, they have been hell. However I don't care now you are safe. You being safe is all that matters." _Kurt wanted to scream down the phone at this point. Yes I am now but I haven't been I haven't been safe since before the last time we spoke. I haven't felt truly safe before coming to Blaine's in over 3 years and 1 month. _Gosh all those thoughts made him want to lose it again but he managed to stay strong. He couldn't and wouldn't tell his Dad anything over the phone.

"I know Dad but I'm still sorry. You have to understand how sorry I am but it wasn't my fault. I promise you it wasn't my fault."

"What do you mean Kiddo?"

"I can't tell you Dad. I'm sorry but not like this. I will tell you, I want to, I need to. If I'm being honest I owe the same answers to Blaine. But I can't tell you over the phone. I need to see you Dad. I need to hold you to convince myself you are safe. And I refuse to tell you the things that stopped me contacting you for over two years on the phone."

"Kurt you owe me nothing however I do agree I think your dad needs to know at least what I do." Blaine said quickly. "How about if Burt can make it, he comes and stays here for a few days. I can get a cot from a friend of mine. Your dad can have the proper bed. And between me and you we will sort out who has the sofa and the cot?"

Kurt nodded "Can you Dad. Can you get to New York? I'm so sorry, and I just need a hug from my Dad right now."

"Son, if you were over the other side of the world I would find a way to get to you. Give me and hour to get my stuff together and I will leave. Hopefully I will be able to make it to you by 10pm this evening. I love you son, don't ever forget that.

"I love you to Dad. Again I'm really sorry. Drive safe, I miss you."

With that they ended the conversation, and Kurt was overcome with so many different emotions. He was about to see his dad again. Yes it was 2 and half years since they spoke but 3 since they last saw each other. He was scared that his dad would be less happy and instead angrier when he arrived. On top of that what he said on the phone was true he owed his dad and Blaine answers. Not just partial explanations but the full on whole honest truth. Whether or not he liked the fact it needed to be done.

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Yay for Burt. Protective Daddy Burt can come back :D


	16. 15:I owe it to you

A/N - Sorry if there is any mistakes in this. I wrote it whilst i had a hangover. I got my A-level results yesterday and found out i managed to get into University. Doesnt sound much, but i did two years worth of study in one year along side looking after my almost two year old daughter so yes i was very pleased. Lets just say im glad you can drink from 18 in the UK. I went out and got hammered to celebrate. So yes this was written whilst i had the headache and stuff that come as a result of getting hammered. So i hope its ok :D

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Burt rang to let the boys know when he was about 30minutes away and that's when Kurt really started to panic. His dad was coming to Blaine's house. The same dad he had been a complete jerk to after he brought him up. The same dad that he almost lost in his junior year  
of high school. The dad who he caused so much stress by basically disappearing from his radar that Kurt could have caused him to have another heart attack. Not only that but he was going to have to explain why he was living with the boy that was the love of his life for two years in high school and then gone on the break his heart. The same boy that last time Kurt  
spoke to his dad he was never going to speak to again. Oh gosh he was going to have a panic attack, and while he may register the signs because he'd had so many since arriving at Blaine's didn't he could stop them himself yet.

"Bl...Blaine"  
Blaine calmed Kurt down in the same way he had done every other time. Before having a conversation to try and help ease Kurt's nerves. Okay he himself wasn't close to either of his parents but he could never break contact with them for so long. He could only imagine all the things Kurt would be feeling.

"Kurt it's going to be alright you know that don't you? If I know one thing about your dad it's that he cares more about you than anything in the world. I know you want to tell him what happened the day I found you. I know that he won't be mad at you just glad his little boy  
is safe. I also know that I will be here if you want me to be while you tell him."

"But what if it was my fault Blaine? What if I deserved it? I need you here why I tell him. I know it's time you both knew everything; he's my dad he needs to know to understand the non-contact. You, well you haven't batted an eye lid about putting me up even though that last time we spoke before this we hated each other. You deserve to know too."

"Three things Kurt: 1 what Mark did to you that morning was not your fault you can't think like that. I know it's hard but believe me it's not your fault and never will be you have to believe me when I say that. 2 I understand why you need to tell you dad. I won't lie to you I do wonder what the full story is myself however I would be happy to never know as long as your dad knows. Yes you are living with me but you owe me nothing but what you want to tell me remember that. I don't expect you tell me anything you don't want to and anything you're not ready for me to know. 3 I could never hate you Kurt, yes I was upset and hurt by the last few times we spoke before this meaning but I would never hate you."

"Thank you Blaine."

"For what?"

"Everything. You have been so understanding in all of this, you've asked questions but not expected me to give answers If I haven't wanted to. You have given me somewhere to live, so I don't have problems with Mark, and you haven't batted an eye lid. However when I say I owe you this I do at the same time I owe it to myself to tell you also. My dad will be able to help me in some ways however I can tell from what you've already done you will be able to help me in others ways that he cant. I need to tell you. Also I don't think I will be able to tell my dad with help. You saw how I was on the phone to him. This meeting is going to be one of the best and worst if my life. I need you there but only if you don't mind, I won't force you to be but I would like you to be."

"Kurt if that's what you want I won't say no. However if there is anything at all you don't want to tell your dad while I'm around them don't. I don't want you making yourself uncomfortable."

"Again thank you Blaine. How are you so understanding? I don't know where I would be without you."

"As I've said before Kurt I would do the same for any of my friends. I know we had our difference for the past few years but that doesn't take away what we had in high school. We helped each other through a lot back then and I'm not about to forget that_." or maybe you wouldn't be in this kind of situation, maybe if you never went out with me you wouldn't have gone out with Mark. If I hasn't left you because I decided to believe my dad who never accepted my sexuality over the love of my life well maybe we wouldn't be in this situation now_. That's what Blaine was actually thinking but he couldn't exactly tell Kurt that right now.

"Yes well thank you for that Blaine I know a lot of my other friends wouldn't come running and wouldn't have done what you have especially not after so long and for so long."

"Again I would that's what matters right now. Go get washed up and I'll make coffee for your dad's arrival. Is he allowed normal or do I need to make him some separate decaf?"

"I think under the circumstances the 3 of us are going to need a dam big pot of the normal stuff please unless you're offering something stronger?"

"You can have something stronger after if you still need it I promise. However right now you are going to want to remember seeing your dad again. Now go on he'll only be about 15 now and I know how much you like everything to be perfect."

Blaine was also quite worried, not because of the fact that Burt was coming but because of the little snippets that Kurt kept saying in conversations. _I__t's time you both knew everything _Blaine hoped to that non-existent god that all the things that were racing through his mind weren't correct. He hoped that maybe Kurt had done a little something to let his Dad down and cut contact. Blaine knew how much Kurt stroke for perfection he really hoped that's all it was.


	17. 16:Thoughts and feelings

This is being posted early for Thegirlwholovespeanutbutter who is totally awesome. She just beta'd two of the most important chapters that come a bit later in this story. So this is being posted early as a thank you to her. Everyone waiting for Zero and 9 Months I promise they will be up in the next day or two just on a writing block with both of them.

Blaine wasn't sure if he wanted the next 15 minutes to go faster or slower. On one hand he was looking forward to seeing Burt again, he himself hadn't seen him since Kurt and he had broken up. He was looking forwards to seeing the two Hummel men reunite. He was also in a way glad he was about to know many of the questions that he had been wondering since that morning he first rescued Kurt from Mark.

These questions were also what made him want time to slow down however. Right now he knew that things had happened to Kurt that he probably wouldn't be too impressed with. However not knowing exactly what they were made him feel slightly better in a way. Yes it sometimes made him wonder if it was the worst and maybe Mark had been abusing Kurt for a long time. However then his mind would say no, Kurt wouldn't let that happen, and he thinks or the not so bad reason for the lack of contact. He wants these to be true so badly and that's why he isn't sure if he is actually ready for the truth.

The thought that anyone could physically hurt Kurt in any way made him feel sick. Yes he knew he wasn't completely innocent he had hurt Kurt emotionally, but he knew that he would never had dared lay a finger on him. He knew from the second he meet him that he was something special. So strong and compassionate despite everything he had been thought. So many people had so many reasons to be so proud of Kurt with what he had been thought and where he had managed to get in his life. He would never admit it to anyone but Blaine was probably much prouder than any normal friend would have been, but this was Kurt Hummel they were talking about.

He is worried how Burt is going to react to what he himself already knows about what Mark did to Kurt. He knows from what Kurt said that when Burt found out about the Karofsky incident that he went crazy even thought he had not long recovered from a heart attack. He was worried that Burt would try and act the same now, and hurt Mark.

Okay yes Blaine really really wanted to hurt Mark himself, but he had been using every last bit of self-control not to act on it past what he had done the morning he found Kurt. He knew that anyone whether he or Burt attacking Mark would not work well for the trial they eventually had to have against Mark. He couldn't hate anyone more than he did Mark. Yes he had hated Karofsky with everything he had put Kurt through, however this was different Mark was meant to love Kurt unconditionally but for some reason he'd hurt him. Again just the thought of Kurt being hurt had Blaine's stomach churning.

Blaine still deep in his thoughts walked into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, for the three of them. A very strong and very big pot of coffee. Blaine's mind went back to the day when Kurt had dropped a glass and tried to clean it up with his bare hands. The same day that lead to finding out exactly what Mark had done to Kurt. If Blaine could he would without question take all of the pain away from the poor fragile boy. Blaine knew full well he was a man, but in times when he did have episode Blaine would think he looked exactly like a child. He was just as if not more vulnerable than a child in certain moments.

Blaine was also apprehensive, he was scared that Burt was going to try and blame him for some of this. He also knew the likelihood was that Kurt would break down more than once speaking to his dad and it was up to him to comfort him during that. He was worried that he would go about it in the wrong way and it wouldn't have the desired effect on Kurt. He was also worried that Burt wouldn't be okay with him comforting his son after what he did.

Burt was surprised that he had actually been able to drive properly any of the way to New York. He had spoken to his son after all that time. He knew Kurt was alive, and in a way that was more than he had ever hoped for at times. Not only was his son alive but his son still wanted him.

One of Burt's biggest fears when Kurt cut contact was that it was because of the kind of Father he had been to him. What with the not being able to cook properly for the boy when his mom died, to not being able to completely accept him being gay straight away, to bonding with Finn instead of him, and the list was even longer. Burt believed quite often that it was all of these things adding up together that had stopped Kurt contacting him.

Another thing was worrying Burt was the fact that Blaine was involved in all of this. He knew only two well that Blaine broke his son's heart 8 years ago and that they hadn't had contact for over 6 years. What could Kurt be talking about when he said he owes me an explanation that he also owes Blaine? What could he owe Blaine after all the heart break he caused? Burt was worried that Kurt was even at Blaine's house. Yes he was thankful that Blaine had let his son stay there for the past two weeks for whatever reason, but why Blaine after all this time?

On the other hand Burt also had to keep himself for breaking the speed limit on the freeway. His son was alive and he wanted to see him. The hours of driving were like torture in itself knowing that his son was so close yet still so far away from him. He had explained to Carole that he was going to see Kurt but that he thought for now it was best for him to go on his own. He said that if the situation allowed he would bring Kurt home or have her come up for a few days, so that she two could be reunited with Kurt. In the time before Kurt cut contact Kurt and Carole had grown closer and closer to each other.

As Burt pulled into the neighbourhood where Blaine's apartment was he had to stop the car for a few minutes. He had so many different emotions running through his body he didn't know which to let surface first. But he also knew from the phone call that Kurt seemed very fragile, and that for this reason he would have to seem at least partially composed to stop Kurt getting any worse. All he knew was that he just wanted to give his son a hug.


	18. 17:Three years

A/N I am updating all of my stories to which i have the next chapters written, as i am going away until late friday night so unless i can get wifi somewhere i will be unable to update. My amazing beta **LeBeauAJ**(she really is amazin she betas all my stories and very fast to) has been left with at least 15 different documents to beta so i can give you more chapters quickly once i get back :D Hope you enjoy this.

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When Kurt heard a knock at the door from the bedroom he could have sworn he was going to have another full blown panic attack. He decided that he couldn't greet his Dad at the door because he really would panic and there is a chance anybody at all could see.

"Will you get that Blaine? I cannot answer the door to him after all this time."

"Of course Kurt, come and sit in the Lounge the coffee is already in there. Everything will be okay I promise."

Blaine thought that it may be the case that Kurt didn't want to answer the door so he was already fully prepared, and already on the way to greet Burt. He opened the door to see Burt looking pretty much the same as the last time he saw him other than a bit older. He also had a revived but worried look in his eyes.

"Hello Burt. It's nice to see you. Come in Kurt's in the lounge."

"Thank you Blaine. You don't realize how thankful I am that you are letting me stay so I can see him."

"Yes I do don't worry Burt." Then Blaine turned his voice into a whisper that wouldn't be audible to Kurt "I must say though Burt, Kurt is fragile so just be careful with him. I know you're so pleased to see him, and that feeling is mutual but that doesn't stop him being fragile. I know you want to know why he is here along with many other questions, and I do believe Kurt will answer them, but don't push him for the answers. He probably would tell you if he was asked but it could cause problems."

"Ok Blaine I won't, don't worry I just want to see him now. I also must say, all that doesn't make me feel much better about this whole situation."

"I know sir and I'm sorry about that, but I had to tell you."

"I know you did, and it's still Burt Kiddo."

Blaine led Burt into the lounge. Blaine himself felt so nervous about this meeting of Father and Son, so he didn't even want to imagine how the two of them themselves were feeling. He just wanted to leave them to it, but he had promised Kurt that he would be there unless he was asked to leave so he was going to do so.

"Kurt your dad's here." Blaine said softly. Kurt stayed silent and still for a minute before slowly getting out of his seat, and turn to come face to face with his father, for the first time in three years. Burt stepped forward without thinking. After 3 years apart from his son he needed to give him a hug. As Burt stepped forward and raised his arms, Kurt flinched violently but stood his ground. When Burt enveloped him in a hug it took him a good couple of minutes before he began to relax. This worried Burt.

_Why did my son flinch, and why did it take him so long to stop being tense he knows it's only me. God he feels so thin I don't remember him ever being this thin. What the hell had happened to him? _The one thing that Burt liked even less was the fact that the sparkle was missing from Kurt's eyes. That sparkle had never before been missing. Not when he lost his mom, or when he was being bullied by Karofsky or when Blaine had broken his heart. But now something had happened to take that spark away and that worried Burt the most.

Pretty soon both men were crying onto each other's shoulders, seeing each other after so long proving too much for both of them. Blaine just stood back and let the scene unfold whilst remaining a constant presence. After a while they pulled away from the hug and got a proper look at each other for the first time.

"Dad?" Kurt said at exactly the same time Burt said "Kurt?"

"It's me, Dad. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Kurt's voice broke. "I didn't mean for it to be like this is, I really didn't."

"Hey, hey Kiddo, it's alright. Let's sit down drink some coffee and talk shall we. I think we've got a lot of catching up to do."

Kurt and Blaine sat down on the couch while Burt sat in the arm chair. They all sat drinking their drinks for a few minutes before Burt broke the silence.

"It's so good to see you again Kurt. Before we go any further I want you to know whatever you tell me why I'm here I'm not going to be angry. I can't be angry now I know you're safe. That's the thing that's most important to me."

"Thank you Dad. I really have missed you, you know that don't you."

"I'm sure of it kiddo. Can I ask one question, you don't have to answer it if you don't want to but I want to ask it anyway?" Kurt nodded "I know this probably sounds stupid, but you being here with Blaine isn't what is responsible for you being so broken is it? Sorry Blaine but I had to ask."

Kurt just looked at Blaine with a pleading look. Blaine could tell it was Kurt asking for him to answer the question for Kurt. "No Burt it's alright I understand. I am not going to tell you too much, it's up to Kurt when he tells you what. But I have only been back in contact with Kurt for a few weeks. I am afraid to say he was like this when I found him." Burt's breath hitched at this he didn't know what he was expecting to hear, but whatever it was he didn't like what he had heard.

"Were any of the reasons you stopped contacting my fault Kurt?" That was it Kurt broke. Of all the things he never wanted his Dad to think it was that. He stopped breathing before his body was taken over with violent sobs. Tears streamed down his face worse than Blaine or Burt had ever seen before. Blaine didn't want to get too involved so he left it for a while to see if Kurt was going to be able to calm himself down. After a while he decided he had to step in.

"_Kurt." _he said softly before opening up his arms in invitation for the older man. Kurt looked up at the sound of his name and took the invitation instantly. Once Blaine had wrapped his arms around the top of Kurt's back he gestured for Burt to come and join them. Kurt knew his Dad had joined them as he felt the gentle dip of the sofa as his Dad sat down. Not a second later he felt callous, get gentle hands on his back rubbing up and down gently. He could tell from the size that it belonged to his father even before he started to speak.

"Shhhhh. I'm sorry Kurt I didn't want to upset you. I just wanted to know; if it was anything I did I wanted it to be in my power to stop you from ever feeling like that again. It's all right really Kurt no matter what you're my son and I love you more than anything. It's okay, shhhhh." _Burt didn't know how he kept so calm while talking to Kurt. He just wanted to panic. Something like that had affected his son so badly, and he had gone into his ex-boyfriends arms for comfort. He knew Kurt would not let people comfort him easily, so for him to see his son's ex-boyfriend being able to do that really worried him._

Blaine didn't reduce his grip on Kurt and he knew there was a chance that his shirt could be ruined but at the second he really didn't care he just kept his gaze upon the broken man. He just wanted to be able to make everything okay for Kurt again. Problem with that was he didn't even know what the full problem was. However he did stay silent and let Burt also comfort his son.

After a while Kurt spoke up "It was nothing you did Dad I promise." It was muffled as his face was still tightly pressed against Blaine's chest but both Burt and Blaine understood.

"Okay kiddo. I'll be here for you, no matter why it was. And not matter why I won't be angry with you either."

Kurt slowly sat up and was now in the middle of the two other men. He turned and gave his dad a quick hug. "Thank you Dad. How are you, Carole and Finn keeping?"

"We are all doing well Kiddo; Carole still works too hard if you ask me. However you would say I worked too hard if you were to ask. Finn is working full time in the garage too, so business there is really good. My heart is doing well. Mostly we have just missed you Kurt. All of us. How are you doing?"

"As good as I can be Dad. And I'm sorry you missed me but I promise I won't let anything like this happen again." _There it was again Burt thought to himself, even more reason to worry 'As good as I can be' what did that mean? Burt was sure it couldn't be anything good._

A few moments later both Kurt and Burt were trying to stifle yawns. "I'm sorry if you think you're butting in. I know you probably want answers Burt. But you and Kurt both seem awfully tired. May I suggest we all retire for the night and we talk more tomorrow? I think with the context of the conversation or what I know of it, it may be best?"

"If you are sure you both won't mind. I owe you both answers and you will get them. I just don't know if my emotional state will handle that tonight."

"Don't be silly kiddo make sure you put your health first. Get yourself off to bed, and we can speak tomorrow. I love you son."

"I love you too Dad thank you." Kurt headed in the direction of the study where the cot had been set up earlier. However Burt was having none of it.

"Take the bed Kiddo. Blaine and I will fight over the sofa and the cot. And no don't try and say something back I'm sure. Sleep well Kiddo."


	19. 18:You still love him

A/N Becuase ive been away and i am kind i am going to update like 2 or 3 or my stories today. Then from satuarday or sunday i will go back to one story a day and doing them in order. Hope you like this update :D

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Blaine and Burt made quiet conversation. Even though both were tired, both their minds were too caught up in what they may learn tomorrow to be too concerned about sleep. Once Burt was sure Kurt was asleep he stopped the small talk and asked a question he'd wanted to ask ever since he'd seen Blaine comfort his son.

"You love him don't you?"

Blaine just sat there frozen, how was he meant to answer that question.

"I…um…err…"

"It's alright Blaine just answer the question honestly. I won't be angry I'm pretty sure I already know the answer anyway. "

"Okay then. Yes I do love Kurt. How did you know?"

"I saw the way you were looking at him when you were hugging him. It's the same look you always had in your eyes whenever you looked at him back in high school. If I'm completely honest it's the look I used to have when I looked at Kurt's Mom."

"I didn't realize it was quite that obvious. If I'm being totally honest with you I don't think I ever stopped loving him. Kurt being here these past few weeks has just done even more to prove to me I never stopped loving him. I know it sounds silly after I broke his heart but it wasn't what I had planned on. I know you may not believe me, but I didn't ever want to break his heart; I wanted to set him free. I believed I was holding him back, and I believed setting him free was what was best for him. I thought I was acting with his best interests at heart and believe me I have never made bigger mistakes than what I did with Kurt."

Burt nodded, "Thank you, for being honest Blaine. Why didn't you try and get him back once you came to New York. If you loved him that much why didn't you jump at the chance?"

"Do you want the honest answer to that?" Burt nodded, "I was stupid. I was scared that because of what I'd done to Kurt he'd have realized that there were actually much better people than me here in New York. I was too scared to tell him in case he rejected me. I didn't want to lose his friendship by getting rejected for suggesting trying our relationship again. I managed to mess that up as well. When I found out he'd got with Jason I couldn't handle it. To me he was still the man I loved, and someone was taking that away. I lost it, and well I lost Kurt back then. Don't worry I can tell your shocked. Believe me I was awfully shocked when I realized he'd contacted me after all these years. I've missed him like crazy and it was nice to see him again, I just wish the circumstances would have been different." During his little speech Blaine had let a few tears fall down his cheeks he really did still love Kurt.

"From what I can see you do really know you messed up. But what do you mean different circumstances?"

"Burt I hate to say this, but it's not for me to say. It's for you to talk about with your son. In a way I want to tell you, to save him the pain of having to do it, and also to save you another night of worry. However I know that he needs to tell you himself, and I am going to respect that, I hope you can respect me and my decision."

"Of course I understand. I'm just glad you're respecting Kurt. I'm not going to like some of the information I hear tomorrow am I?"

"I'm afraid I don't even know everything, but the bits I do know you won't like. I'm sorry I can't say anything better but it's the truth."

Burt took his cap off and ran his fingers over his scalp, one of his clear indications of being stressed. "Alright thank you Blaine. I'm going to go to bed for the night, I think I'm gonna need all my wits about me tomorrow." With that Burt left to go to the study leaving Blaine with his thoughts. Blaine and Burt had already decided earlier it was better for Burt to take the cot.

Blaine had just admitted he still loved the man he broke up with 8 years ago. He didn't know whether to feel relieved or worried. Yes he knew deep down that he still loved Kurt but to come out and tell Kurt's dad of all people was something else. Not many people knew, but Blaine hadn't had a relationship since he was with Kurt. He just couldn't face it. Even the thought of trying a relationship with someone else had just reminded him of Kurt, and what he'd made himself lose.

Admitting that he still loved him was a relief; it took some of the pressure of having to keep the feeling completely locked away. Doing that had been hard; he had locked the feeling away before. Once when he first met Kurt and convinced himself Kurt needed a mentor not a boyfriend and back when he first moved to New York. To have them out there was nice.

On the other hand it also scared him. He had grown to realize that whatever he was going to learn from Kurt tomorrow was not going to be nice. He knew it was going to test his emotions. However now he had the knowledge that it may affect his emotions even more. As whatever had happened, had happened to the love of his life. That was not a nice thought to have at all.

Blaine was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of screaming. He knew straight away that it was Kurt. So he quickly ran into his room to wake him, before the noise woke Burt. He decided that it was best if he stayed in there that night. It was a good job he did. Despite him staying he had to wake Kurt a further 5 times from nightmares, normally if he was present in the room the nightmares were none existent.

Kurt did not cope well that night. Not only was he having nightmares but he was having the worst ones he'd ever had since he arrived at Blaine's. He knew it was his mind trying to mess with him because of what he was getting ready to tell his dad and Blaine. His mind was trying to make him believe that no one would believe him, that they would blame him. He just wanted it all to be over, but he knew no matter what it was far from over.

After the 6th waking Kurt couldn't get back to sleep so Blaine decided to use the one thing that worked when Kurt first came to Dalton after admitting Karofsky had threatened to kill him. He sat on the bed, and left it to Kurt to get into a position he felt most comfortable in, which ended up being Kurt with his head on Blaine's lap, with one of Blaine's hands on his back, anchoring him to reality and comfort.

"_When you try your best, but you don't succeed.__  
__When you get what you want, but not what you need__  
__When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep__  
__Stuck in reverse__  
__And the tears come streaming down your face_"

Kurt really did have tears streaming down his face. It was one of the first things Blaine had ever sung to him to comfort him, and without Blaine even knowing it was the perfect song for the situation he was in.

"_When you lose something you can't replace"_

Kurt felt like he'd lost so much. He'd lost the person who was meant to love him. He lost his flat and he'd also in a way lost his independence and self-respect.

"_When you love someone, but it goes to waste__"_

He'd loved Mark but it seemed that those feelings weren't reciprocated in the same way.

"_Could it be worse?"_

Well in a way yes it could, he could not have Blaine right now and for that he was very thankful. _"Lights will guide you home;"_

Not that he'd admit it to anyone else now he had his Dad and Blaine he really felt like he was home. _"And ignite your bones__  
__And I will try to fix you"_

By the end of this chorus Kurt could feel himself giving into sleep. Blaine had brought a hand up and started to stroke his hair, something that he knew helped Kurt sleep. Kurt was surprised he remembered after all this time, but was glad he did. As he just wanted to sleep and forget about everything. _"__And high up above or down below__  
__When you're too in love to let it go__  
__But if you never try you'll never know__  
__Just what you're worth__  
__  
__Lights will guide you home__  
__And ignite your bones__  
__And I will try...__To fix you__Tears stream down on your face__  
__When you lose something you cannot replace__  
__Tears stream down on your face__  
__And I..."_

_Tears stream down on your face__  
__I promise you I will learn from my mistakes__  
__Tears stream down on your face__  
__And I...__Lights will guide you home__  
__And ignite your bones__  
__And I will try to fix you._

Just as he finished singing Blaine felt Kurt's breath even out in a way he knew meant Kurt was probably sleeping. He moved him into a more comfortable position and placed a kiss on Kurt's forehead. Before whispering…

"I Love You." In the knowledge Kurt would never know what he said.


	20. 19:Lizzie

Here you go i know i only updated this the other day. But i am going back to updating each story one chapter in turn. And i thought people may like this one doing first the most :D once again thankyou to my amazing beta LeBeauAJ she betad about 12 chapters from different stories while i was away on holiday.

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When Burt woke in the morning he was surprised that Blaine wasn't on the couch yet, neither was he in the bathroom, Burt had already been in there to have a shower, or the kitchen. He could only gather that Blaine had gone out without leaving a note or… _No surely Blaine and Kurt were not in a bedroom together right now. Yes Blaine told me he still loved my son, that doesn't mean I thought he was acting on it. Oh god what exactly is it that my son has to tell me._

Burt fixed himself a coffee, no it wasn't decaf but right then he didn't care. He sat himself down on the couch and let his thoughts take over. He had slept better last night than he had in two and a half years despite being in a cot and not a proper bed, and despite knowing he had a not very nice conversation to come today he slept like a baby. His son, his baby, the only real thing of Elizabeth he had left was still alive. With the thought of Elizabeth he found himself talking to her.

"_What am I doing here Lizzie? What's going on with our son? I know I'm here in a house with him now which means he is still alive, but what's been going on these past few years that he wouldn't contact me. I know he said last night it wasn't me but am I really that bad a father. I know he struggled to tell me that he was gay; I just was well kind of hoping after he realized I still loved him no matter what that he'd always come to me with problems after that. I wish you were still here Lizzie you were so much better at things like this than I am. Last time I knew what Kurt was doing he was a credit to you though. He had always been so hard working Lizzie. I know I've told you all this before but he is so moral and compassionate, and I know he gets that from you. However I'm worried about him Lizzie. He didn't contact me for over two years, and I see him yesterday for the first time in three years yesterday. He looks so broken Lizzie. I know you will have something to do with the reason I have found him again. Please just help me get through today Lizzie, I can't lose him again, I've already lost, you. I miss you so much every day, and I will always love you."_

Just as Burt finished talking in his head to his late wife, he heard the door to the master bedroom, and he saw Kurt walking out fully dressed and ready for the day. When Kurt turned around to shut the bedroom door Burt caught sight of Blaine lying on the bedroom floor. His face must have shown his shock as Kurt quickly spoke up.

"Morning Dad, it's not what it looks like don't worry. You'll understand more soon, I just can't have this conversation without him here. I know its hard waiting but you'll know everything soon enough."

Well Burt was relieved about that. Knowing your son's ex-boyfriend was one thing, but having them back together was another. He knew he wasn't ready for the second one yet especially after this long without contact with Kurt.

"Okay son, coffee's in the pot." Kurt walked into the kitchen and poured himself and Blaine a cup of coffee, he walked into the living room placing Blaine's on the table, he would take it into him if he wasn't up in the next 10 minutes. He sat down next to his father and took a sip on his coffee and almost choked.

"DAD! You know you are only meant to have decaf coffee you had normal yesterday evening as it was." _Now that was his son back. The son that wouldn't let him eat anything with as much as a tiniest splash of fat in. It set him slightly at ease; it seems no matter what Kurt had to tell him he hadn't fully lost his sassy self. Thank you Lizzie._

"Sorry, I just need a cup of caffeine. I must say I want to know why you haven't contacted me for so long, but I have a feeling I'm not going to like it, I needed the real stuff."

"Okay, you won't like it, but let's get off that topic for now. Has Finn made up his mind about his love life yet?"

"He's a lot more settled with his life now. He isn't in a relationship but he isn't in and out of one either. Since Rachel got with Brody he decided that he just wanted the time to find himself." Kurt flinched at the use of Rachel's name. Last time he knew anything about Rachel she was on a split for Finn but wanted him back. Who the hell was this Brody?

"Well at least he's more settled. I never thought it was good for the two of them; they have spilt and got back together so many times since they first got together back in sophomore year. You say he's working at the garage?"

"Yes Martin left last year, and I offered Finn a full time position if he wanted it. It was around the time he was getting used to the fact that him and Rachel were truly over I think as they hadn't any thoughts of getting together for over six months. I think he knew his place for now was in Ohio so he threw himself at the chance to go full time. You know how good of a worker he is, almost as good as you."

"Oh ever so modest Dad, but we both learnt from the best, and you know it." Burt chuckled.

He was about to answer when Blaine came out of the bedroom also fully dressed. He went wide eyed when he saw Burt was already up and not just Kurt. Kurt guessing it was because he thought Burt was maybe thinking what he had been questioning about why they were in the same room, so decided to break the ice.

"Don't worry Blaine; he knows it's not like that. Come sit down, I've got you a coffee here I was about to come and wake you."

Blaine took his coffee and sat down in the armchair "Thank you Kurt."

"You're welcome. I am going to go and make breakfast, then we will talk properly I promise." Without waiting for an answer he went to make breakfast for the three of them.


	21. 20:It's my fault

A/N Chapter 20. OMFG when did that happen? Thank you to everyone who has stuck it out so far. I have no idea how many more chapters. There are two ways I can go with this, one way will have a lot less chapters than the other so what do you think, long or short road from here. Also I think you maybe have the update you have all been waiting for.

I know i have been building up to this chapter for a while so i will give it you.

I will warn you now that this chapter contains **violence **

**Please read the end A/N too**

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Breakfast was lovely; Kurt had always been a pro at making healthy food taste nice. They all sat around the table, and were talking like old times. The thought went through every one of their minds.

_Blaine – Gosh this is just like old times when the Hudson-Hummel's let me stay over and were more family than my own family. Why did I fuck all that up?_

_Kurt – Gosh I can't remember the last time I felt so at ease. Why didn't I realize that I never felt like this with Mark?_

_Burt – Gosh this is like old times, how I miss having my boy at home, and having a very full house for family dinner, when it wasn't only Kurt and I but, Carole, Finn, Rachel, Blaine and Sam as well._

Soon after breakfast, once the pots had been washed and put away, and another massive pot of coffee made, and placed on a tray on the coffee table it was time to get this talk out of the way. Kurt and Blaine were sitting at opposite ends of the couch. Kurt knowing he was going to need both space and comfort during this conversation. Burt was sitting in the arm chair, realizing from Kurt's body language that he needed some space.

"Right there is a few things I need to say before we start all this. One, Dad you are not going to like a lot of what I have to say. I am happy for you to ask questions, but I will not promise if or when I will answer. I will also stop at any point if you want me to. Two I am going to start with what Blaine knows and go from there. It's kind of back to front but you'll understand."

Kurt stuck out his hand and Blaine knew that Kurt wanted him to hold it to try and help keep him grounded. "Right Dad, I came here to Blaine's just over two weeks ago. Before that we hadn't spoken since the last time I told you."

"Why Blaine?" _To be honest Kurt didn't know the whole reason why Blaine. Yes he knew he may still live in New York and wouldn't have his number but the same could be said for a few other people._

"I'll get there I promise Dad. But not straight away, but it will kind of make sense in the end." Burt nodded and Kurt continued. "Let's just say the same day I came to Blaine, Mark and I ended. A lot happened that day before Blaine arrived but there was something particular that made me text Blaine. It won't explain why Blaine, but it will explain partially why I'm here." Kurt knew he was rambling to stop him getting to the point, but he knew once he started it was only going to get worse. He took a deep breath before getting on with it.

"He insulted Mom, out of anything you know it's something I can't handle. You know how much I looked up to her Dad, like I do you, and someone insulting her I just couldn't handle it. I just took the jump and text Blaine hoping he would come." Kurt took another deep breath. "Things happened that night that made him do that, I'm not making it right but we had an argument. He went out and I fell asleep on the sofa and well it lead to a big argument when he got back in. I went to do the washing up and I dropped a glass, and well he went crazy Dad." Blaine squeezed his hand, to make Kurt know he was there for him. "He was drunk and I went to get the Hoover and he…he…he turned violent Dad." It was Burt's turn to take a sharp intake of breath. "He pushed me to the floor and said, '_not having your mother around when you were younger did lots of damage to you and stopped you being domesticated properly'. _More than the violence it was that that hurt the most, Dad. You know how mum was before she died."

"_Hey Darling, do you want to stir this for mommy?" Kurt nodded and Elizabeth handed him the bowl of batter and he began to stir._

"_Well done, good boy. I'm going to get some water to add into it it's a bit thick. You stay there and be careful."_

"_Okay Mommy."_

_Elizabeth pulled a small glass out of the cupboard to fill with water. She was feeling a bit worse for wear today; it seems it was a day her chemo would make her feel tired. Her hands were shaking slightly but she didn't want to let Kurt down. He loved cooking with her and she wanted to be able to keep doing that with him. She wanted to be able to make life as normal as possible for her baby._

_As she walked back over to Kurt, she started to feel dizzy and the glass slipped out of her hand and landed with a crash. Elizabeth quickly bent down and was trying to pick up the glass shards._

"_STOP MOMMY!" Kurt shouted placing the batter on the side and jumping down next to his mom and grabbing hold of her arms. He knew his mommy was ill and knew it wasn't safe to touch glass. "You tell me not to touch glass like that mommy, daddy will be home soon let him do it please."_

_Elizabeth stood up and pulled Kurt into a hug "I love you Kurt." Little did either of them know then it would be one of the last times Elizabeth would ever cook with Kurt._

"Kurt….Kurt….Kurt." The voice was soft and caring, but not his mother's then Kurt remember where he was.

"Blaine….Oh sorry." Kurt was wrapped in Blaine's arms and had tears tracking down his cheeks.

"You're back with us now that's what matters. Do you think you are going to be able to continue?"

Kurt nodded. "Anyway the fight didn't get much better from there I was pushed into a few counters and stuff and he…he forced me into stuff I told you I would never let anyone do. I'm so sorry Dad."

"Kurt it's alright. Don't blame yourself calm down"

"Alright thanks dad. That night I couldn't sleep. Well I did the only thing I could think of to get out. I texted Blaine, knowing he didn't know who was texting. I wasn't sure if he'd come, and well when I woke up in the morning he hadn't, Mark was as nice as pie. However I couldn't forget what he said about Mom so I took one more chance and messaged Blaine again." Kurt had stayed in Blaine's embrace for this part of the story he felt safer saying it there. He took a large breath in through his nose to take in Blaine's scent and it gave him the courage to go on. "Well Blaine did arrive and well things kind of went downhill from there. It wasn't Blaine's fault Dad you have to believe me when I say, he was brilliant. Mark lost it when he realized my ex was at our apartment and well we argued some more and he knocked me out. That's the last thing I remember before waking up here."

"Can I Kurt?" Kurt nodded and Blaine decided to go on. "When I got to the address on the text, I recognized Mark straight away and thought it was him who sent the text. However he snatched my phone and went off inside the flat. Well I acted quickly enough and stuck my foot in the door. I could hear mumbling but thought nothing of it as it was just that. But then everything changed, and I could hear Mark shouting. I went in and I didn't know what was happening I ran to the bedroom. I didn't know who it was but I saw someone huddled in the corner. I wasn't quick enough to stop him going to hit the person, if I had any idea what Mark was going to do I would have stopped him sooner I promise Burt. It wasn't until I heard the person scream "NO!" that I realized who it was I'm sorry Burt. I managed to stop him doing anything else after that. I got Mark to leave and brought Kurt here. I'm sorry I didn't stop him getting hurt, I'm sorry Burt." It was Blaine's turn to let a tear escape the first time since this whole thing had happened.

"It's alright Blaine you did what you could. Have the police been informed?"

"Yes they have Dad, Blaine convinced me to do it. Also saying I could stay here for as long as I needed."

Burt was shocked. His son, his boy that had been through so much bullying back at McKinley, had been abused by the person who was meant to love him. And he thought Blaine breaking his son's heart had been hard to deal with. "Thank you for telling me Kurt and thank you for getting him out of there Blaine. But wait you said you _'did the only thing you could think of to get out'. _Why Blaine? And why couldn't you just leave him Kurt and go to Rachel's?"

"Because I haven't had contact with Rachel since the last time I had contact with you, Dad." Kurt said as he slowly sat up and out of Blaine embrace. He took another deep breath before continuing. This was it he was about to share his past few years with these two people. Once it was out there was no going back.

"And I couldn't get out because…because it had been going on too long."

Burt was filled with concern what had been going on to long, were they still talking about Rachel. "What was going on too long son?"

Kurt just sat there, he couldn't do this. He couldn't admit he was such a failure in front of these two people. Plus the abuse was his fault anyway

"_Mark please can we just have a nice meal without arguing please."_

"_You made it like this. You started the argument it's your entire fault. It's always your fault." Mark punctuated his sentence while giving Kurt a slap across the face._

"_You come home from work and I try and do something nice for you and you're too fucking tired. You are always an ungrateful cow. Too concerned about your work and not concerned enough about your boyfriend. It's your fault I'm turning out like this. It's your entire fault because you don't give me the attention I need. A man needs to feel loved you know Kurt, I give you that love and I don't feel it reciprocated."_

_Maybe because I'm not, Kurt thought to himself. "I do Mark, I do love you. I've just been so tired lately; you know how busy I get near change of season lines."_

"_I don't give a fucking shit, that's your fault for not managing your time better. Is it too much for me to ask to spend some time with my boyfriend? I love you and just want to see you more."_

"_I know Mark. I'm sorry that I can't have more time with you at the moment. But this is so important."_

"_So. You're. Saying. I'm. Not. Important!" Mark punctuated every word with a slap across Kurt's face. Before standing up and stepping around the back of Kurt and grabbing hold of his arm. "I'll show you what happens when you think anything is more important than me." He said as he twisted Kurt's arm behind his back._

"_NO!...NO!...NO!...NO!_

"Kurt, come on come back to us please. It's Blaine and your Dad, come back to us."

Kurt gasped for breath he didn't know how long he'd been holding it but he felt like his lungs were on fire. "That's it Kurt. Take a sip of this." Blaine said lifting a glass of water to Kurt's lips.

"Do you need a break kiddo?" Kurt shook his head he needed to finish this and he needed to do it now he had started.

"It's entirely my fault."

"What's your fault Kurt?"

"All of it my fault, I deserved it all."

"All of what son?"

This was it he just had to say it. "The…the…the…Abuse…all 3 years, 1 month and 4 days of it." A single tear rolled down Kurt's cheek at the admission.

_OMG that's why my son hasn't contacted me all this time he's been being abused. What the hell exactly has been happening to him, no wonder he flinched when I went to hug him. I raised my arms and he thought I was going to hit him. Oh god Lizzie please no! He's our baby! Burt thought._

_So that's what all these nightmares and flashbacks have been about and why I've had to sleep in a room with Kurt. I knew he was hiding something but this is something else. Oh my god, this can't be happening this is so fucked up. It's also my fault if I wouldn't have split with him this would never have happened. It's all my fault. Blaine thought._

Burt and Blaine gasped simultaneously it was not what either had expected to hear.

It was out he'd said it and now he was broke and Blaine's and his Dad's reaction proved just how much of a failure he was. He slipped down onto the floor and curled himself into the smallest ball possible. The sobs that wracked his body were so violent many stopped him being able to take a breath. But when he could all he could say was.

"It's my entire fault."

Blaine and Burt knew he had slipped into what seems to be his 3rd flash back, however this time there voices didn't seem to be bringing him out of it.

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A/N - Right i know i'm nasty it doesnt end there, depending on how many reviews i get depends how quickly you get part two of this :D

Also i have started another story just wondering if anyone would read a story with this summary.

_Kurt and Blaine are living happily together in New York in their small rented apartment. They don't have much money due to college and planning a wedding. How will their world be turned upside down when Kurt gets a phone call from the Lima Police department demanding that he appear at their office the next day? Kurt has to deal with something he can't even remember happening._

If so would you like me to start posting now, or once this fic is complete?


	22. 21:Where it all began

Advanced warnings to move violence, and i can not be held responsible for you wanting to crawl into the computer and wrap Kurt and Blaine up in hugs. Anyway yes i promised i wouldnt make you wait too long for this so here you go. And also for anyone who was intrested in the summary i posted with chapter 20, i put the first chapter of that story up. It's call Questions, Life and Family Bonds, and dont worry it wont take any focus away from this fic.

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"_You fucking incompetent bastard you burnt dinner. You complete fucking idiot," screamed Mark._

"_Yes I burnt dinner Mark it's an accident. Grace from the office rang and I couldn't ignore the call it was really important and I lost track of time. It's okay we can order in a takeaway," Kurt tried to reason with Mark, in no mood for an argument. _

"_No it's not alright Kurt, I don't ask much of you just that when I get in from work I can come in and have a nice meal with my boyfriend and you fuck it up."_

"_Oh Mark don't be like this it was a fucking accident."_

_**SLAP**__ Kurt stumbled backwards in complete shock what the fuck had just happened. "Don't you dare talk back to me, and don't you dare swear at me Kurt. I thought we made it clear who is in charge in this relationship."_

"_WE'RE MEANT TO BE EQUALS MARK!"_

_**SLAP **__"I told you not to fucking talk back to me." Mark grabbed hold of Kurt's jaw with so much pressure a single tear fell down his cheek. "Do you fucking understand me? You don't talk back!" Kurt managed to nod. "Good and no we are not fucking equals, I will always be superior to a sissy like you. Crying because you've been treated like a proper man."_

_Mark let go of Kurt's chin and Kurt sunk to the floor. What the hell had just happened? What had gotten into Mark? That wasn't the Mark he knew. He just sat there stunned unable to make a sound and unable to move, until Mark came back a while later and crouched down beside Kurt._

"_I'm sorry baby I didn't mean to get angry it's just been a crap day at work and I took it out on the wrong person. I've ordered a take away. Now come here sweetie," Mark said comfortingly. _

_Kurt didn't know what made him move into Mark's open arms but he did anyway. And it was one of the biggest mistakes he'd ever made in his life._

_That was the first day Kurt was hurt by Mark, and from that day it never got better. There was only one time that he tried to leave Mark other than the day he text Blaine. It had been another big mistake, and the reason he wondered why he managed to actually even text Blaine._

"_Kurt will you put those designs down now and come and spend some time with me?" Mark asked questioningly. _

"_In a minute Mark I need to get these done they are due in a week. You don't realize how important they are."_

"_No now I want you to come and spend time with me."_

"_No Mark I need to get these done."_

_Mark didn't like it when Kurt talked back and walked into the study where Kurt was working. "I said stop working now." It was said way too calmly for Mark._

_Kurt was fed up of this he was always spending time with Mark and putting his work second. This time he really couldn't afford to. "I said no Mark. I need to get these designs finished I am going to be about 15 minutes then I'm all yours. You don't own me and you can't tell me what to do."_

_Mark grabbed hold of Kurt's hair and yanked his head away from his designs so he was looking into Mark's eyes. There was a look in them that Kurt had never seen before and it scared the hell out of him._

"_I think you'll find as your boyfriend I do own you and hence can tell you what to do. Do you know what you can stop having contact with that Dad of yours and Rachel, they clearly aren't helping you learn any form of respect. You'll learn soon enough that you do whatever I fucking say."_

_Mark pulled Kurt to the bedroom by his hair, and its then that Kurt realized what the look in Mark's eyes was, a look of pure possession and power. Mark pushed Kurt on the bed and climbed roughly on top of Kurt so he couldn't move._

"_Seeing as you don't seem to realize I own you I'm going to fucking teach you that I fucking own your ass. You make a sound and I will make your life so much worse Kurt. I know who the people you love the most are and I'll make their lives hell." Kurt knew what was going too happened but he couldn't fight. How could he fight, he was weak._

_Mark pinned Kurt's hands above his head with one hand, whilst he reached down to undo Kurt's pants with the other. He quickly ripped them down before doing the same with his own. Kurt wanted to scream, the things that Mark was doing to him making him want to scream. But his body was also betraying him, and he was getting hard also. "I am going to teach you who you fucking belong to slut. Who do you belong to Kurt?"_

"_Y...y...you."_

"_That's right now I'm going to make sure you never forget that." Mark said as he suddenly lined himself up with Kurt and forced all the way in. Kurt felt like he was going to split in two. He wanted to scream but it caught in the back of his throat, he couldn't make a sound, as the tears quickly welled up in his eyes and poured down his cheeks. What the hell was happening to him?_

_Once Mark was finished he got up and walked out of the flat. Kurt decided that that was enough and he was leaving. He got up; in so much pain he didn't know how he was able to stand. He sent about packing a suitcase. He was just about the leave when the door opened, and Mark caught site of the suitcase._

_Five big strides and Mark's hand was around Kurt's throat, "Where the fuck do you think you're going. I'm pretty sure I made it clear you belong to me! You go nowhere unless I say so. You deserved every single thing that happened to you earlier. It's your entire fucking fault for being such an insufferable bitch. And if you tell anyone they won't believe you and they will tell you it's all just your fault and you asked for it. Tell anyone and I will make sure not only do you never see your dad again, but that your dad isn't on this earth to see anyone ever again." By this point Mark had Kurt by the neck pinned up against the wall. "YOU ARE GOING NOWHERE!" Mark said as he pulled Kurt forward before slamming him into the wall and everything went black._

However this time it didn't go black everything was bright. Why was everything bright? Where was he? Why is it bright? Kurt tried blinking a few times expecting for it to go black but it didn't. Then he realized he wasn't with Mark he was with his Dad and Blaine. Blaine and his Dad were crouching in front of him with looks of pure horror and concern on their faces.

"Don't let him hurt me again. I didn't ask for it I didn't. I really didn't I didn't want any of it. I tried to get out I really did. Don't let him hurt me please. I'm sorry. I don't want him to hurt me."

"Kurt…"

"I can't go back there. It's my fault. I told you I wasn't meant to tell anyway. He threatened you Dad, I'm sorry I broke contact." Kurt was talking faster and faster with each word.

"Kurt. I know it's not your fault you didn't contact. It's…."Burt couldn't handle this. He needed Kurt to stop, and realize it wasn't his fault.

"What the fuck have I done? I can't get hurt again I really can't. Please no, don't let him hurt me." By this point Kurt was in full panic attack mode Blaine didn't know how he was still talking.

Blaine didn't want to do this but he didn't have a choice "KURT!" Kurt almost jumped out of his skin, and the very next second Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt. That's when Kurt knew he was safe. These arms weren't dangerous or powerful, but soft and comforting. He let out all of the emotions he has kept locked away for the past three years.

"Kurt you are safe. I have you now, Mark will never hurt you again I promise. You didn't deserve any of that alright. I know it's hard but he can't touch you. We won't let him touch you." Blaine could feel how small and broken Kurt was underneath him and he knew he needed to get it all out.

"Come on let it all out." He said rubbing Kurt's back gently. "That's it; you don't have to keep any of it locked away. No one here is going to hurt you."

Burt placed a hand on his son's lower back making sure Blaine still had enough room to rub up and down his back. "Blaine is right kiddo. I'm sorry I didn't ever think something like this could be going on. We don't blame you. I love you. It will never be your fault, we're here now son."

Kurt couldn't comprehend it his dad still loved him, he was safe. They didn't blame him and they weren't going to let Mark hurt him. It was all too much for Kurt and he started sobbing harder. Blaine couldn't take it, he fucking loved this man and he was so broken. He scooped Kurt up in his arms, and sat on the couch with Kurt in his lap. Kurt gripping his shirt like a baby. It was all too much like old times.

"I promise you are safe Kurt." Was all Blaine could say, whilst continuing to rub Kurt's back. For the next 15 minutes it was silent apart from the sobs escaping from Kurt. After a while Kurt slowly removed himself from Blaine, turned and flung his arms around his Dad.

"I'm sorry Dad. I love you."

"Shh, shh kiddo it's okay. I know you love me, and I love you two. He is never hurting you again. Blaine, thank you. You saved my boy."

"Don't thank me Burt, let's just get Kurt better. That will be all the thanks I need." _If I wasn't an idiot Burt Kurt wouldn't be here at all. I fucking love him and I let that go and look what happens._

"I'm so glad you are safe Kurt. I know it doesn't feel like it now but everything will be okay. However I want you to do one thing for me. I want you to go back to the police and tell them everything." Burt said.

Kurt nodded. "I will Dad I really will. But please can I have my fashion show first. Since everything started to go wrong with Mark, I haven't had one that wasn't controlled by him. If I go to the police now in some way this will be controlled by him. I need to be free Dad. I feel so weak."

"Kurt you are anything but weak. You know that, I know these past few weeks have been hard for you. It's the abuse you've been having flash backs of isn't it."

"Yes. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you, I just….I was just scared you would blame me, or that he would find me Blaine. I'm sorry. That's why Blaine was with me this morning Dad; since I arrived I was having flashbacks in the form of nightmares. And well we discovered that if Blaine was in the room, on the floor, they didn't happen." Kurt pulled out of his Dad's embrace and snuggled himself into Blaine again, the only way he could think of to thank him. "He's been amazing Dad I wouldn't have coped without him. I don't know why they stopped with him but they just did and for now that's enough for me"

"I know kiddo, I know." _B_urt _knew why the nightmares stopped when Blaine was there. It wasn't just Blaine who was still in love with their ex. His son was in love with Blaine too. The way Kurt snuggled into Blaine's chest was exactly the way Lizzie did to him when she knew she was dying. Burt knew his son still had a way to go but he knew things would get better._

"It's over now."


	23. 22:Always second guessing

Sorry this has take me a while to update, i have been writing for all of my stories and sendign to my beta, and something made me forget about actually uploading the stories, so i will update every story in which the chapters have been betad

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Kurt had fallen asleep in Blaine's arms and he carried him through to the bedroom before going back to join Burt. Burt hadn't moved since he told Kurt it was all over. Burt looked exactly how Blaine felt, totally in shock. Blaine walked over to Burt and sat down on the sofa.

"I'm sorry Burt."

"What do you mean kiddo?"

"I mean I'm sorry this is all my fault. If I wasn't such an idiot back in senior year this would never have happened. Oh god Burt I can't believe what he's gone through. How is he still fighting? He's been through so much crap and so much of that is my fault," Blaine whispered, scared of waking Kurt.

"Hey, hey stop there Blaine. I know this is hard for you to accept but this isn't your fault. Yes okay you spilt up with him, but in a way I understand why. Your parents had special ways of playing with your mind. However you can't blame yourself for this. You have no idea what would have happened between you and Kurt if you hadn't spilt with him before he left for New York. You need to realize while what Kurt has gone through is awful, and right now I want to ring Mark's neck, you have to realize this is Mark's fault not yours. You didn't tell Mark to do those things, just like I didn't. I could sit here and blame myself just as much, I should have known something was wrong when he cut contact but after a while I didn't see what else I could do. However we can't sit here and blame ourselves. You know what Kurt needs us right now, he needs both of us. While he trusts me as a dad there may be things that he isn't willing to talk with his dad and I completely understand that. That's when he is going to need a friend and that is you Blaine," Burt explained, rubbing a soothing hand up and down Blaine's arm.

"I know Burt it's just so hard. I never imagined this would have happened. I knew there was something going on. When he first got here he was being really withdrawn and I knew it was to do with more than just what happened the morning I was at the flat. When he told me what he done to him the night before it killed me, I wanted to kill the man. Then for Kurt to tell me he didn't name the text because he feared it would make me not go. I would do anything for him Burt. I still want to kill Mark. I want Kurt to be able to get better. He is so talented Burt and I don't want anyone to mess up his fashion career. I feel so bad that Mark has been doing that. What are we meant to do Burt?"

"We are meant to stay as calm as possible, yes we can hate Mark with all we have, but we can't do anything to him." Blaine gave Burt a puzzled look he expected Burt to want to drive and get a shot gun. "Yes I know you thought I would want to kill him, and I do. However I know that it will not help Kurt. Kurt does not need either of us getting arrested over this, messing up the court case, especially not you; you will be called as a witness Blaine. We have to stay strong for Kurt. We have to be here when he needs to talk, we need to just sit back if he needs to scream and shout at someone and not react, we need to be that shoulder for him to cry on. Most importantly we need to make him see this is not his fault. I can tell from just looking at Kurt now he really does believe that."

"Oh god Burt this is such a mess. How can Kurt believe this is his fault? He is the most kind and compassionate person I've ever met. You know as well as I do he wouldn't hurt a fly. He forgives people for things that most people never would, look at Karofsky for example. Your right Burt he has to know this isn't his fault. However we have to make sure he doesn't forgive Mark, Burt. He can't forgive him for this. What I don't know however is how I am meant to help him believe this is not his fault when I believe it's mine."

"Right now you listen to me Blaine," Burt said sternly, "this is not your fault. No one in this house is to blame do you get me?" Blaine nodded slowly. "Right, good, because it's not Blaine. You may not realize it Blaine but you're a pretty strong minded and compassionate young man yourself. I've met your parents don't for one minute think I didn't wonder, how two people like them could have a son like you. You couldn't have turned out more differently from your parents Blaine, and that in itself is something. I know how much they use to put you down after you came out, but you didn't let it get to you. Well now is another one of them times when you have to prove how much better than them you are. You and I are going to help Kurt get through this. We are going to spend the time until his fashion show getting him to realize this is not his fault. He is going to have a fashion show that isn't controlled by anyone but himself, so the world can realize just how amazing he is, then we are going to support him every step of the way during the legal proceedings. I know you can do it Blaine, we have to stay strong for Kurt."

"Okay Burt. Sorry for this it's just so hard seeing him go through all of this. As I told you the other day I really do love him, I would do anything to stop him going through this right now." Blaine exclaimed.

"I know you would kiddo. I'm going to go try and get some shut eye, I don't think any of us will be any use if we are tired. And yes before you say anything, go and sleep in your room with Kurt you know he may need you. I trust you Blaine don't worry." With that Burt got up and left the room leaving Blaine to his thoughts.

Blaine really would kill Mark if he could. He had known things were bad when Kurt arrived but he really hadn't fathomed them being this bad. Everything he had said to Burt was true, he did feel like this was his fault, he wouldn't let it show, but deep down he felt so guilty. He would also do anything to take this pain away from Kurt, anything for it to have been him that went through this instead of Kurt.

Blaine got up and slowly walked into his bedroom. Kurt was curled up in a fatal position on the bed. His lips were parted slightly, and his hair was already becoming sleep mussed, but it wasn't this that Blaine noticed, it was how restless he seemed, even in his sleep. He would have given anything to be able to curl up on the bed behind Kurt and take him in his arms. However Burt had trusted him, and he knew that wasn't what he would want him to do. So instead he decided he would try singing to him again see if he could help Kurt get rid of the bad thoughts running though his mind. He like Burt had no doubts that Kurt thought he was at fault, he knew Kurt couldn't be more wrong however. Kurt was _perfect_.

Kurt:  
_Made a wrong turn, once or twice_

They had both done this, Blaine, had made, the biggest wrong turn ever leaving Kurt. Kurt had made a mistake getting and staying with Mark.  
_Dug my way out, blood and fire__  
__Bad decisions, that's alright__  
__Welcome to my silly life__  
__Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood_

Kurt had been mistreated in a way that he knew himself he would never understand. He did understand what it felt like to be misunderstood though. Being in a world where most people weren't to accepting of who you are makes you misunderstood by almost everyone._  
__Miss "no way, it's all good", it didn't slow me down_  
_Mistaken, always second guessing__  
__Under estimated, look, I'm still around_

Blaine knew people had always underestimated Kurt and his strength, but Blaine knew that Kurt was the strongest person you could ever meet.

_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel__  
__Like you're less than, less than perfect__  
__Pretty, pretty please, If you ever, ever feel__  
__Like you're nothing, you are perfect_

I know you will never know I'm singing this right now Kurt, but you really are perfect. Don't ever change for anyone.

_To me_

_You're so mean, (You're so mean) __  
__When you talk (When you talk) about yourself, you were wrong__  
__Change the voices (Change the voices) in your head (in your head) __  
__Make them like you instead_

Blaine knew that Kurt didn't think the most of himself. Always wondered if he should be different in some way. He knew that it came from many years of being told he was far from perfect, but he really is perfect.

_So complicated, __  
__Look how big you'll make it!__  
__Filled with so much hatred__  
__Such a tired game__  
__It's enough, I've done all I can think of__  
__Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same_

Back in high school Blaine knew they had both helped each other get rid of many demons from their pasts, he just hoped that he could help Kurt do it again.

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel  
Like you're less than, less than perfect  
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you're nothing, you are perfect  
_To me_

_The whole worlds scared so I swallowed the fear__  
__The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer__  
__So cool in line and we try, try, try,__  
__But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time__  
__Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere__  
__They don't like my jeans, they don't__ :__ get my hair__  
__Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time__  
__Why do we do that?__  
__Why do I do that?__  
__Why do I do that?_

This is how Blaine remembered the old Kurt. His Kurt. He just hoped that between him and Burt they could get this Kurt back, the one who didn't care what others thought, the one that had been through so much crap but always came out fighting.

Oh pretty, pretty please!  
Pretty, pretty please  
Don't you ever, ever feel  
Like you're less than, less than perfect  
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you're nothing, you are perfect  
To me!

Pretty, pretty please  
Don't you ever; ever feel  
Like you're less than less than perfect

****You are perfect to me!

Pretty, pretty please  
Don't you ever, ever feel  
Like you're nothing, you are perfect  
To me

When Blaine finished he couldn't help but take Kurt's hand in his and say it out loud.

"You are perfect Kurt. Don't ever change for anyone. I know you owe me nothing, but please get better. Nothing is ever going to make me forget this, but you getting better would at least give me some closure. I love you." Blaine didn't know why, but the last three words just slipped out without him even realizing it.

He was glad to see that Kurt's features seemed to have relaxed and that he didn't look like he was having an internal battle with himself. He gently placed Kurt's hand down before getting himself ready for bed. However sleep didn't come easily that night. Blaine's mind was full of guilt and thoughts of what could have been.


	24. 23:It took strength and courage

Seeing as i have been bad at updating resently i thought i would give you another chapter. Sorry it's a short one. Enjoy!

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Kurt awoke the next morning pleasantly surprised that he hadn't been hampered with nightmares and flash backs like the night before. He noticed Blaine asleep on the floor and wondered how long it had taken him to fall asleep after everything he had learned the day before. Kurt knew Blaine, and he knew Blaine would be blaming himself for all of this. However that was the last thing he wanted to happen. Without Blaine, Kurt wasn't even sure he would have made it through high school, and he most certainly wouldn't be here if Blaine hadn't answered his text message. No this wasn't Blaine's fault it was his own fault for being such a damn push over.

Kurt walked into the kitchen to see his dad was already up, and there was fresh coffee in the pot. Kurt walked over and poured himself some before sitting down at the kitchen table with his dad.

"He blames himself doesn't he." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"I, no I'm," Burt stuttered, he wasn't sure how to answer that.

"Oh, come on Dad, I went out with the man for over a year and a half, he blames himself and I know he does. He shouldn't and neither should you."

"I…I...don't"

"Dad!" Kurt exclaimed.

"Okay, okay, maybe I do, can you blame me son. I knew there was something wrong when you cut contact I should have done more. If I would have done more I could have stopped it before it started."

"No dad, it had already started. Mark knew you could tell when I wasn't being truthful, and he didn't want to risk it. It happened before I cut contact. It's my fault I was weak. I should have told you while I had the chance before he made me cut contact. It's just every time he showed me it was my fault, and that I deserved it. He would always make sure I was okay afterwards. It was me not him."

"No! You stop right there kiddo," Burt interrupted, "This is not your fault. You have to believe me, I know it's hard but you have to. You are so strong son, it takes a special person to come out and admit something like this has been going on, you did that. You took the hardest step, with no promise that the help you needed would come, you stepped over the edge." Burt took hold on his son's hands to get him to look up. "The thing is with people like Mark is that they are weak. They do what they do to give them power make them feel stronger, but they are not Kurt, they are sick. You, you are strong, so strong. You have been through so much in your life, so much I wish I could have stopped it, but it made you who you are today Kurt. You have such courage that not even you realize. I will do anything to make you realize that you are not at fault here."

Being alone with his dad and just hearing all of this the dam broke again. The tears started to fall. Before he knew it he felt strong arms wrap around him, he didn't flinch however, this was his dad and he felt safe.

"That's it kiddo, let it out. There is nothing wrong with cry, as you always used to tell me." It was true, Kurt had often told his dad this, when his mom had died for instance, even at the age of 8 Kurt told his dad it was okay to cry. He had been the strong one back then when his dad was struggling to keep it together, now his dad was being his rock.

Kurt continued to cry into his dad's chest as he continued to speak. "Your mom would be so proud of you Kurt. I know you don't feel like it now but she would. She would be so proud of all the adversity you have overcome. She'd be so proud that you chose to fight back to everything the right way especially this. You never let yourself sink to the lower levels; you always took the high road. You get that from your mom, she lives in you Kurt, and she always will. That's how I know you can get through this, your mom got through so much herself too, and that part of her in you is what's going to get you through this, she won't let you give up. I know it's going to take time, so for now all I want you to do it trust that this isn't your fault."

Kurt just stayed there, and allowed his dad's presence and smell to surround him, that feeling of home. He knew deep down his dad was right, he just had to dig deep and find where that belief was hidden, underneath everything Mark had always led him to believe. "I know dad, right now I don't believe it, but I know it's there. I know that deep down I know it's not my fault. I love you." Kurt whispered scared to break the spell that he was feeling wrapped up with his dad."

"I love you too Kiddo."


	25. 24:Getting Himself Back

Sorry I've not updated for a while; I started uni and it's really taken it out of me. I've been going to bed stupidly early so not even been coming on the computer. Hopefully once i get into the swing of things i going to sort out a set times every week to write and post, so i can keep the updates coming. Just a warning they may slow down but they wont stop

Also I'm on a bit of a hypo tonight as i got my new tattoo yesterday :D the word 'Courage' on my wrist, ive been convincing my hubby to let me have it done for ages.

* * *

Over the next few days things seemed to get easier. While Kurt still felt weak now everything was out in the open he wasn't carrying the burden alone. He knew if he felt like he was stumbling he had two very special people there to pick him up, and set him back on his feet.

He was being reminded everyday just how strong he was and that none of this was his fault. It was a slow process but he was slowly, ever so slowly starting to believe his dad and Blaine. Burt had informed Kurt that he was going nowhere until after the fashion show, Kurt wasn't too surprised at that, now he had his dad back he wasn't in too much of a rush to let him go again yet either. What did surprise him however was that his dad asked to attend the fashion show. He should have known really, his dad had got over the whole gay son thing a good few years ago.

Kurt couldn't remember the last time he'd ever felt so free. He knew that he had a lot of hard things that he had to do coming up, but for now he was putting them to the back of his mind until after the fashion show. For now he was taking control and he was doing what he wanted to do.

He walked into the living room where Blaine and his dad were watching football, picked up the remote and turned the telly off.

"Kurt, we were watching that."

"Yes, were being the optimum word Blaine. Come on get up and move we are going out to dinner and I am paying."

"I like the idea of dinner kiddo, but I will not let you pay."

"Dad, I will do what I want. I earn enough to treat my dad and my good friend to dinner. Now please stop arguing and get a move on." Kurt felt his heart flutter at the smile that appeared on Blaine's face when he called him a good friend. Before that he couldn't even remember what it was like for his heart to flutter it had been so long since it did so. If he was being honest with himself, which he wasn't he would have realized the last time his heart did anything of the sorts was when he was still dating Blaine.

An hour later the three were back in the living room ready to go out. Blaine was in red jeans that stopped at the ankles, a white button up and a black, white and red bow tie. Kurt was pretty sure the pants and the tie were almost identical, if not the same, as the ones Blaine had worn for his first day at McKinley. Burt was pretty much dressed the same as ever, how he had for once removed his cap.

Kurt was dressed in black skinny jeans, a deep red button up shirt, black silk waistcoat, and a black tie, his hair as in a perfect coif, and you could just smell the amount of hair spray he had used on it. Blaine still believed that it should be illegal for Kurt to wear pants like that.

Burt couldn't help but smile "That's the Kurt I like to see, even if it does mean you are wearing pants that look like you painted on." Kurt should have known his dad would comment but he couldn't help but smile. He was in his most loved clothes again.

"What can I say; every moment is an opportunity for fashion."

They decided to get a cab to the restaurant rather than having Burt drive and struggling to find anywhere to park.

They went to a lovely Indian restaurant which Kurt had eaten at often when he first moved to New York. They ordered their food along with a bottle of both red and white wine. The conversation seemed to flow just as freely as the wine did.

"I hope you don't mind but I have to meet with my manager tomorrow Kurt. It's been a while since I did my show, and she wants to talk about what it's led to and where I go from here."

"Hey, no that's fine; I'm surprised you've been able to take so much time off work from either job for me let alone off both jobs. I need to go into the office anyway. Why I have been doing a lot of work for the fashion show over the phone, it is just not the same as being in the office, I hate to admit it but some of the interns really are incompetent. The fashion show is 3 days from tomorrow I need to be in that office every day from now until then. I hope neither of you mind."

"No I don't mind, I'm sure my boss will be glad to have me at my every day job for a few days anyway."

"I'm sure I can do some sightseeing or something kiddo. Do whatever you need to, to make the show perfect."

"I will do, are you coming as well Blaine, I need to tell them how many people I'm expecting."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world Kurt. I wanna be there when the world realizes just how talented one Mr. Kurt Hummel is."

"I just hope you are right Blaine."

"Oh I don't doubt I'm right Kurt, I know I'm right." Kurt couldn't help but smile it was nice Blaine had so much faith in him. Whenever it came to things like this Mark had always put him down, told him something was wrong with this or the other. All Blaine had been was supportive.

"Well thank you Blaine, but enough about me. I know we have spoken briefly but how is everyone back home Dad."

"Brilliant, as I said, I keep trying to get Carole to slow down, she works to hard at that hospital. Finn is doing an amazing job with the garage, I never doubted he would but seeing him there he just seems so at home you know. Now that he doesn't have Rachel, I don't know in a way he has come out of his shell. Don't get me wrong she is a lovely girl, but was quite controlling over him."

"I will admit that yes that does seem about right for Rachel. Do you think he'll stay managing the garage?"

"I don't know, I would like to think he would he does an amazing job. However if he wants to move on I wouldn't stop him you know."

"Yes I know what you mean."

The conversation carried on in pretty much the same way for the rest of the evening. They spoke about what they had all done in the years they hadn't spoken. Burt's years in congress that had only finished a year previous, how Blaine had got into the music industry, and why it wasn't the only industry he was in, Kurt wasn't surprised to hear that Blaine's father was involved in that. Kurt told them about the few Broadway roles he had had, along with many other less meaningful topics. By the time they left the restaurant that had got though 6 bottles of wine between them and were all feeling very tipsy.


	26. 25:Remove you from the memories

A/N - Right first off an apology i know i have been awful at updating these past few weeks, uni has been hell these first few weeks, read this read that do this, arrrh and then the first part of our assesments are due in ok like the 5th November and we have to get all the back ground stuff done before we can start so yes, i dont remember the last time i got to write any fan fics, luckily i'm ahead in all my stories so i am positing a chapter from them all tonight. Sorry again, hope you enjoy.

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"Kurt would you mind watching dinner, I need to go and get a shower. I'm going out to a little gig tonight and I won't have time to shower after dinner." He should have known that Kurt wasn't listening when he noticed the photos. However when he heard Kurt reply with a "Yes, sure." He convinced himself that Kurt had heard him.

He went for his shower not worrying. While he was excited for his gig tonight he was even more excited about the fashion show tomorrow. He really couldn't wait. He got in the shower and allowed himself to relax; things had been such a whirlwind since Kurt had admitted everything that had happened with Mark. He was glad that Kurt seemed better but he knew that things would be hard before Kurt was truly better, god he still had to go to the police. He let the memories wash away, since Kurt had been living with him, his own writing had been going so much better, and he had so many new songs to try on the crowd tonight. He was really looking forward to seeing what reception he got. Burt had even decided to come and watch, saying it would give Kurt some time alone to get everything ready for tomorrow.

He was still shocked that Burt had asked to come though. Not even his own father had ever come to one of his gigs, in fact he hated the thought of Blaine singing. Also Burt wasn't just any dad, he was his ex's dad, the dad of the only boyfriend Blaine had ever had. That's right when Blaine split with Kurt he just couldn't date, or get with anyone else; he never had feeling for anyone in that way, as no one was Kurt. He didn't think anyone would ever make him feel the way Kurt had, but no, he couldn't be having these thoughts right now. He quickly finished up in the shower and got out, trying to stop his mind from wondering to unsafe territory again.

He got out of the shower and started getting dressed, that's when he realized he could smell something, not just something, something_burning. _Shit Kurt can't have been listening when I asked him to watch dinner.

He quickly slipped a t-shirt over his head, before heading into the kitchen. It seemed as if Kurt had noticed the burning too as Blaine saw him enter the kitchen as he walked about of the bedroom.

As he arrived at the kitchen he saw Kurt standing there, baking tray in his gloved hand. Muttering, "my fault, I'm sorry, my fault," over and over again. It took Blaine a matter of seconds to realize why, the first time Kurt had been hit by Mark he had burnt dinner. Blaine was going to try and give Kurt some better memories about burning food.

He picked up a tea towel and gently removed the tray from Kurt's grasp, Kurt flinched when he did so, and Blaine knew he was waiting for the punch, the punch that wasn't going to come. "No, I'm not going to hit you Kurt you burnt dinner. Gosh I've done it loads of times," Blaine admitted. He gently guided his arm around a still muttering Kurt, and guided him to the living room, away from the room with the memories that were linked to this specific event. As soon as he was on the couch Kurt seemed to remember where he was.

"How did you do that?" Kurt questioned.

"What stop you going into full panic mode because of bad memories?" Blaine saw Kurt nod.

"I took you away from the area that provided the memories. When you burnt dinner, it was the first time Mark hit you that happened in a kitchen. I know this time we were in my kitchen but it's still a kitchen. These memories are made worst by being in an area associated with the memories; if you're in a different place the memories don't have the same effect. It's psychological but normally works. I sat you on the couch, that's when you realized you weren't in the kitchen. If you weren't in the kitchen how could you about to be hit there, hence your brain gets its normal level of thinking back." Blaine explained.

"How do you know that?" Blaine had never told Kurt just how bad things were for him after the Sadie Hawkins dance, well now was the time.

"Do you remember back in your junior year, when I told you about the Sadie Hawkins dance when you asked me to prom?"

"Yes, but I don't see what that has to do with you just stopping me having a panic attack," Kurt admitted.

"Well I suffered pretty badly after that myself. How do you think I always knew what to do when you had your panic attacks? I had them, in the end I saw a therapist and she told that if I was remembering what happened; remove myself from the things that reminded me. My reminders always came slowly so I was about to remove myself. Your situation is slightly different so you go straight into a flashback, but I just hoped that by moving you it might have the same effect, and well it seemed to work."

Blaine felt Kurt take hold of his hand. "I'm sorry Blaine."

"Don't be sorry for having a flash back Kurt you can't help them."

"No, I'm sorry for reminding you of the dance." Oh now Blaine realized why Kurt was apologizing, but he had no reason, he was lucky, what happened at that dance was nothing compared to what Kurt had been thought and it really didn't affect him anymore.

"You don't need to apologize Kurt, it was a long time ago, and it doesn't have that effect on me anymore. It's just something that helped shape the person I am today." And it was true, many things had shaped the person he was now both good and bad.

It was strange as some of the things that should have shaped him in a bad way, such as the Sadie Hawkins dance, and his parents none acceptance of him, actually made him determined to never be like that. He was determined to always try and accept people for exactly who they were, and if he ever had kids to never expect anything of them that they wouldn't be able to live up to.

Some of the best things in his life, such as his partial music career often reminded him of good things instead of bad, like how much he had given up for his father, including Kurt.


	27. 26:Who Are You?

I feel like I am a zombie, i live in the uk so we aren't meant to get glee until january, i could not wait so ive been watching online, last nights episode i heard so much about i couldnt wait until it was morning over here, so i was up at 2am to watch it then couldnt get back to sleep. its now 21.31 so you can just guess how tired i am. However being tired does werid things to me, i've not had time to write for ages, but i wrote chapter 30 of this fic earlier today so i'm getting back into my writing ways which hopefully means updates will be more frequent again :D Review and let me know what you think, quite a light hearted chapter

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The next day Kurt was in a frenzy, this was it, his moment to shine he could not mess this up; and that was making him feel so damn stressed. Yes the line of work he worked in was stressful at the best of times but this was something else.

He got up early that morning and was ready to leave the house just a few minutes after Blaine and his dad stumbled into the kitchen looking for coffee. He yelled a quick "Bye make sure you're there by 6.30," before walking out of the door.

He'd been back to his office a few times since he basically moved into Blaine's, but nothing compared to the office on a day of a show, and for once he had more to do than usual, as this time his work was a main part of this show. He really had chance to make something for himself.

Kurt strode into the office with confidence he hadn't felt in years.

"Grace, I want everyone in the meeting room in 5 minutes sharp, can you inform them and go and get the drinks?" Kurt said in an authoritative tone as he passed her desk.

"Of course Kurt, I'll get right onto it," he heard her respond, but he was already striding into his own office, everything today had to be perfect. He sat at his desk and loaded his computer, to check the itinerary for the day, he knew he was needed to the venue but he needed to look at everything that needed doing and work out which members of his staff he needed where and when.

Kurt quickly printed it out and started jotting many notes on it, while his writing was impeccable if anyone was to look at what he had written no one would know. When it came to fashion he seemed to have his own code way of writing, while it would confuse anyone else it made things easier for Kurt. He quickly grabbed up all the other items and papers he needed before he went and sat at the he head of the office in the meeting room. It didn't slip his notice that one of the chairs was empty, he quickly worked out in his head who was missing from his 9 workers, Peter.

"Grace, where is Peter has he phoned to say he is going to be late?"

"No…" Grace was cut off by Peter running into the meeting room

"Peter you do realize you are," Kurt looked at his watch, "seven minutes late to work and 2 minutes late to this meeting." _Gosh I really am back to my old self I can't remember the last time I reprimanded a staff member for being less than 30minutes late._

"Sorry sir," Peter said quickly, moving to sit down. _Okay he really must be authoritative, his staff never called him sir, he was always known as Kurt._

"Don't make a habit of it especially not on days like today," Kurt spoke speaking directly at Peter, before turning to face the whole of his team.

"Right today is an important day not just for me but for all of us. I know it is my work being showcased tonight, but if things work out, all of us could benefit from this. I am going to outline the plan for the day, and then if there are any questions they can be asked once I am finished, is that clear," Kurt saw all 9 staff members nod, as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Good it is now 9:10; I am hoping this meeting will be finished by 10. That is when Jacey, Phaedra and Tom, are going to head to the show venue to meet the models. I would do it myself but I have a meeting with Kevin at 10:30. The three of you going to the venue first are responsible for making sure those models have everything they need and want, make sure they get to the right dressing rooms, if you are not sure if you can provide something I want you to call Grace, and I will personally come out of my meeting. However only call me if it is very important do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Kurt," he heard all three say together. He searched through his pile of paperwork looking for the correct items.

"This is a list of all the models you should be expecting if they are not with you by 10:25 I expect a phone call to my personal phone, this is a drawing of which dressing rooms they are in, and this needs handed to the hair and make-up stylists they have already been informed what I want done to each model but I want them having this as well."

"Okay Kurt you can trust us," Phaedra said as if trying to calm him down, he knew he was being different with his staff than normal, but not only did he feel able to take control now he didn't have Mark in his life, this meant so much to his life, he knew he needed to he could make it up to his staff with a staff meal a few days after the show, if everything went to plan.

"Good, I hope I can. As I have said already, Kevin and I will be in a meeting from 10:30, I don't want to be disturbed unless it is very important, he is my manger and I need to make sure he is happy with everything I have planned for tonight, while you all reap the benefits if this goes well, it is my neck on the line if it doesn't. I am hoping to finish up here at 12, and then Peter, Keris and Lily will join me in coming to the venue as well. I want the models ready to meet me by 12:15 I want to have a little talk with them as soon as I arrive. Peter, Keris and Lily you will be responsible for making sure all of the paper work and such like is sorted once you arrive with me at the venue, this is a list of everything and where it needs to be. Grace, Dan and Donna you will be left here to sort out the last minute paperwork and phone calls and you will join us at the venue at 4 pm sharp, and not a second later. At that point Jacey, Phaedra and Tom, I want all the models ready and we are going to have a final run through of the show. We will have a meeting after that, by which time it should then be time to greet our guests. Is everyone clear on what they have to do?" Kurt took another long swig of coffee; normally he trusted his staff to get on with things themselves so he didn't do this much talking this quickly. However today he was going to make sure everything was perfect, everything had to be perfect. He gave his staff members a few minutes to look over their respective bits of paperwork, before addressing them once more.

"Does anyone have any questions," when everyone stayed silent he spoke again, "I'll take that as a no, get going everyone, Phaedra, Tom and Jacey get off to the venue, everyone else that is staying here I am trusting you to know what you need to be getting on with. Grace I want to keep you for a minute. Sorry about my tone today team, everything has to be perfect, now come on lets all move, and make this a good day for all of us, and before you ask yes those of you in the office can have the radio on quietly, it becomes a distraction and it goes straight off." With that all Kurt's staff apart from Grace filed out of the room, and went in their separate directions

"Grace, did you proof read over my speech for tonight and is it ready for me?"

"I've done it 3 times; I was going to do it once more before I gave it to you if that's alright?"

"Yes that's fine, go get it done I have a few things I need to do in my office, please can you intercom me at 10:15 so I am not late for my meeting with Kevin."

"Of course I can, is there anything else?"

"Yes thank you for all your help this past month, I know it can't have been easy having me out of the office so much," Kurt was glad to see that Grace was smiling; she really was the most trusted member of the team. "Also when the interns arrive, try and give them the least important jobs possible for today, and I think they will need to take it in turns to be on constant coffee runs."

"Okay Kurt, I will be sure to make sure all of that happens. Do you want the interns to attend the show?"

"Yes, while some of them may be incompetent at times, they are still part of the team, send them home when you come to the venue order them to be with us at 6."

"Yes. By the way may I ask who you are and what you have done with my boss?"

"What?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Oh you know, just what I mean, Hummel, you haven't been like this with us in months. However I must say it is nice to have the boss I first started working for back. He seems more confident in himself, I like it."

"Why thank you, now get going you have a speech of mine to read."

"Yes, sir," she said in a teasing tone. With that she turned and walked out of the meeting room leaving Kurt alone. If anyone else used that tone today day and Kurt probably would have had them for the tone but she had done so much for him recently.

Kurt sat back down to give himself two minutes to go over everything in his head, and the only thought that came was - Gosh this is going to be one crazy day.


	28. 27: Things were going well

A/N -First of all thank you for all the reviews I've received. I am so sorry I've been so bad at updating lately. University is really taking it out of me recently, having to read journals and reports that are 80+ pages long and not just one, but a good few of them. I'm having a multi upload day and everything fic of mine that had a chapter ready to be uploaded will have one uploaded tonight. Please review and let me know what you think, it keeps me motivated to write more when I'm really tired from everything.

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The meeting with Kevin went better than expected; as Kevin left he had told Kurt he would see him at the show along with Sandra. Sandra was the head of the company he had pretty much expected to see her there but having it confirmed by his boss didn't make him feel any better. She had only ever attended one previous show where Kurt hadn't had any lines showing.

One he finished in the meeting with Kevin, he had another conversation with Grace. Anytime he wasn't at the office Grace was normally in charge but he still felt the need to give her instructions and pointers.

"Did you finish proof reading my speech?"

"Yes I did, here you go," Grace spoke, handing over the paper. "I can't see anything wrong with it. I moved a few things round but nothing has really been changed."

"That's brilliant. Are you going to be alright here, while I am at the venue? I mean it's like five or so hours until you send the interns home; I know only too well how much direction they can need."

"I'll be fine, and come on Kurt I think you forget you were an intern once. Yes, but not one that had no idea what I was doing, some of them have been working here 5 months and still have no idea. I'm sure I knew more than they do know on my first day."

"Oh come on we all know you're a big softy really." Kurt just shook his head; if he was being honest it was true. "As I said though, I will be fine here. All the interns are occupied at the moment anyway so they should be busy for a while."

"Okay, but I want them all rounding up I want a meeting with them, about what I expect tonight, only Holly and Zara have been to a show before, and you know I don't trust some of them." Kurt caught Grace rolling her eyes at him, good job it was a common occurrence.

"Very well, go get yourself a coffee, and I'll get them into the meeting room with you in ten."

"Thank you." and Kurt decided he would listen to Grace and get himself a coffee."

The meeting with his interns was as tedious as Kurt had expected it to be. He had to explain to them all in detail what was expected of them, and why. He couldn't believe he was doing something so menial on such an important day, but he couldn't risk any of them messing up. Only Zara seemed to have any idea what was really going on. By the time he was done with the interns it was time to leave for the venue, so he rounded up Peter, Keris and Lily and told them it was time to leave. He also decided that seeing as Zara actually seemed to be interested in learning the ropes properly he would take her with him too. Kurt could tell she had natural talent she was just shy about it, he hoped this experience would help with that a little, give her some confidence in her own ability.

Once he arrived at the venue, he was glad to see that Jacey, Phaedra and Tom seemed to have everything under control like they assured him they would. He should have known they would; his full time staff had hardly ever let him down. He was so pleased with their work he sent Zara to get coffee and lunch for all the workers and sent a message to Grace to have one of the interns her end do the same.

While waiting for the lunch to arrive he met individually with every model to check everything seems to be in order. He was meticulous when it came to things like his models, and while he had seen them all before he insisted on seeing them all individually on show day too. Yes he maybe in the fashion industry but he refused to have sick thin models, which seemed to be verging on being anorexic. He instead went for people who were more normal in everyday life. The reason for this was he remembered only too well his time on the Cheerios. He remembered how Sue disapproving of his and Mercedes body image had affected them both. He just hoped that was the right decision tonight it was one thing doing it as a side-line act but as the feature he wasn't too sure. No, he shouldn't think like that he'd got this far being different and that wasn't going to change now, even if he wanted it too it would have been too late.

All too quickly he was being joined by Grace, Dan and Donna from the office and they were doing the final run through. Kurt jotting down all the little things be wanted changing. He was trying to treat it as any normal show but he couldn't he knew this one was special. Much more special than any previous had been perhaps his first and that was special for a different reason.

All too soon it was 5 o'clock and Kurt was dressed in a suit from his current line and out meeting his guests. He caught a glimpse of his dad and Blaine and was about to try and speak to them when he heard Kevin call his name, he turned to see Kevin standing alongside Sandra.

He walked up to them and greeted them. "Evening Mr. Picker, Ms. Barnes," he said to each of them shaking their hand. He may normally be on first name terms with Kevin. Like him Kevin was normally pretty laid back however first name terms were never used to address someone higher than yourself in front of your highest boss.

"It's lovely you could attend Ms. Barnes," Kurt said trying to impress his boss.

"I wouldn't miss a staff member's first headline show for anything." Kurt could only nod, "Oh don't look so nervous this could only make or break your career." Kurt knew she was trying to make him feel better, by having a joke, but it was having the opposite effect and he visibly paled. He was glad when he heard Grace call his name.

"Ku...Mr. Hummel." He was glad she had realized her mistake in this company without him having to reprimand her.

"If you would excuse me that is one of my staff so I need to check there are no problems."

"Go ahead we look forward to seeing your work." He turned and walked towards Grace. Hoping that there weren't any problems and he just needed to meet someone else.

"Thank you for remembering to call me by the correct title then, can you get that message to all my staff. All staff above them no matter who needs addressing properly during this show. I forgot to mention it in the meeting. Anyway what did you need me for, is there a problem?"

"Actually I'm afraid there is," okay that was what Kurt had been dreading. "Wardrobe malfunction, one of the models got part of her dress caught in the door. I think it's fixable but I think it will be something you want to do yourself."

"Today of all days, I have never once had a wardrobe malfunction during a show, and I have one today. Show me where." He was led by Grace to the dressing room of the model in question, where he quickly assessed the damage. Luckily he could fix it, but he knew he couldn't be disturbed whilst doing so. He quickly formed a plan in his mind and once again addressed Grace.

"I have an hour to get this sorted, which I believe I can do if I get left alone. You are in charge of none important decisions until I am done, any big problems come straight to me, other than that I need to be left alone. I trust you with my life here Grace, don't mess up."

Well thing weren't going as great anymore.


	29. 28: Unexpected visitors

I am sorry this has taken me so long to be able to get up, so much has been going on. I am going to try and turn Tuesday into my posting day, meaning i will update all my fics hopefully once a week on a tuesday, this will be dependant on many things my beta included however.

Also i wrote the final chapter of this fic a few days ago, but i left it in such a place that I will do a sequel :D

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Luckily all the times he had made his own clothes, or altered shop brought clothes, back in high school had done him well. It wasn't something that he did much anymore, he was more drawing and designs but he hadn't lost his touch. He didn't think he ever would, his mom had taught him to sow when he was little, before she had become ill.

He actually managed to get it finished sooner than he expected and was able to get back out to meet more guests. He greeted a few more people both from the company and fashion magazine and the like, before he made a beeline to his dad and Blaine.

"Hi, sorry I couldn't come over to you before; I was just about to come over when I was cornered by Kevin and Sandra. Then there was a wardrobe malfunction, and everything has just been so hectic since then, I've only got a few minutes here now actually."

"Wow, slow down kiddo. One, who are Kevin and Sandra and two, I don't think I have ever known you to have a wardrobe malfunction Kurt, you are so particular about what you wear." Trust his father not to understand.

"Kevin is my boss, and Sandra is head of the company. She said she always attends a designer's first headline. I'm so freaked about her being here. Also the wardrobe malfunction isn't mine; it was one of my models. Don't ask me how but she got her dress trapped in the door. It's strange though as she has been a model of mine at every single show my work has been in. I don't know whether it's the headline getting to her or what. Anyway that doesn't matter as thank god I made my prom outfit back in junior year of high school, as I managed to patch it up. I've had every member of my staff check the outfit over and, other than Grace who knew there was a problem, no one could tell."

"You always did have a talent Kurt, you know you shouldn't be nervous right, I've seen the work you've been doing at mine these past few weeks, it's amazing Kurt." How was it that out of all the people who had been trying it was Blaine who seemed to be able to help him calm down?

"I know thank you Blaine, it's just this is a big step in this kind of career. I suppose you could compare it to the gig you did last month, this means just about as much to me as that did to you. However other than minor acting roles I don't have anything to fall back on, like you do." He felt Blaine's hand on his shoulder and was glad he had come far enough not to flinch or tense at the contact.

"Listen you'll be great Kurt. Now go on don't worry about us we can see you back at the flat tonight, go and talk to your guests and get ready to blow everyone away."

"He's right kiddo you will do amazing I'm proud you, I will see you later." With a pat on the back from his dad Kurt was off. He just wanted time to go faster now so he can get the worst bit out of the way.

All too quickly for Kurt its happening. He's back stage about to walk out and introduce his line to the audience, an audience who has pretty much come out to see him and his work. And that's a very scary thought, not one he wants to be having right at this moment. He steps out onto the stage and the only thing in his life that ever felt similar to this, was his first competition solo, back in high school. The solo he sang with Blaine for the Warblers. Yes that does feel like this, and he managed to do that and people liked it so he can do this.

He steps forward towards the microphone hands shaking slightly. A mantra of most of your work is over once you make your speech is over.

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to tonight's shows. We will be showcasing some fabulous spring lines tonight. Most of them are from the 'Ambitious' range, which I am the designer of. I would like to thank everyone tonight that has come out here to see my work and support me. I would like to thank Mr. Kevin Picker my boss," Kurt chanced a glance over at Kevin who gave him an encouraging nod, "and Ms. Sandra Barnes our boss for giving me this opportunity, without her, none of us would have this opportunity so thank you. I must say thank you to every single member of my staff, who have worked incredibly hard to get here tonight, and who have made me proud. Most of all I would like to thank my dad and close friends, without them I wouldn't be here tonight at all. I will wrap this up now by saying I hope you enjoy yourselves."

Kurt glanced over at Burt and Blaine to see them both beaming at him. Seeing the support coming from the two of them he couldn't help but let his own smile grow wider. He turned around and headed back stage. All he could really do was trust that his models would do their best job possible in showing off his lines. He could also stay behind the stage or he could take a seat in the audience, and actually enjoy this being about him – he had enough staff members the second definitely sounded more appealing. He could take more back stage control during the show if there was a next time, but just in case there wasn't he needed to enjoy this.

Kurt sat in the audience by the stage door, to allow him to get back to his staff quickly should the need arise. He was quickly stuck into the magic of watching people wearing his work. There was something different about seeing a model at a photo shoot in all of his pieces, to see many different people displaying his pieces live to many people.

All too quickly for Kurt it was over and he didn't think he'd ever heard an audience applaud so loudly. He could be mistaken because he was in the crowd but they seemed to really like what they had seen; well he really hoped that was the case.

He walked back stage to see all of his staff members and models waiting for him. It seemed that even though he hadn't been the harshest of bosses at his years with the company they knew what he expected of them. He motioned to Grace and the two of them slipped into his dressing room to fetch the champagne. Yes his staff deserved it.

Once back with his staff he began to speak. "First of all I would like to thank every single one of you," he looked around making sure to catch every single one of them in the eye, hoping they would realize just how grateful he was. "I know I haven't been around as much as I should have been over this last month or so, I have reason. Reason that I think you will find out in the end but not yet. I want to say thanks that all of you have respected that and that you have all kept working to your best standards without me there. I know that it was my work showcased tonight but without all of you I wouldn't be there. All of you should be very proud of yourselves. I will say that the audience seemed to go mad once the shoot was finished. To all of my full time staff members I will ask that you remember that after this we are due in there for interviews and such. Remember interview etiquette and please think about what you are revealing before you speak. I have just realized I'm rambling even more than my speech earlier, so I'm going to cut us short there and propose a speech to all of us and 'Ambitious'"

There was a collective round of cheers followed the clinking of glasses. Right now seeing his staff together then, even if things didn't take off his staff couldn't have done anymore they had all really been amazing.

His dad and Blaine had caught him, congratulated him and told him they were going to for a drink to celebrate his work. He was told he was very welcome to join them once he had finished or if not that they would see him back at Blaine's. Kurt couldn't blame them for not hanging around; he had a feeling these interviews were going to take the good part of an hour or two.

Kurt was used to doing interviews that they always seemed to pass in a blur as if he was on auto pilot, even the shows he didn't headline, people always wanted to speak to him about his improvements, aspirations and such. Today was not different other than; it was much more about the clothes that were showcased, instead of too much about the future.

Once his last interview was wrapped up he was approached by Sandra again, however this time she was alone, and it was Sandra who addressed him first.

"I must say Kurt that was some show. I must remark on your bravery to use models that are not shall we say the norm in this industry. May I ask why that was?"

Kurt thought for a moment before speaking. "I make my lines as a way for people to be able to express themselves. People that maybe wouldn't have any other way of expression, I believe that these people are not stick thin models but real people. That is why I chose to have my line represented by more realistic images of people in the world."

"Am I right to believe it has been what you have done in every single one show you have been in?"

"That is correct Ms. Barnes," now he was nervous maybe he had made the wrong decisions.

"I admire that, too many people in this industry try something different when they are finding their feet, then when it comes to the important shows they revert back to what is seen as the norm. I am impressed that you were not one of them. I am very impressed with this show as a whole. I am here to ask you to attend a meeting with me, next week on Tuesday at 1 pm." Oh god so she tells me that she liked the show before she serves the blow about wanting a meeting why would she want a meeting she never wants a meeting. "It is something I ask everyone who has just headlined to do. It gives me more time to know about you, and see some more of your work and other things." Okay well that makes things slightly better at least it isn't just me she is doing this for.

"I can understand that, and yes of course I will be there. Thank you again for attending."

"Very well Kurt. I must be off now, Bye."

"Bye Ms. Barnes."

Kurt had decided that he would go and join his dad, after all the last month had been so full of ups and downs he was going to let his hair down a bit. He wasn't going to do that in said suit thought so he headed for his changing room. Just as he got back stage he heard something that made his blood run cold.

"Hey babe good show." He'd know the owner of that voice anywhere.


	30. 29: Wildest Dreams

Sorry this is a day late I had no internet yesterday other than on my phone so I couldn't get on to upload. But it's here now I Hope you enjoy, let me know :D

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"Mark." Kurt turned and there he was not a few steps away. Kurt felt like his whole world was crumbling around him. This couldn't be happening now not when things had been going so well. He thought Blaine had informed many people when he rang work those few weeks back that Mark would not be welcome at the show.

"What…what are you doing here?" He questions unable to stop his voice from trembling.

"I wanted to see my wonderful boyfriend, and be here to support him tonight on one of the most special days of his life." No! No! This couldn't be happening; Mark had never yet watched one of his shows why now. He was sure it wasn't because Mark had good motives. "Well don't I get a hello hug and kiss? I haven't seen you in almost 6 weeks."

Kurt was about to protest when Mark stepped forward, placed both hands on his face and kissed him. Of all the things to be reminded of in this moment Karofsky kissing him had to be one of the worst. Just like then he froze he couldn't return the kiss but he couldn't pull away either.

Kurt felt Mark pull back from the kiss, and slide his hands down from his face, down his arms, to hold his hands. As much as he wanted he couldn't pull his hands away from Mark's.

"Oh come on sweetie, no need to be so scared. I'm your boyfriend. I'm so proud of you tonight, you did such a good job, and everyone here seemed to love you. I am sure that you will go far after tonight." Well this really was a change in Mark's tune; normally he hated anything to do with Kurt's fashion work.

"I…erm…thanks."

"Oh come here, it doesn't have to be like this Kurt." Kurt felt himself being pulled in for a hug he didn't even remember doing it but it took only seconds before his head had found its old space on Mark's shoulder. He took a deep breath and took in the scent of what he could only call home. As much as he hated what had happened with Mark that smell had been home to him for so long.

He felt Mark begin to rub his back gently and he couldn't help but begin to relax. It was like Mark's strong arms were commanding him to do so and he couldn't disobey them. After a while Kurt spoke up.

"Really though Mark, why are you here?"

It was a while before he heard Mark responding. "The honest answer is I miss you Kurt."

Okay no, now his guard was definitely going back up he was not letting this happen, he pulled away from Mark's grasp but couldn't look him in the eyes. "What you mean is you miss me being your punching bag and fuck toy?"

"Now, now sweetie, no need to be like this," as Mark was speaking Kurt felt Mark's hand come into contact with and caress his cheek. Kurt was internally cringing, but he couldn't show Mark this he needed to act strong. He couldn't show Mark that he could still get to him.

"You shouldn't be here Mark. There were strict instructions to not allow you in tonight, so how are you here?"

"Oh, you know me, I have my ways. I would have done anything if it meant I could see you here tonight. You really were amazing." Kurt really wanted to believe the words but no, this was Mark he couldn't.

"I missed you so much but I had no idea where you were. I want you to come home so badly. I thought it was only fair to give you your space. I also didn't have any other idea how to find you. I thought that I had given you enough space. We have both had time to calm down. I've changed Kurt, and I've missed you like crazy. I know I never said it enough but I do love you, you know." Kurt really didn't want to believe him, but then Mark was moving forward to catch his lips again. It was so long since he felt loved in this way. Yes he dad loved him but it was different to this. This time he couldn't help but respond to the kiss. He didn't know if it was by choice he responded or because his body felt like it couldn't deny Mark. Couldn't refuse him what he wanted because Mark was who mattered.

As they pulled away Mark spoke again, "There we are, that's _my _old Kurt back." Kurt looked up at Mark to see him beaming and the smile really did seem genuine, well why wouldn't it be. He had left him alone so far, if he wanted to hurt him he would have done it already wouldn't he. Kurt let a smile slowly start to grow on his own face.

"Also babe, I've have time to think about something we had a conversation about once." Kurt watched Mark dig around in his bag and pull out some booklets and paperwork, which he was soon handed. Kurt looked down and couldn't help but gasp. This was all he had ever wanted.

"You…you…you got this for me?"

"Yes, don't act so surprised, I know it's something you always wanted. Being on my own in that flat these past few weeks, I realized it wasn't just you missing it was a family. I want you to come home, have a fresh start and slowly look into getting a surrogate. I want you to father my children Kurt."

Kurt couldn't help the tears that formed in his eyes. It was 3 years or more they had this conversation. "You remembered the conversation?"

He watched Mark nod, "How could I forget?"

When he had brought it up with Mark, Mark had been so unsure that Kurt had told himself it would never happen; that he would have Mark but they would never have a family. When he was younger and realized he was gay he'd never thought he'd have a family then either. He knew how the world was for gays back then. But now he had a chance to have all his dreams come true.

"Yes, oh Mark, yes I want a family with you. I can come home?"

"Yes you can. I saw your father here tonight, and I know he is expecting you somewhere though. Go to him tonight so you don't worry him, and come home tomorrow. I'll be waiting. I really do love you Kurt."

Then it slipped out, "I love you too Mark."


	31. 30: Thank You

**A/N - **I realise that a lot of you don't like what I did with Mark and Kurt in the previous chapter, so i thought i would upload this to get the story moving slightly, (there is only 3 chapters left after this - but there will be a sequel), but more importantly to tell you that there is a reason for the previous chapter. What a lot of people don't realise is that once you have come out of a relationship like Kurt had and you seem to be healing, the person who caused you so much pain for a long time after still has a certian type of hold on you. You have to remember it is someone who's been controlling him for years. In this kind of relationship the abused can be manipulated without even knowing it by the abuser, and this can be the case for a long while after they break free. So yes thats the reason for the previous chapter. I can't say much else without giving too much away, so i will just say things will be answered in the last 3 chapters, but just trust me that it was needed for the story, (and so often happens in real life with people who have been in abusive relationships) - end of long authors note.

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Kurt knew he had to bide his time he couldn't go back to his flat with Mark while his Dad was still in New York so he didn't go back to Blaine's and pack straight away. His dad was going home the next day, leaving him in 'Blaine's capable hands' or so his dad thought anyway.

He decided that he would join them for a couple of drinks, he hadn't seen his dad in so long before this trip of his to New York, and while he was going back to Mark, Mark had promised he could see his family still, he was still going to make the most of his dad right now, Lima and New York aren't exactly next door.

He was glad that he was dressed well but not over dressed from the show, he never wanted to over show his models but he never wanted to look too ordinary either, he felt just right for the bar he was joining his Dad and Blaine at.

He walked into the bar and saw his Dad and Blaine sitting there, he had to stop for a moment and just take it in. It reminded him so much of the old times, when him and Blaine were a couple back in high school – oh how easy things had been back then. Blaine had never had a good relationship with his dad and Kurt knew his dad had taken Blaine under his wing back then. Watching the two of them laugh like that reminded him of the family dinner the three of them had had half way through his senior year. Finn and Carole had been away visiting Carole's sister. Blaine had been coming to Friday night dinners for a few months now, and he had sat and watched his dad and Blaine talk about football and all other sports that Kurt hated. However he hadn't minded, to see his dad laughing with his boyfriend meant so much to him, he knew his dad accepted him and who he was but that had cemented it for Kurt.

Watching this scene now he couldn't help but be reminded of that, and how even before things turned bad Burt had never had that kind of relationship with Mark. He couldn't dwell on the past, it was exactly that his past his future was looking brighter again, a future with Mark.

Kurt walked towards his dad and Blaine; it seemed his dad spotted him half way across the floor as he mouthed, 'What do you want to drink?'

Kurt mouthed back 'Red wine please," he had never been one for beer. He watched his dad stand up and walk towards the bar, and walked towards the table that now only had Blaine sat at it. He was trying to think of something he could say to Blaine for all he had done for him this past month without giving anything away about the fact he was moving out. Yes it was his decision in the end but he knew if Blaine or his dad knew they would stop him and right now he wasn't ready to deal with that.

As Kurt got to the table and sat down Blaine spoke to him. "You did a wonderful job tonight, do you know that?" Kurt looked up into Blaine's eyes and he could see nothing but honesty in them.

"Thank you Blaine," Kurt responded looking directly at Blaine, "I also have to thank you for everything you have done for me this past month without you I don't think it would have been possible." Blaine had helped him out there, he had related the thank you to tonight's show but it had a hidden meaning of thanking him as a final thing before he left.

"You don't need to thank me, Kurt, I would have done it for anyone trust me. I mean I could never leave a friend in that situation and you know it." He had to smile at that just over a month ago he hadn't spoken to Blaine in X years and now they were friends again.

"What are you smiling at?" Blaine questioned him

"You, I mean you said friends, and if you answer honestly 2 or 3 months ago did you really think we'd ever see each other again let alone be sat here as friends?"

It seemed Blaine needed a moment to think as he didn't respond straight away just let him think over his answer. "If I'm being honest I always had a feeling we would become friends again, I don't know why I just did I mean we helped each other through so much in high school, however I never thought it would be in these circumstances, and you obviously know I wish it wasn't in these circumstances."

Kurt nodded in response trying to think of something more to say, what should he say to that? Luckily he was saved by his dad coming back from the bar, carrying a glass of red and two bottles of beer. Normally Kurt would say something to his dad about the beer seeing as there was already 4 bottles on the table, meaning his dad had probably already had two. However he just couldn't find it in himself tonight he wanted to enjoy the time with his dad before he went back to Lima.

Enjoy himself was exactly what he did; all three of them did in fact. They talked about everything and anything from sports to politics to fashion, some things of more importance than others, but the conversation flowed easily, and all three men were tipsy by the time they left to go back to Blaine's flat.

They all got into the taxi still feeling very merry all talking louder than needed.

"I'm gonna miss you when I go back tomorrow kiddo. You gotta promise me you'll look after yourself, you're my little boy and I don't want you hurt." Kurt felt the breath catch in his throat; he couldn't actually say the word promise to his dad when his plan was to go back to Mark tomorrow. So he said,

"I am gonna miss you too, and I will look after myself." That wasn't a lie he was looking after himself and what he wanted in life, kids, with Mark.

Kurt was glad his dad bought what he had said then listened to him addressing Blaine. "I can't thank you for what you've done for Kurt, Blaine. Please keep it up and make sure he stays strong through the next few months. He's gonna need someone like you."

Kurt couldn't help but feel awfully guilty he was going again both of these men after everything that had happened in the past month, gosh so much had just happened in the past few days.

"I will do Burt; you can have my word on that one. I'm sure Kurt will agree with me that you need to keep an eye on your own health so you can be back here supporting him in a few months time."

Kurt just nodded in response glad that they were pulling up at Blaine place. Kurt saw his dad begin to take out his wallet, but stopped him. "Dad don't be silly, it was my show tonight and it was a really big success I'm paying." Kurt saw his dad open his mouth to argue "No dad, no buts," Kurt said firmly. He knew the show itself was going to earn him a decent amount of money he wasn't going to let his dad pay for the taxi. Once they got inside Blaine's flat Kurt was glad that everyone quickly went their separate ways, and that Blaine didn't try and sleep in the room that night, it would make everything easier the next day.


	32. 31: Saying Goodbye

A/N - I Just want to say thank you to everyone who had reviewed this story. I managed to get the first chapter of the sequel written the other day, i had writers block on it but not it's written. So anyway only 2 more chapters to go after this one. Hope you enjoy.

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Saying goodbye to his dad was hard. He had so many memories of saying goodbye to his dad, and they were all sad in some way or form. There was the time when he came to New York for nationals in his junior year, he was happy to be going to New York but it was the first proper goodbye when he and his dad wouldn't be in the same state. There was the goodbye the first time his dad went to Washington, while he was happy his dad had made it so far it gave him an insight to what New York would be like without his dad and it was very different. Then there was the goodbye before this one, over 2 years ago, a good bye that Kurt didn't realise would be his last for so long, he couldn't remember anything happy about that goodbye.

However Kurt had to put all that to the back of his mind and focus on the positive, he was sending his dad home, and his dad had seen him and knew he was safe. His dad being back in Ohio would give him time to move back in with Mark and get settled down before informing his dad as to why and when, without the risk of him flipping out from being in New York.

Kurt said he would carry his father's bags down to the car so that he could wave goodbye from outside, they offered for Blaine to come with them but he declined saying it would give the Hummel men a few minutes alone, and he would start on preparing dinner for him and Kurt, as even though they had only just eaten lunch Blaine wanted to do a stew and he wanted to leave it cooking for a good few hours.

As he walked down the stairs his dad's bags in hand, he tried to get Mark out of his mind for a while. Yes he was so excited of the prospect of having the children he had wanted for so long, but at the same time he knew it was going to take a while for them to build things up together. He also wanted to be able to focus properly on his dad, he knew this wouldn't be a goodbye like last time, but he lived in New York and his dad still lived in Lima so it could be a while before they saw each other again. He could focus on Mark and their future when he was packing later.

Just before Burt went to get in his truck Kurt found himself pulled into a very tight hug by his father; if he was honest it was these kind of moments that he had missed the hugs, the moments that had actually started back up in Kurt's sophomore year after he finally had the guts to come out to his father. They shared "I love you's" and then Kurt watched his father climb into the truck and drive away. Now Kurt had time to think about him and Mark, knowing he would get a text or call once his dad was safely at home.

Burt could tell something was going on with Kurt he just couldn't tell what. The night before in the taxi he asked his son to promise to look after himself, while in other words he said he would he didn't promise, and Kurt normally promised him anything.

Then there was how lost in his own world he had been at many points during that day, over breakfast, then when they were having a conversation about what the future was going to hold for all of them, and a few other points. Along with the weirdest one just now before he had got into his truck. Kurt unbeknown to himself it seemed had zoned out for around 5 minutes, Burt didn't want him to know he'd picked up on it so didn't acted shocked when Kurt finally started talking again. However he knew something was up with his son. He didn't like going behind his son's back but after so long of not seeing him he didn't feel like he had any choice. He got himself into his truck and drove away acting normal. However, at the first possible point he pulled over and texted Blaine.

_I don't know what but something is up with Kurt. He is acting weird I can't go back to Lima while he is like this. I am going to find a hotel and if things seem okay tomorrow I will then drive home then. Please text me if things seem off to you, or to let me know if everything is alright tomorrow. - Burt_

It didn't take long for him to get a reply.

_I agree Kurt doesn't seem his normal self once more, he hasn't since sometime yesterday. I will keep an eye out on him and text you if anything happen. – Blaine._

Burt was just glad he could rely on Blaine right now, and that Kurt wasn't alone.

Kurt tried to act as normal as possible for the rest of the day. He thought it would seem easier when it was just him and Blaine but if he's being honest it was actually harder. Especially when the stew Blaine cooked for them brought back so many memories.

They sat at the table together a bottle of red open in between then, and as soon as Kurt took his first mouthful he knew exactly what it was. It was the exact stew that Blaine had made him the first time he cooked for him, after their dates went from taking each other out to feeling more comfortable to cook for each other, Blaine had told Kurt he could cook many things very well but he could make a good few types of stew. Kurt didn't think Blaine had internationally cooked the exact same stew from that first dinner at Blaine's house all those years ago. However that didn't stop it brings back many memories. Kurt knew then he zoned out for a while but he just couldn't help it.

Once they had finished dinner and the wine, Kurt insisted on clearing up, Blaine cooked after all. However the second the first pot is on the drying rack Blaine is next to him with a tea towel in hand, drying the pots. Again this brings so many memories. It was in this very kitchen washing up for the first time that he dropped a glass, that lead him to spilling so much of his past to Blaine. Then there was the incident just the other night over the burnt dinner when Blaine had been so caring and managed to stop him having a freak out without really even having to try. It also brought memories of both his and Blaine's house's back in Ohio. Once they got more comfortable with each other they didn't just cook for each other every now and then they cooked together most nights, and once they were finished one would always wash and one would always try, everything was always equal. _Equal._ Kurt felt like he'd forgotten the meaning of the word over the past few years.

Kurt excused himself to bed pretty early that evening using the excuse that he was tired from the late night the night before, and the fact that had been up early this morning to give them the most time possible with Burt this morning.

Kurt knew he wouldn't be able to sleep even if he wanted to. He just lay on the bed thinking about what it was going to be like in a few years with him and Mark, maybe in a house instead of an apartment, with children probably one boy and one girl, the perfect little family. While he could think about what it would be like he couldn't image it, he couldn't create a picture in his brain. He could always picture his future in his mind. He just passed it off as nothing being in the right surroundings, he was at Blaine's apartment with Blaine in the other room after all. Not at his and Mark's apartment with Mark.

Around an hour or so later Kurt heard Blaine go into the spare room to sleep, it was still set up from where his dad had been staying. He waited another half an hour to make sure Blaine would be asleep until he started to pack.

While he made sure he packed everything with the greatest care, he did it quicker than even he thought was possible. It showed him just how desperate he was to get back to Mark. He slowly started to carry the few cases to the door, once he got them all to the door he would put them all outside and so that once he shut the front door he didn't have to go back in less chance of waking Blaine that way, not that he was too worried Blaine was normally a heavy sleeper.

He was carrying the last bag towards to front door when he heard it. Nothing more than a whisper but laced with worry.

"Where are you going Kurt?"


	33. 32: Arguments and Confessions

A/N Sorry this is a day late, a family member of mine died yesterday so coming to update this was the last thing on my mind. However it's here now, and i'm sad to say it's the second to last chapter, hope you enjoy

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Fuck that wasn't what he wanted to happen. He knew everything would be so much more complicated now Blaine had seen him.

Finally he managed to form words. "Home," he stated simply.

Kurt watched as Blaine stared at him opening as closing his mouth as if trying to speak. After a while it seemed he was able to. "What do you mean home?" Blaine questioned him, and Kurt could tell he was trying to keep his voice calm.

Kurt placed the case he had been holding down, and crossed his arms over his chest. "Home, what else does it mean? It means I'm going back to my apartment across town, the apartment I've lived in for the last 5 years." Kurt didn't want to be here with Blaine questioning him; he just wanted to go home.

Kurt heard Blaine take a few deep breaths, "Please tell me Mark isn't going to be at said home?" Blaine said through gritted teeth.

Kurt stepped forward starting to get angry he had just been waiting for that question to come, and he was starting to put up his defences. "I'm not sure if it's any of your business if Mark will be there or not. As far as I was aware I am a free person to do what the hell I liked."

Kurt heard Blaine's shock, "Oh my god Kurt I really can't believe you, and you're going back to him aren't you? You and I both know you're not a free person when it comes to Mark so don't even try and deny it." This time it was Blaine's turn to step forward. "You know even before he turned violent from what you've told me you weren't a free person."

Kurt was so glad he had received a text from his father a while earlier saying he was back in Lima, he definitely couldn't have dealt with Blaine and his father, Blaine was going to be hard enough. Why did Blaine have to question him, and what he wanted to do? Why did Blaine have to question that he knew what he was doing in his life, and Kurt knew he was taking his life to the next level something he'd wanted to do for so long.

"Why the hell do you feel the need to judge Mark you don't even fucking know him…"

Kurt had so much more to say but Blaine cut him off. "Don't have a right to judge him. I don't need to judge him from what you've told me I know everything I say is true. And if you wanna call it judging I think I have every fucking right to judge him seeing as when I turned up at your 'home' as you call it, I witnessed the bastard you have been with for 5 years knock you out. I think I have every right to put in my opinion saying I've been trying to help you find yourself for over a month, and you were doing so well Kurt why now. You deserve so much better Kurt."

Kurt didn't want to be yelled at it reminded him too much or the times Mark had yelled at him, but Blaine had told him to stand up for himself, well he was gonna use that against Blaine now and fight back against him.

"Why the fuck can't you just be happy for me. I want Mark I deserve Mark. And don't you dare mention the day at my apartment he only hit me because you were there." It was only now that Kurt realised they were stood just a few inches apart involved in an all their screaming match.

He didn't want it to be like this. He wanted to be able to leave Blaine a note thanking him for everything he'd done before going home to Mark, and then once things had calmed down he had hoped to meet Blaine again and keep their friendship going. He'd lost him as a friend once and he didn't want that to happen again but it looked like that was exactly what was going to happen.

"That is exactly my point Kurt; he hit you because you had someone that cared about you. Someone that cared enough to come and check you were okay. Someone who cared enough to check you were okay even though at that point they didn't know who you were. You are most certainly not free with him, and I'm sorry to say you never will be Kurt." Kurt could see the hate burning in Blaine's eyes, he knew it was towards Mark and not him but he couldn't help but get angrier.

"I really don't fucking get you sometimes, I'm sure you've told me a few times while I've been here you want me to be happy. Well Mark is making me happy, why can't you be happy I want to take the next step in my relationship with Mark. Just because you've never been in a relationship since you left me doesn't give you the right to hold me back." He didn't mean to be so malicious, they had spoken about past relationships one night as friends, and now Kurt was throwing all of that back in Blaine's face. He was shocked that he was the first and last person Blaine had ever been with even to this day.

"Oh yes low blow Kurt, just bring up everything I trusted to tell you." Kurt could see the hurt in Blaine's eyes and wanted to take it all back but he couldn't he just let Blaine continue. "And what do you mean take the next step in your relationship, please don't tell me after everything, after he stopped you seeing your dad for so long, the dad you almost lost in your junior year in high school, you're marrying the man?"

Wow that hurt, he didn't need to be reminded of how much he'd done against his dad in the past few years, he knew only too well what he'd done to his father and he hated himself for it enough already. "Oh don't bring my father into this. Not that you need to know but no we are not getting married, I'm doing the only other thing I haven't done with my life. We're going to give each other kids."

Kurt watched Blaine throw his hands in the air, and couldn't help but flinch backwards, he knew that Blaine wasn't going to hit him but he'd reacted that many times it was like a reflex now, he didn't even realise he was doing it. "Are you crazy Kurt? I really thought you were fucking better than that, what the hell is going on in your head?" Blaine stepped back and ran his fingers through his hair. To Kurt's surprise Blaine then lowered his voice. "I know you love kids Kurt, and I know you've always wanted a family, I don't know if you realise I remember, but I do remember all those kinds of conversations we had when we were in a relationship, but you can't Kurt you just can't"

"I don't think you decide that," he shot back.

"No Kurt, just fucking hear me out please? You cannot do that Kurt, you're not acting like it now, but you are the most kind and compassionate person I know, and I know that's one of the reasons you want to go back to Mark right now, but you cannot have a family with him. Kurt he physically abused you and it's just so against your nature to bring kids into that, and I know you want to believe he would never hurt them but with all he did to you how could you be sure, he wouldn't hurt you or them." With that Kurt could feel himself losing his resolve a few tears came into his eyes and fell down his cheeks, he wiped them away quickly, the last thing he wanted to be doing now was crying.

"I hear what you're saying Blaine but I trust him; I trust that he's going to change." Kurt said calmly, Blaine had been calm with him; Kurt was going to show the same curiosity back. "I wouldn't be where I am if I never forgave people. I know you may not like it but he won't be the first person I've forgiven. I mean look I've forgiven Finn, Puck, Karofsky, Sebastian, and even you; for me to send that text I had to have completely forgive you for what you did to us. I have to forgive Mark he loves me." Kurt wasn't sure if he was saying it for Blaine's benefit or his own.

Kurt looked into Blaine's eyes and saw what looked like sadness there as he spoke. "He doesn't love you Kurt. You do not do that to someone you love. I know he never would but if your dad laid a finger on Carole would you still call it love, I know you damn well wouldn't. He doesn't love you Kurt."

Kurt lost it, no one, and he meant no one especially someone who broke his heart was going to tell him if Mark loved him or not. "DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME HE DOESN'T LOVE ME, DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ME THAT HE DOESN'T LOVE ME; YOU LOST ALL RIGHT TO THAT WHEN YOU FINISHED WITH ME ALL THOSE YEARS BACK! HE LOVES ME! MAYBE IT'S YOU THAT NEVER LOVED ME, MAYBE THAT'S WHY YOU'RE BEING LIKE YOU ARE NOW!"

"No Kurt, I have every right to say he doesn't love you, I know that for sure. Do you want to know how?" Kurt remained still even when Blaine paused, he wasn't going to make him continue. "I know because I loved you with everything I had, and more than that Kurt I STILL LOVE YOU!" And it was that simple comment that made Kurt's knees buckle.


	34. 33: Broken

So here it is the final chapter to this story, there is a sequel, but I will not begin posting until the new year.

First things first I would like the say an enormous thank you to my beta LeBeauAJ, she has been amazing, and has done so much for me. She has managed to get some chapters back to me within a day so I could get them to you on time, without her this story wouldn't have been what it has.

Second of all I would just like to thank you all for reading, especially those of you who have reviewed, it means so much to me to know what you guys think of this story.

There is an underlying message to this, that things like this really do happen so don't forget that, I know many of you didn't like the fact that Kurt almost went back to Mark, but that's what often happens in real life situations like this, so it was there to give the story more authenticity.

This authors note is getting long so i am going to leave it hear and say i hope you enjoy the story. If you want to read the sequel follow this story and I will post a note in here once it is up.

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Blaine takes his chance and quickly texts Burt, he needs him here just as must as Kurt does right now. He doesn't know why he let his feeling for Kurt slip out but he did and if he is being honest he doesn't regret it. However he is also worried, Kurt's legs had given in as soon as the words left his mouth, however Blaine can hear no sound coming from him other than his slow breaths, and it worrying him.

He knows Burt wouldn't be long and he feels so glad for that. He slips his phone back into his pocket and walks slowly over to Kurt. He kneels down beside him, and after a minute of just being near Kurt he places a hand gently on his shoulder. He moves slowly not knowing how Kurt is likely to react right now. Through everything that had happened since Kurt has been living with him, he had never reacted quite like this and Blaine isn't sure if that is a good or bad thing. He knows the worry is evident on his face, and he knows if Kurt was his old self he would be telling him off for frowning and giving himself frown lines, but right now he doesn't care he just wants this poor broken man in front of him to be okay.

Blaine is glad when Kurt doesn't flinch as he places a hand on his shoulder. He leaves it there for a while, keeping his own breathing steady, which in a way is such a hard task with the nerves he is feeling towards how broken this man in front of him is. He'd known that Kurt had a long process of healing to go through before all of this, but this is making it clear to Blaine just how bad it is. He isn't stupid he knows it was the words 'I still love you' coming out of his mouth that caused Kurt to go like this. It makes him wonder just how long it has been since Kurt felt truly loved, and he hates that fact. He knows partially what it is like, once he came out he knew he lost the true love of his parents however he'd always known, even when he wasn't there that Cooper loved him. He is guessing from this that Kurt hadn't even completely remembered that people such as his Dad and Carole love him and that is killing him. After letting his thoughts run around in his mind for a little while longer he decides it's time to speak. Kurt can't stay like he is on the floor.

He speaks in nothing more than a whisper and even that sounds like a shout within the room. "Kurt, I know you can't be comfy right now I want to move you onto the sofa." He pauses and when no reply comes he continues, "I know you're so scared right now, but I want to be able to move you. I am going to pick you up; I want you to tell me if you want me to stop however." He waits again and when Kurt still says nothing he carefully slides his hand down Kurt's back so that it is resting in the middle, he takes his other arm and very slowly and gently places it under Kurt's legs. So many thoughts are running though his mind as to how Kurt might react but still nothing. So he slowly lifts Kurt up and carries him to the couch laying him on it gently. He removes his hand gently, he isn't planning on being far from Kurt but he can't exactly half stand half squat for long, he is going to sit on the floor next to the sofa so that Kurt knows he's here for him until Burt arrives, but so that he also doesn't feel pressured to do anything but just lay there if he doesn't want to. So he is therefore shocked that as his hand leaves Kurt's back and is about to reach his own side that feels Kurt's hand reach for his own.

"Don't leave me, please never leave me," he hears Kurt whisper, and it breaks his heart all over again. Blaine's own barrier breaks and tears are silently slipping down his own face. He takes Kurt's hand in both of his and kneels down on the floor right next to where Kurt's head lays on the sofa. "I will never leave if you don't want me to Kurt, I didn't mean for it to come out like it did but it's true, I still do love you." He says it looking Kurt directly in the eyes, trying to make sure he believes it, so he realises that what he has with Mark isn't love, it seems that's clear to everyone but Kurt. However it seems to work as all of a sudden he sees the tears form in Kurt eyes. However he notices he doesn't let them fall.

Blaine rubs his thumb over Kurt's knuckles a simple gesture of comfort that they had shared between two so many times before, back when they were both just friends and also boyfriends. He had hoped that it would get Kurt to let go, let go of what he was holding in but it didn't work. However he didn't want to push Kurt to cry, he knew only too well how Kurt was with emotions. So he just sat there for a while rubbing his finger repeatedly over Kurt's knuckles.

He doesn't know how long it's been but then he hears the door open, and looks up to see a very worried Burt coming through the door. Blaine doesn't ever remember seeing him look so old, not even the day when he first turned up at the apartment to see Kurt. Blaine watches as Burt walks towards them, and sits down next to him, on the floor, not something he should have been doing at his age, but it is clear to Blaine that right at this moment Burt really doesn't care. He watches as Burt places a hand on his son's shoulder and says simply, "Kurt we're here, let it go, let it out," and that was it Blaine watches the tears that had stayed firmly in Kurt's eyes for so long spill over the edge.

He feels Kurt's hand squeeze his tightly before he feels himself being pulled gently closer to Kurt. He doesn't know what to do, he doesn't want to be over bearing if Kurt doesn't what him too close, but he doesn't want to reject Kurt. His mind is made up for him however when Burt whispered in his ear, "He wants you to hold him Blaine and I mean properly hold him. Get on the couch and comfort him," and that's exactly what Blaine does slowly once again so Kurt can stop him if he's pushing boundaries, however he's never stopped, and soon Kurt is curled up against Blaine with his head was laying on his lap. Blaine can't help but card his fingers through Kurt's soft hair. He looks up to see Burt watching them with a smile on his face. Blaine gives him a quizzical look Kurt is so broke how can he be smiling? "He's broken, he's got to his worst point he can only get better from here. He did the same when his mother died, he broke slightly got better, but then had to break fully before he could begin to heal." Blaine watches Burt mouth to him slowly answering his question. He nods in response then turns back towards Kurt.

"Your safe now, everything is going to be okay in the end. He'll never get to you again." The words seem to break Kurt's barriers even more, and Blaine listens as the most ear splitting sob leaves Kurt's body, and it isn't just the one they continue for long than Blaine thinks possible. He just moves so he can hold Kurt closer and rocks him backwards and forwards, for over two hours, letting the man get out all the emotion, pain and hurt he needs to.

Once Kurt has finished crying, Blaine notices he still didn't loosen his grip on him so he decides not to loosen his grip on Kurt either. Burt is still with them, and it was him who speaks first. "You can't go back to him Kurt. We all love you too much to lose you," he stated simply, "You're my son and I never want to be without you again. I love you, we love you."

"I know you do and I love you too dad. He promised me everything I'd ever wanted, why can't I have that? Why have I never been able to get what I wanted, I've never wanted everything but there were always a few things I wanted, why couldn't I have those simple things?" Blaine holds Kurt closer, he has some idea about how Kurt is feeling right now.

"I don't know son, but what I do know is that one day, you'll get it and everything will be perfect." Blaine knows Burt is trying to do everything to get Kurt to believe him.

"But it isn't perfect Dad; I'm too broken to be perfect. I've been messed up for too long," Kurt whimpers.

Blaine doesn't even give Burt time to reply he replies instead. "Kurt you are such a strong man, and you may feel like everything is hopeless right now, but if anyone can get through this you can. We'll help you, all of us."

Hearing those words makes Kurt feel slightly better, but who does Blaine mean by "we'll", he wouldn't be surprised if Rachel and everyone else never wants to speak to him again. He hadn't exactly been a good friend these past few years.

"No I really am too broke," and he knows he is, he knows it the truth. "I hate myself for what I've allowed myself to become."

"Don't hate yourself Kurt you're special, always have been and always will be, and honestly one day you'll have all you ever dreamed you would have." Kurt closes his eyes as Blaine speaks. He can tell from the tone of Blaine's voice that every word is spoken with 100% truth. Then he feels it, something he hasn't felt for so long. His heart gave a little flutter. He doesn't know what possesses him to say it but the next few words just sort of slip out.

"Do you know what Blaine," he said moving to look Blaine directly in the eye "I think deep down I still love you too, I don't think I ever stopped loving you either." Kurt knows he still has a long way to go, but he's told what he wanted to tell Blaine ever since he had saved him over a month ago, and he knows that one day he will learn to forget his past and look to his future.

* * *

A massive thank you to everyone once again, and look out for the sequel x


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